When you've lost Fox "News," you might as well give up and pack it in.
Can You Make Sense of Any of This?
I stumbled across this word salad on Tumblr and my brain spaghettified while trying to make sense of it:
So you sure as hell don't need to justify not sleeping with someone you're not attracted to. And that includes someone you may have initially been attracted to, but changed your mind later due to personality, compatibility or any other reason.
You don't owe anyone your sexual attraction, initial or ongoing.
The entire point of the gay rights movement, for gay, bi and, yes, straight women and men too, was that who you are or are not attracted to, who your consenting adult partners are, is nobody else's damn business.
That hasn't changed.
Anyone trying to tell you otherwise is as regressive and authoritarian as the sanctimonious bigots the gay rights movement fought against the first time around. That now includes former gay advocacy groups such as Stonewall UK, HRC and Pink News, which have abandoned recognition of same-sex attraction entirely as a matter of mere "genital preference." Using pretentious academic jargon doesn't change that any more than using pietistic scriptural proclamations.
Relieve yourself of the cultural panic of being called a bigot. It's no different than being called a sinner; it's only meaningful if you subscribe to their ideology.
And anyway, Queer Theorists endorse pedophilia and bestiality, so you're very far from being on the moral back foot.
Whether you're gay, bi or straight, be homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual guiltlessly.
Can someone explain this to me like I'm a 5-year old?
The Drugs Were Good in the 70s
Space: Carry On, Turn Me On (1979)
SMDH
"Don't Do Meth"
Venting
WARNING: This is gonna be a long one. You might just wanna skip over and head to the next nekkid man.
It started out simply enough. I wanted to throw together a document at work that explains the new way one of our home-brew applications works. It's something I regularly do and add to our department OneNote binder.
I made an initial screenshot and was surprised that I wasn't offered the option of opening it in Paint 3D as was usually the case. I went to open the application directly and it wasn't there. I had just used it a few days ago, but now it was gone. Completely.
How the fuck does that happen?
Suspecting that someone in Main ITS had been fucking around with something, I checked with a colleague to see if he had it on his workstation. He reported that no, it was gone from his as well.
Okay, I thought. No big deal. I'll just go out to the Microsoft Store and download it again.
What. The. Fuck?
Now I knew that Main ITS had locked down the store tighter than a virgin asshole, forcing us to use our corporate ID to access the store and then only offering a small smattering of apps to download, but I'd never run into it being blocked completely.
Maybe it was something with my ID? I logged out of the machine and logged back in with my administrative ID. Same issue. The same ID I use to set up new machines and update the pre-installed Store apps that ITS put on the image.
I logged into a desktop machine I use for purely administrative tasks and saw that Paint 3D was missing there as well. I attempted to reach the store on that machine and it got me right in. This was getting really weird.
I immediately suspected this was related to the fact that I had Windows 11 on my laptop and my admin desktop was still on Windows 10.
I went ahead and submitted a ticket about the missing application and the fact that the store was blocked on my laptop—knowing full well the Help Desk would just turn around and throw them back in our queue. To their credit, they only threw the "store blocked" ticket back at us. I got a call from a guy asking about the Paint 3D and he told me he could make it available in SCCM/Software Center for a direct download.
Sure enough, about ten minutes later I checked and it was available to download.
And the download failed. Repeatedly. I even rebooted to make sure.
I believe it was failing because it was trying to open the Microsoft Store, and since I couldn't get there to begin with it wouldn't install.
My next thought was that something in my profile on the machine was causing all these issues; some obscure bit flipped the wrong way. Recreating my profile from scratch would solve the issue surely.
Don't call me Shirley.
I logged back into the machine with my admin profile, renamed my regular user profile folder with a .bak extension, and cleared out the reference to that profile in the registry (exporting it to a .reg file first…just in case I needed it later.)
Logged out, logged in with my regular user credentials and waited while the machine churned away creating the profile. It churned and it churned, and after about 5 minutes I left to use the bathroom. When I got back ten minutes later it had logged in. But the task bar at the bottom of the screen was completely blank. No start button, no application icons, no clock…nothing.
I rebooted and logged back in. Same thing happened.
I went through the entire process one more time. Same result. Searching the internet for "empty task bar windows 11" brought up several solutions, none of which worked in my particular case.
It was time go go nuclear.
Due to the amount of additional applications and customization I'd done to my laptop, the last thing I wanted to do was wipe the entire thing and start fresh. The hardware was also going on five years old, so it was beyond time for me to replace it with something newer and the only thing which had prevented me from doing so for the last several months was the amount of work needed to put everything back the way it was. But now I was forced.
It was already late in the afternoon, but I manager to get a much newer laptop imaged almost precisely at quitting time. I thought I'd join it to the domain, load the half dozen default applications that are not part of the base image, get my standard account logged in and VPN set up and leave the rest (that I could do remotely) for the next day, which was a scheduled WFH day.
It wouldn't let me join the domain. My admin account was now locked out because of too many failed login attempts.
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
I called the Help Desk to have the account unlocked (because my colleagues had all left for the day) and was informed that "We can't unlock admin accounts. I'll open a ticket for Security & Identity Management."
I told him not to bother. I was just going to go home and let it reset itself overnight. I realized any thought of working from home the next day had been destroyed as I could not remotely do any of the remaining tasks necessary to get a functioning laptop.
I texted my boss and let him know what had happened and that I'd be coming into the office tomorrow (today)…but just long enough to get my laptop functioning again and then would finish out the day at home. He was fine with that.
As I texted Ben as I left work, "I have never had a more emotionally frustrating day at work than I had today."
Fortunately, by noon today I got everything up and restored on the new laptop and was back home shortly after lunch.
I also did not update this machine to Windows 11—nor do I plan to.
2025 cannot come quickly enough.
Fasten Your Seat Belts
WARNING: What follows is a whole lot of crazy. You may lose a few brain cells by the time you get to the end of this and need to start drinking heavily after wading through this cesspool of st00pid.
From Green Eagle:
Wingnut Wrapup
Oh yeah, after several months of boring repetition of the same old Q-Anon garbage, the right is alive again. This is, of course, because their uber-hero and Godlike strongman, Vlad what-was-his-name has proven to be the paper tiger that all wingnuts thought Biden was. They never had a problem supporting a corrupt, murderous tyrant, as we all know, but that doesn't extend to supporting a corrupt, murderous loser tyrant, and seeing as how there is not a tyrant in the world that seems ready to step into the shoes that they thought Putin was wearing, they are having to think fast to salvage a world wide crusade that anyone can see has run out of gas before it got out of the driveway (or out of Donbas oblast, anyway.) And here is (a small part of) the result.
I must begin by noting that I have been growing ever more lax about giving proper credit to the cretins who wrote the following. It is all the product of the same hive mind, so until this guy shows up to fight the battle for himself, there's no point in naming the myriad individual zombies spouting his nonsense. And after all, in the end, the hive queen was surprisingly easy to defeat, just like a certain Russian guy I am sure you can think of.
"P.A.N.I.C. Mode! The Initial Strike Will Be Fast, Sudden, Swift & Soon! Patriots Are in Full Control – Epic, Must Watch!"
Just like Vlad. Fast, Sudden, Swift, Soon, and a colossal failure, i.e. their specialty.
"There is a mass transfer of Judeo-American armored vehicles from Germany to Poland."
"Judeo-American armored vehicles?" The M1A3 Bagel? The sinister anti-tank weapon, the hardened matzo ball?"
"Checkmate: On Tues. 15 March Joe Biden and 12 other Americans were sanctioned by Russia. That means every account they had was put on hold with no movement of money going anywhere – ever."
Yeah, you count on that, buddy. Being sanctioned by Russia these days is like being challenged to an IQ faceoff by Marsha Blackburn. Likely a criminal abuse against the mentally disabled.
"Every sanctioned account on the US Treasury controlled Central Banks daisy-chain are put on hold. The spigot is shut tight and not a drip is allowed to travel anywhere. Every account with an individual's name attached is put "on hold" whether corporate, savings, on or off ledger. There can be no movement of money going anywhere when there are sanctions. No payments, no outgoing or incoming money. No new accounts established with the sanctioned person's name. Nothing having anything to do with banking. Credit cards are frozen. Everything goes into the deep freeze."
Yeah, that's the way it works, right. Glad you have such a brilliant understanding of the world economic system. P.S.- have you noticed that your credit card doesn't work any more? No? Me either.
"This Fall the Deep State planned to release dangerous pathogens on the general public – a plan disrupted by the Russian Army when it found 30 US Inc. run bio-weapon labs in the Nazi controlled Ukraine"
Or maybe more:
"The 336 Bio-weapon Labs discovered by the Russian Army were found to be set up by Obama"
30 or 360 or whatever. Actually, of course, they found zero, but why quibble?
"99% of the images shown in the media about the war in Ukraine are fake. They use made-up actors, fake scenarios, computer graphics and hate speech against Putin and Russians"
I saw a lot of the same people that were at the Parkland shooting, I think.
"The letter Z was the symbol of the Russian Army's mandate to liberate the Ukrainian people from their Zionist Khazarian Mafia Nazi government."
Sure it is. As Green Eagle has pointed out before, the adoption of the Z is because most neo-Nazis are too stupid to even draw a swastika right, so they are settling for half of one.
"Ukraine War: Russia's deadline passes with Ukraine refusing to lay down arms and surrender Mariupol"
Green Eagle's deadline has also passed, and the French government has refused to surrender Versailles for him to use as a vacation house. Trouble is coming now.
"The Russian large landing ship "Orsk," accompanied by the naval forces of the Black Sea Fleet, entered and unloaded military equipment in the port of Berdyansk. Ukrainian troops that were based in Berdyansk – thousands and thousands of soldiers and sailors – surrendered the port without a fight, leaving the entire infrastructure of the port intact."
Russian ship unloading military equipment at Berdyansk:
Another spectacular success of the unstoppable Russian war machine.
"Shrink wrapping and torturing starving women and children around trees in Ukraine. This is happening frequently in Ukraine to those speaking against the Ukrainian Nazi Government."
Because of course it is. They're just lucky Zelensky is not having them freeze dried, for use later.
But wait! There's more!
"The Market Report for Tues. 15 March indicated extreme fear of a Market Crash very soon"
Wishful thinking on the part of a political party that has now descended to the point of openly working for the destruction of our government.
"Charlie Ward, head of the Global Currency Reset Redemption Committee: ―This week watch out for the Global financial collapse and for the Queen not with us anymore"
That was last week. How did that work out, Charlie?
"China, India, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Poland, Iran, Japan, Iraq and Venezuela were suspected to have switched over to their own gold/ asset-backed currencies – it just hasn't been announced yet."
No, but they are "suspected" of it. Suspected by whom? Who knows?
And then there's COVID…
And lest you think they've abandoned their Covid lies, just because their fascist world is crumbling right in front of them:
"People continue to be misled, in my opinion, about certain sicknesses, including CONvid-1984, by believing it is a contagious disease. First, SARS-C0V-2 has NEVER been proven to exist and it has NEVER been isolated. Second, many of the symptoms that people have experienced are known to come from electro-magnetic radiation. In a brief video, with evidence you will not see in the Mockingbird media, you will witness what 5G is doing and has done to life on earth. I'll let the viewer make their own decision as to whether this is the culprit of the alleged CONVIDs or not."
"Covid Vaccines contained Graphene Oxide that when combined with 5G waves could be used to control humans"
"Vaccine Passports were designed to track your personal information and record conversations and emails"
How a small piece of paper can record conversations escapes me, but those lie-berals are so evil that anything is possible.
"Those who have vaccine passports and decide not use the next Vaccines or Boosters will face fines, media restrictions, while all collection of your data will be sent to Authorization Outlets for criminal prosecution."
According to whom? Who knows.
"Bio-Weapon Gene Edited Mosquitoes to be released on Florida"
Well, at least one Dr. Evil level plot I can get behind. As long as they can make sure that the mosquitoes do not make it past Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi. After all, any editing of the genes of these Southern crackers has to be an improvement, am I right here?
"Widespread Contamination Of The Food Supply With Graphene Oxide To Create Zombies?"
Well, at least it might solve Vladimir Putin's troop shortage problems.
And now, today's special Bill Gates section:
"As we speak, the madman, Bill Gates, is working feverishly on the development of a "vaccine" — that's what he calls a bioweapon — that will infect people like a disease and with the same effect. Gates has gone utterly off his rocker and needs to be arrested and taken off the street as soon as possible."
"I personally believe that Bill Gates III is criminally insane and needs to be apprehended and restrained and hospitalized under psychiatric examination as a Public Danger. He was already responsible for the deaths and maiming of thousands of innocent people throughout Africa and India before he successfully launched the Covid-19 pandemic and sought to profit himself by selling bioweapons redefined as "vaccines". This behavior is deeply psychotic and this murderer needs to be arrested and prosecuted without further ado."
"(Bill and) and all others who have knowingly participated in and promoted these events to profit themselves and their political agendas via inflicting genocide and unlawful conversion of the victims into Genetically Modified Organism (GMOs)— which is already illegal and unlawful in this country, no matter what the Territorial United States Supreme Court may opine."
Bill, like George Soros, has committed the one unforgivable crime a billionaire can commit: spending his money to try to help anyone but himself and his fellow billionaires. So he needs to be demonized as a James Bond-level villain, while real evil monsters like the Kochs, the Waltons, the Mercers et. al. are deified as saints of capitalism for the act of never once thinking of anyone on earth but themselves. That, by the way, is Soros' real crime- the Jewish thing is just icing on the cake.
And now, the Supply Chain:
"Another Evergreen ship stuck – this time in Baltimore's Chesapeake Bay – on the March anniversary of the Evergreen Ship that blocked the Suez Canal. Evergreen was jointly owned by the Clintons and Walmart. Last year thousands of children were found dead and rescued from the Evergreen ship blocking the Suez Canal which also contained weapons of Mass Destruction."
The Clintons and Walmart. Right.
"Mother Theresa was a man, Mossad Agent and father of ―Dr. Death Fauci. Theresa ran a Child Sex Trafficking Ring out of the Vatican"
Fauci was doomed from the beginning, being the child of Mother Teresa and all. Although, as the above idiot has spelled her name Theresa, maybe he is talking about a completely different mother, perhaps my wife's mother, who was named Theresa, and was such a clever Mossad agent that we never suspected she was an international spy, or that she ran a world wide sex trafficking ring from her home in New Jersey, until I read the above. It all makes so much sense, now.
And now this news flash from Truth Social, Donald Trump's almost inconceivably successful (sarcasm, in case you can't tell the difference between truth and comedy any more) new social media startup:
Truth Social: "BREAKING‼️ SOMETHING BIG IS COMING.
DONALD TRUMP AND VLADIMIR PUTIN ARE GOING LIVE!
People, the time has come! Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are coming back stronger than ever and they are going to talk about Ukraine's CABAL, the 2020 elections, the WORLD WAR III, Ukraine's BIOCHEMICAL WEAPONS, Truth Social, and Biden RIGHT HERE ON TRUTH SOCIAL'S OFFICIAL PROFILE!
Be ready people."
We are ready. I've got three bottles of cheap bourbon in my desk already. No need for a glass- it's going straight down the gullet.
"Nazi Hunting is official. Special Forces are hunting and executing Pedos worldwide. On the Killing Lists: Satanists and Pedo Zionist aka Nazis – nowhere to hide as Special Ops are tracking you live"
Zionists aka Nazis. Well, there you go. An understanding of world history absolutely unparalleled in modern times.
"Spring Full Worm Moon Intel! Things Are Moving Quickly"
Huh? That "intel" comes from someone whose credentials to speak out on politics are as follows:
"I am a Legal Assistant, Gospel Singer/ Songwriter Musician and love horses. My Uncle Mat served in 3 World Wars!"
And here, I only knew about two. Oh right, there's the secret one against the Reptilians.
"Situation Update: Today's Studio Fake White House Set! Fake Ukraine War! Fake Crisis Actors! Fake Politicians! Swift Gone! Elite Prisoners Take To GITMO! DEW-Created Japan Earthquake! – We The People News"
Fake! Fake!! FAKE!!!!! There, I guess that proves that.
"Are we still supposed to be worshiping Zelensky today or is something else going to be the distraction from our economy being destroyed by Joe Biden."
Oh, grow up.
"Situation Update: Joe Biden To Be Assassinated!!"
If they can. That's their plan. Don't kid yourself.
"US elections on November 3, 2020 were won by President Donald Trump in all 50 states. The Deep State tried to fake them and the Media reported that Joe B. he has won them over. BUT! The official ballot was electronic watermarked, which the counterfeiters were unaware of. So every vote cast for President Trump was recorded on a quantum server and the fate of each ballot is known. On January 20, 2021 at 12:00 noon the United States was taken over by a military government led by Secretary of Military General Christopher Miller and Commander-inChief, the lawfully elected President Donald Trump."
We've heard all of this so many times that the only thing I want to mention here is how the word "quantum" has become a magic talisman to the wingnuts, signifying some mysterious way they are outfoxing the left in some Trumpian game of 15 dimensional chess. It's sort of like their recent use of the word "hypersonic" to refer to largely fictional weapons that the US is just too stupid to defeat. And it goes on and on:
"The role of the fake Joe Biden was being played by three different actors. His entire "crew" was a cast selected by President Trump's team. The White House and Capitol and all federal buildings in Washington have been empty and closed as of January 20, 2021."
"Supreme Commander-in-Chief of the US Army is President Trump!"
"President Vladimir Putin was currently shattering the last remnants of the New World Order in an operation called Z."
"Putin and Trump were allies and collaborators."
Well, at least that's for fucking sure.
"We have another clean up – Taiwan. There, the work will be done by Chinese President Xi Jinping, and this operation will begin at any moment."
Right wingers are for any dictator with the gumption to invade a small country and beat the crap out of them.
"The White Hats who were fighting Globalism and the New World Order were headed by Q (JFK Jr.), President and Melania Trump (Q+), China‟s Xi Jinping (who, with help of the White Hats, was ousting the Chinese Communist Party), Russia‟s Putin (who, with the help of the White Hats was ousting the Russian Communist Party), Ben Salman of Saudia Arabia, Modi of India, Jong of North Korea, Bolsonaro of Brazil and Orban of Hungary."
All the subhuman dictators on earth, and the Republicans are cheering them on.
"I bet many of you still believe the Media that the United States has a new government headed by the deceased 3 years ago Joe Biden."
No, we do not believe that. We believe the United States has the same old government it has had since 1783 (with the possible exception of 2016-2020,) headed by the very much alive Joe Biden, who is showing every day what a real President is.
"Russia and the United States have been allies in all wars so far. It's all just propaganda from the last remnants of globalism."
All wars? The Mexican war? The Spanish American war? The Russo-Japanese war of 1905? Iraq? The invasion of Georgia? Syria? Yup, and anyone who denies this is a deep state liar.
"Bulgarian political leaders are controlled by Soros, but they don't know he is gone and are following orders from the World Economic Forum in Davos via Brussels headquarters."
Whatever.
"This movie is going to end. The man who will appear in Bulgaria as a Military Minister is not such a man, but an actor from the People's Awakening Team. His actions have no legal value."
The People's Awakening Team. As far as I can tell from Google, the People's Awakening Team is a group founded in Alaska to promote sobriety among native people. A good cause, I must say, but I can't quite figure out what it has to do with Bulgaria. Well, they do say it's a movie, so maybe there is an explanation that makes more sense than anything we hear from the right these days. And as for movies:
"We are witnessing the most incredible movie in the history of mankind"
Snakes on a Plane? Where these jerks come from, that is probably in first release.
"Flynn can fry Mueller and 4 treasonous Presidents and take down the NWO agenda within America and at least the last 4 administrations. The Russia hoax is nothing more than to target Flynn, push him out of the Obama administration and to surpress the Gulen terrorist Network to be exposed."
The Obama administration? Have we entered a time warp?
"Situation Update: Operation Z! Trump Is President! JFK Jr. VP! End Of Petro Dollar! 3 Bidens! Pelosi AI! Ukraine MSM Footage 99% Fake! Putin Rescuing Children Underground! Taiwan Invasion Next! – We The People News"
Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before.
"The world was very dependent on China for virtually everything from aluminum to food, to Goods, almost everything plastic, boxes that cover food, packaging for industries, electronic wires and computer parts and chips. And, China was about to pull the plug, the drastic affects of which were soon incoming. It was strongly advised to have at least 2-3 weeks worth of food, fuel, cash and essential items in storage for yourself and others around you not so awake as you."
Which the producers of that website will be perfectly willing to sell you, an a NOT AT ALL EXORBITANT markup.
"NASA confirms Dust-apocalypse heading to Americas"
In case you need something else to worry about.
"The Rodriquez and St. Germaine Trusts that fund NESARA/GESARA would be paid out overnight Tues. night into Wed. 23 March according to Bruce."
I.e. everybody would get all the income tax they had ever paid back, thanks to Donald Trump. Didn't happen. Surprised? The wingnuts are treated to this exact same prediction on a weekly basis. Funny that it never happens, and they never seem to notice having been lied to over and over again.
"On Tues. 22 March JFK Jr. posted ―I can't be silenced any more. In seven days from now, on 31st of March 2022, the whole world is going to see the hidden truth behind the toxic matrix. God bless America."
We'll see, JFK Jr. So far, your prediction rate is a great big fat 0%. Maybe that's because you are dead, maybe not.
"Russian Aerospace Bombs Biden‟s Villa in Ukraine"
Maybe that is why they are running out of bombs to send to real targets in Ukraine- They shot them all at fairy tale castles.
"Putin was playing a very important Chess move that has kicked off the rise of the Deep State War."
Must have been using that fifty dimensional chess board he got from Trump. It seems to work just as well for Putin as it did for Trump. Of course, it wasn't Trump's fault. How was he to know that Kim Jong Un had a 52 dimension chess board?
"Draconian Reptoids Shot Down!"
And? Happens every day. In wingnut world, anyway.
"Enough with Sanctions Already…China gave Joe Biden a reality check last week. Part of that revelation includes the foolishness of sanctions, if only Biden will listen."
The more sanctions work, the more "foolish" they are. Makes perfect sense. Just depends on which side you're rooting for.
"At the EU, several MPs castigated Justin Trudeau as a tyrannical pariah…Interestingly, this fact has been kept far away from Canadian and American news consumers."
The weakest liberal since Tony Blair—a tyrant. Better be careful, guys—you are going to be out of adjectives when someone like Bernie Sanders gets elected.
"Why all of a sudden did Ukraine become the center of the universe?"
Nuclear war. That's why, idiot.
"What, exactly, is the goal of America's and NATO's supply of arms and funds to Ukraine, and their unprecedented (and very costly to us — see oil prices and fertilizer shortages and resultant food shortages, as well as the damage to the dollar's status as reserve currency) sanctions against Russia? Are they trying to corner Putin and drive him out of office (or have him assassinated, as Lindsey Graham has stated)? It certainly seems that way."
"to corner Putin and drive him out of office (or have him assassinated)"…Yeah, that is pretty much the program, I'd say. And it sounds pretty reasonable, given the alternative, which, if I need to remind you, is nuclear war. Let's see now- one dead dictator versus a hundred million dead innocent civilians- man, hard to pick which one of those is the better outcome. Of course, a hundred million innocent civilians cannot give Trump his $200 million Moscow hotel deal, so maybe that changes things. This jackass continues:
"When the other guy is effectively beaten but still needs to keep his dignity intact, offer him a gracious way out. You never know how much fight he might have left in him, or what desperate-stupid thing he might try if you insist on pushing him too hard."
A gracious way out for a genocidal mass murderer. Yeah, that has always worked. No gracious way out for the real monsters among us, however:
"Jim Jordan Says the House of Representatives Should Consider Impeaching Joe Biden"
For succeeding as a Democrat—an impeachable offense if ever there was one (see Clinton, Bill).
"Media Collusion to Ignore Hunter's Laptop Was Epitome of Election Tampering"
It was election tampering to refuse to trumpet Republican lies on a daily basis, and you see the result: a Democrat won a fair election, which we cannot have in this country if the right people are to remain in charge. It was not election tampering, on the other hand, for the press to ignore the clear evidence of Trump's treason.
"Trump's Cuba Policy Still Has Putin and His Proxies Squealing Like Pigs"
What Cuba policy? Mindless hatred? How could Putin be against that? Must be a story from the lying press.
"Hot Mic Catches School Board Member Asking to 'Set Marsha Blackburn on Fire'
So? What's your point? I think that might work. I know that it might violate several pollution regulations, but I'm sure her fellow Republicans will give them a pass on that.
"Trump to Hillary Clinton: I'm Suing the Hell Out of You for Peddling the Russian Collusion Hoax"
I.e. for saying anything bad about me during an election campaign. That's illegal, or it will be if I get back in office, and you better be ready for it.
It was just fine, of course, to portray Hillary as a tool of Satan who eats babies. That's just incisive political analysis, Republican style.
And there you go. The world through the ugliest kaleidoscope ever made.
Have any of these wingnuts been tested for tertiary syphilis? maybe mad cow disease?
At First I Thought, "HOW?!" and Then Immediately, "Not At All Surprising."
Yesterday
Yesterday could've started out better.
I got to the office at my appointed 7:30 am arrival time. I logged into my email and was greeted by this:
From: training@tanium.com
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2022 7:40 AM
Subject: Tanium Training
Good morning,
There was a slight mix up with the start time for training today (daylight savings time for us, not for Arizona). Please join your MS Teams meeting as soon as you can.
Thank you, sorry for the confusion and have a wonderful training!
Emily Hathaway
Training Delivery Specialist
The Power of Certainty | Tanium
3550 Carillon Point, Kirkland WA 98033
Join the Tanium Community | Privacy Policy
This mandatory day-long online training was scheduled to begin at 8:00 am. But because these idiots apparently don't understand daylight savings time and screwed up, it actually started at 7. So I logged in 45 minutes late and was immediately lost.
I had no idea what this was actually for since the monotone trainer was droning on about how to encode searches for specific attributes in the inventory collection module. Perhaps if they'd actually started at 8 as was scheduled I would have heard more than "blah blah blah blah."
As it stands now, this seemed to involve all sorts of functions I will never be called upon to use in my job function.
By the time we got to the point in the training where we were supposed to begin the hands-on labs (none of which worked for me, of course), I was firmly of the belief that my organization's decision to abandon SCCM in favor of this piece of crap was definitely the result of one of those "hookers and blow" sales presentations and had very little to do with anyone actually thinking about why this would be a good thing.
I lasted another 30 minutes before giving up completely. Nothing was working and I was rapidly reaching my saturation point for this guy's voice. I downloaded the offline training materials intending to do this later and said fuck it. I'll deal with the repercussions of having bailed on this total waste of time if I need to—especially since it was the training company who fucked up and not me.
And then…then—after bailing—several hours later, I got this email:
From: Tanium Learning Center
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2022 1:57 PM
Subject: Tanium Training Complete (Survey & Certificate)
Mark,
Thank you for attending the Getting Started with Tanium training course. We hope the information and labs were informative and helpful.
-
-
-
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- Training Survey: Please provide any feedback, and help us improve our offerings by answering this short Training Survey [surveymonkey.com].
- Certificate of Completion: Your certificate of completion for this course is available at https://learn.tanium.com [learn.tanium.com] under 'My Transcript'.
Congratulations!
Tanium Technical Enablement
Note: This is a system generated message. Please do not reply to this email. If you have any questions, reach out to training@tanium.com.
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My certificate of completion?! Seriously?! But honestly, why does none of this surprise me?
Doin' Without
Okay, hive mind…what is this from?
Back in the Day…
We referred to this type of queen as, "Cigarette in one hand, cocktail in the other, and nothing in between."
What. The. Fuck.
A friend sent me this; no context, no comment.
My response?
Yup.
Caption This
Well Okay, Then!
Well Damn. Guess We Missed It.
I'm Sorry, and I Might Be in the Minority Here…
…but in no way is this even remotely attractive.
What in Gay Hell?!
We Were REALLY Wrong When…
https://twitter.com/HSchouten/status/1479465918980059136?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1479465918980059136%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.comicsands.com%2Fchansley-calm-crowd-january-6-2656254391.html
I read the article. Shaman is not only cray, he's cray cray.
Submitted Without Comment
And This Morning I Was Greeted With This…
Go home Algorithm, you're drunk.
No Thank You
I Just…Can't
Wait…What?
Art often makes us question the nature of our reality.
I Just…Can't
Fasten Your Seatbelts…
QAnon Believers Still Waiting for JFK Jr. In Dallas sing Michael Jackson's "We Are The World"
Yes, Qanon followers are still hanging around Dealy Plaza in Dallas, Texas, waiting for the reappearance of John F. Kennedy, Jr., who died in a plane crash in 1999, and have recently been filmed huddling together in the dark singing "We Are the World" by Michael Jackson. It's not entirely clear why they chose that particular song other than its general unifying message, but understanding why they're all Jackson fans requires a quick tour down the rabbit hole, so if you're not caught up yet, buckle up.
QAnon believers flocked to Dallas early this month due to proclamations from some internet posted who has become a leader within the"movement" albeit little fringe even for QAnon, claiming that JFK Jr. would appear there after faking his death to announce the end of the Biden administration. He was supposed to return from the dead on a specific night in order to crown Donald Trump king of the world or something like that, but when he didn't, the QAnon leader, Michael Brian Protzman, changed his mind, saying that he would appear at a nearby Rolling Stones concert.
When that didn't happen, the conspiracy theory quickly evolved to encapsulate many more dead celebrities. Not only didthe cultists theorize that Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards was actually JFK Jr. in disguise, having apparently spent the last 22 years learning to shred, but that in fact hundreds of celebrities have faked their deaths over the years in order to escape Illuminati contracts. These celebrities, including the late pop legend Michael Jackson, are now expected to simultaneously come out of hiding in order to make everything in the world right again.
"Robin Williams was here the other day, one woman told Rolling Stone at the beginning of November. "Michael Jackson is high in the movement."
More than three weeks after initially showing up in Dallas in numbers of
around 1,000 people, only about 100 remained to watch the anniversary of the assassination of the senior John F. Kennedy at Dealy Plaza come and go without his son showing up. They believed he would appear on Monday this time, but when he didn't they continued to wait around, holding up "Trump/JFK Jr. 2024" signs and eventually began their singalong, which seems to be turning into the world's weirdest tradition.
Some QAnon believers have even discussed setting up a permanent compound in or near Dallas in order to continue waiting for JFK Jr., because everyone knows how much cults love their compounds.
On Tuesday, a member of the Kennedy family responded to the QAnon antics in Dallas, praising a report by MSNBC anchor Brian Williams who encouraged people to feel bad for the family, which has suffered so many losses, rather than QAnon "cult members."
"Well said, Brian Williams," tweeted NBC anchor and cousin to JFK Jr. Maria Shriver. "He's right, you never get over these losses. I know many others struggle with theirs, as well. Go kindly into the days." Meanwhile, on Reddit, multiplecommenters are wondering if it's possible to get some good out of all this absurdity by having someone dress up as JFK Jr. to address the crowd and steer them toward conspiracy theories that would encourage action against climate change or just more general sanity.
[Source]
The Crazy Is Strong in This One
Notice the title of the DVD she's hocking…
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Isn't he creating space debris by launching "several hundred" more satellites?
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