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My Hope

My hope is that the Trump name soon becomes so toxic and reviled that even those who share the last name but are of no blood relation are forced to change them.

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Word.

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Things More Popular Than Trump

As Cheetolini prepares to assume office with the worst approval rating of any incoming president in the last hundred years, I thought it might be a good time to point out some awful things that are actually more popular than the incoming dictator.

Nickelback
Hair Gropenführer lost to the internationally reviled band by 5 points.

Used Car Salesmen
The jerk who sold you your last lemon gained 6 more points than the Cheeto-in-Chief

Traffic Jams
People preferred being stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic over Pumpkin Pinochet by 7 points.

Hipsters
The Tangerine Nutsack went head to head with this frequently loathed population and lost by 7 points.

DMV
We all hate the DMV, but people polled hate the Human-Toupee Hybrid more—by 10 points.

Root Canals
The painful dental procedure was preferred over The Walking Can of Cheese Whiz by 11 points.

Jury Duty
People would rather be forced to give up their time and pay check than live in a nation ruled by Fuckface Von Clownstick, who fell behind this unpleasantry by a whopping 22 points. Welcome to Hell, folks.

Lice
The poll by Public Policy Polling shows that Trumplethinskin lost out to lice by 26 points. Ouch.

Cockroaches
These famously disgusting, disease-carrying bugs score a higher rating than the Mandarin Manchurian Candidate. Fortunately, we know that at least the cockroaches will survive any of the various Trumpocalypses in our darker timelines.

Hemorrhoids
Apparently The Short-Fingered Vulgarian is less desirable than a pain in the butt.

Finance Industry
Wall Street’s disapproval rating is 3 points lower than The Nacho Nazi.

Genghis Khan
People actually view the ruler of the Mongol hoard more favorably than The Mangled Apricot Hellbeast. A telling statistic.

But it’s not all bad news for the PEOTUS. He does still manage to beat infamous cult leader/serial murderer Charles Manson. So, chin(s) up Donald, there’s no place to go but up.

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Wheels Within Wheels


“We live in loops as tight and as closed as the hosts do, seldom questioning our choices, content, for the most part, to be told what to do next.” ~ Dr. Robert Ford, Westworld

I remember having one of those deep, philosophical discussions with a friend several years ago and the subject of reincarnation came up. He posited that reincarnation was indeed real, but that instead of moving on to new adventures in new timelines, we simply go back and do everything again and again, until—as he put it—we get it right. At the time that thought horrified me; it was like we were trapped in a never-ending Groundhog Day, but blessedly unaware that we’d passed this way before.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot now that the first season of Westworld has come and gone, and that one quote above stands out. I mean, it makes as much sense as anything else to explain our “reality.”

But how would this work? How could you reincarnate again and again into the exact same timeline, only to unchangingly experience the same things again and again—and what about everyone else who you’ve interacted with?

I guess the only way I was able to wrap my had around it was to envision it as an infinitely complex series of interlocking gears. Your lifetime is one gear. Connected to that gear are the gears of everyone else in your life; everyone you’ve known or are yet to meet; and through those gears, the gears of everyone who has ever lived—or will ever live. You’re all meshed together, but only certain segments of those gears actively interact with each other (i.e., your time in each other’s lives).

Philosophically speaking, the only issue I have with this idea is that it doesn’t allow for any change or growth beyond one’s original storyline, something that is the antithesis of what we’ve come to accept as being a fundamental part of life and of being human.

But it does explain those occasional instances of Déjà vu, does it not?

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Quote Of The Day

I don’t see this president-elect as a legitimate president… I think the Russians participated in helping this man get elected. And they helped destroy the candidacy of Hillary Clinton.” ~ Legitimately elected state representative John Lewis (D-Georgia) who will not be attending Trump’s coronation inauguration.

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Inspired Look

Evan Rachel Wood attends the 18th Annual Post-Golden Globes Party hosted by Warner Bros. Pictures and InStyle at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California (January 8, 2017)

I’ve been meaning to post this since I first saw it. For an actress to dress like this for such a prestigious event takes balls. Her look was so stunning and yet caused me to do a double-take because I knew I had seen something very similar before. Then it dawned on me: Victor-Victoria.

Bravo! No, “Brava!”

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The “I’m Getting Old” Starter Pack

  • “This is way too sweet.”
  • “They’re remaking that movie already?”
  • “My back hurts.”
  • “Wait…people get mad about that now?”
  • “I can’t eat that, it’s gonna fuck my stomach up.”
  • “Hold on let me check my calendar first.”
  • “I need to buy a bigger pill box.”
  • Turns on radio. [groans]

Feel free to add your own in the comments!

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And Of Course…

…right on cue, the petulant, cheeto-faced man-child set to assume the Presidency in 11 days had a 3 am meltdown on Twitter over Meryl’s speech last night.

In the hours after after Hair Furor disgorged his early-morning missive, the army of his sycophants chimed in, led by the always death-warmed-over Kellyanne Conway, a.k.a. das Backpfeifengesicht, who appeared on Faux News to ask if Meryl was so concerned about the disabled why she didn’t mention the mentally-challenged boy who was tortured on Facebook during her speech.

The lack of self-awareness displayed by Trump supporters complaining that celebrities like Meryl should stay out of politics when they elected a reality TV star with no political background is just fucking deafening.

More than anything, it punctuates the shitgibbon’s lack of self-esteem. And again I have to ask, if this man is so thin-skinned that he will obsess about anyone who doesn’t bow down and kiss his tiny-handed ring by spewing out insults via Twitter, how is he going to react to a real crisis?

I don’t even want to think about it.

I believe what’s at the root of this insecurity is Trump knowing in his heart of hearts that he will never be loved or admired by people in a way that Meryl (or Obama, or any number of others he’s lashed out at) are—and it’s drives him crazy. Hell, he and his administration are actually shaping up to be the most resoundingly hated group of people ever to assume power in this country, and that’s a stink that he won’t ever be able to wash off no matter how many rim jobs he gets from his Nazi followers.

 

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