I Will Answer Any Questions…
…except those related to abortion.
And Todd Akin.
And my years at Bain.
Also I will not be answering any questions about my family, my residences or my term as governor of Massachusetts.
Questions about my religion or my taxes are also off-limits, as are all questions about my vice presidential nominee's positions, my Party's platform and the entire Bush Administration.
Also no questions about droughts.
Future Mitt Jokes
Mitt Romney joked while campaigning in Michigan early Friday morning that "no one had ever asked to see his birth certificate."
The joke not-so-subtlely invoked the "birther" controversy. The Twitterverse is now abuzz with witty repartee, shooting jokes back at Romney which invoke his status as a wealthy, white bread, tax-dodging asshole.
Follow the latest #FutureMittJokes.
It's Not Worth Having a Stroke Over
Assume you're the overworked, underpaid, and totally disrespected I.T. guy at your company for a minute. Someone has just told you:
"Brandon needs a new phone number in the 801 area code for his cell phone."
What would you do?
I called Verizon and, using the automated system changed his number. This was to happen two days later at the beginning of the billing cycle.
I let Brandon know this was happening, as well as the new number assigned to his device. So far, so good.
Two days later I arrived at work to find five emails (the first one timestamped 5:45 am), and several panicked voicemails from Brandon. His phone is dead. He's heading to the airport in 45 minutes to meet one of our directors, and she has no way of getting in touch with him.
It turns out that he needed to do the *228 thing for his phone to be reprogrammed with the new phone—a little bit of information that the Verizon automated system failed to give me.
Once he did that all was well.
The following day, I got an email from Brandon asking if I could have his old number forwarded to the new one. "I've had that number for the last ten years and all my contacts know it."
Of course, when dialing that number now all they got was, "This number has been disconnected."
I told him I didn't think that could be done. We gave up that number when we transferred it.
Bzzzzzzt! WRONG answer!
In other words, "I don't understand the meaning of the word No," which has pretty much been the attitude of anyone in management regarding technology since I started doing this support crap.
Well, Brandon rattled some cages and soon the CEO's admin assistant was standing at my cube telling me she knew how to do it. "I used to do it at the law firm all the time."
Against my better judgment—because I had other fires burning just as hotly that needed attending to—I let her take care of it.
The day went from bad to worse. The admin assistant brought me back into the process at several times because she didn't have the authority to make changes on the account, and the moment I heard the Verizon rep say "deactivate white iPhone" I knew we were in trouble. I told the rep to stop the process and that we would be back in touch once everything was sorted out. Short version: the admin managed to get the CFO's brand new iPhone disconnected (which I had just delivered that morning) and Barry's old number reassigned to the CFO's old Blackberry.
We have 20 cell phone lines on our account. All of them are in use. What the admin assistant couldn't understand was that in order to reactivate the old number (and retain the new one) one of those other phones would have to be disconnected—which we couldn't do. "They put the old number back on the account. We just have to go down to the Verizon store and get a new sim card, right?"
I got on the phone with Verizon several minutes later, this time speaking to someone for whom English wasn't her second language, and explained the situation. She told me she could get the now-disconnected iPhone reconnected back to its original number and would then disconnect Brandon's original number.
The bottom line was the company needed to add a line in order to have Brandon's old number automatically forward to his new one.
Jeezus.
The Verizon rep told me it would take about 30 minutes to get this sorted out, and since I was already on overtime and at this point wanted to go home and get as far away from this bullshit as possible, I told her to just take care of it overnight and leave me a voicemail when it's sorted. I emailed all the interested parties in this drama and told them it would be fixed by morning.
Two fatal errors occurred in this process, one that I refuse to own, and one I will take responsibility for:
1. No one bothered to tell me that his old number needed to remain active. If they had, I could've advised them that we needed to add another line.
2. I should never have let the admin assistant get involved.
I arrived at work this morning to find a voicemail from Verizon saying that everything had been sorted out. The white iPhone had its original number restored, and that Brandon's old number had once again been disconnected. I checked the iPhone and it was working fine. I returned it to a very happy CFO as soon as she got into the office and even provided a little Apple training while I was there.
After receiving approval from the COO to add another line to our account, I called Verizon sales and—after explaining this whole sordid mess—added the line and arranged to have Brandon's old number assigned to it. We paired it with the CFO's old Blackberry that the iPhone had replaced—correctly this time—and it worked. I set up call forwarding, tested it, and all was right in the world again.
Or, apparently not.
I got called into my boss's office this afternoon and was told I had "an attitude problem" whilst trying to get this resolved. I'll admit I was flustered, and more than a little pissed off that the admin assistant had so totally screwed things up, but somehow it was all my fault that that this happened because I (as the CEO told my boss) hadn't considered the "business consequences" and the "potential loss of thousands of dollars" because the number had been changed without anything being put in place in regards to the old number.
Please. "Thousands of dollars?" Dude have you been smoking? Never mind. This is Colorado. I already know the answer.
I'm sorry. I'm not a mind reader. I did what I was told: "Brandon needs a new phone number in the 801 area code for his cell phone."
I was so angry when I left work today I could feel my heart beating in my chest. I'm calmed down now (lots of hugs and snuggles from my Bubba when I got home helped), but one thing is abundantly clear: I know is that this job and the petty egos there are not worth having a stroke over.
After we get moved, I'm looking for a new job—in earnest. I've had enough of this batshit and am ready to be done with it. For all the complaining I did about my last job in Phoenix, it was never this bad, and now I can easily understand why my former boss at my current company walked last April.
It's funny, but with all the preparations for moving, I realized the other day that in the past whenever I've moved to a new city, my initial living arrangement—and initial job—seldom lasted more than a year. The upside to that is the second of each of those two items have always turned out great.
Yes, Please
"But, but…
…it's Segoe, not Myriad Pro!"
Friday…on Drugs
Friday
Word.
What It Feels Like To Land on Mars
Fucking amazing. Be sure and expand it to full screen.
How to Destroy Your Organization's Reason for Existence in a Single Sentence
"Because you believe something is wrong, doesn't mean you make it illegal." ~ Brian Brown @ 47:55
After watching this, I am convinced Bryan Brown, Maggie Gallagher and the rest of these "protector of traditional marriage" buffoons will never move out of the 16th Century, no matter how many facts are presented to them.
And y'know, I kind of feel sorry for them, living out their pathetic little lives locked in such a rigid mindset, totally unable or unwilling to admit they're wrong.
Sad, really.
Instagram Hotness
"It's a Whole New Convention!"
Via.
A Note to the Dumbasses Out There
Aspire to Awesomeness
Aspire to Awesomeness
Mirror Mirror On the Wall (NSFW)
Truth Hurts
Monday
Here Comes the Whaaaaaambulance!
The billboards are being called "incendiary" by all the usual suspects, but personally I feel the time is long overdue for all bigoted, hateful religions to get a major public smackdown.
Mind-Numbingly Beautiful
The Apache Point Observatory in New Mexico, which uses something called "drift scanning" to document the vastness of the sky, has been snapping pictures of the heavens for twelve years as part of the Sloan Digital Sky Survey. The Survey's findings have been compiled into a 3D map of space, picturing 200 million galaxies and "7 billion years worth of cosmic movement." The map will get bigger, soon.
I don't know about you, but watching this full screen (and happening to be listening to one of the Doctor Who soundtracks when I first viewed it) almost brought me to tears. Keep in mind that each of those blobs of lights aren't stars—they're entire galaxies. How can anyone seriously believe we are the only sentient life in such vastness? The thought that there is so much life teeming in the darkness gives me chills. The Universe is so incredibly huge, even if reincarnation were a reality and we "visited" only a single world during each lifetime, we could never experience it all.
I am humbled by the immensity of it all, and makes the fact that the a group of clever apes on a grain of sand orbiting an insignificant speck of light are arguing over who they can love even sadder, doesn't it?
Put on some music that inspires you (preferably through headphones) and watch (be sure to expand to full screen):
"FRC's Own Activities Are What Brought This Down On Them"
I haven't written anything about the shooting at FRC Headquarters because frankly, the words eluded me. My first thought was, "Karma is a bitch," but I couldn't expand further on that thought. It comes as no surprise to me that an organization (indeed the entire Christian Right movement) that has been spewing hatred toward gays and lesbians finally gets hit with blowback—even if it came from a mentally unhinged individual—in the exact form of violence they've been not-so-subtly advocating for decades.
John Aravosis at AMERICAblog has written extensively on this topic, and his thoughts expand on the "Karma is a bitch" theme much more eloquently than I could ever hope to. For that reason I'm passing on his most recent post in full, here:
Classliberal2 writes in the comments to my earlier post about the Family Research Council and the recent shooting at its headquarters in Washington, DC:
The FRC is loudly claiming the "hate group" designation brought on this attempted massacre, and I think it needs to be pointed out, much more loudly and forcefully, that their own activities are, in fact, what brought this down on them.
People shy away from that, because they think it sounds too much like apologism for this would-be terrorist fellow, but there's no way to look at the history of the FRC and come to any other conclusion.
And even after something like this happens, which could have turned into a real horror, it didn't inspire one moment of pause or reflection on behalf of anyone there, no thought that maybe they'd gone too far and should tone it down — instead, they're off blaming someone else, so they can continue to do what they've always done.
The Family Research Council has decided to treat this tragedy as yet another opportunity to defame its victims. First, they blamed the shooting on the Southern Poverty Law Center for standing up to the Family Research Council's decades of hate and defamation against gay and trans people. Then they went so far as to blame President Obama for the shooting.
Since the FRC has been shameless in playing the blame game in an attempt to milk this tragedy for political benefit, then so be it. Let's do what they're demanding we do, and talk about whose rhetoric is to blame for the shooting.
First, the shooter is clearly to blame. And he probably has a screw loose somewhere (I don't care how hateful an organization is, picking up a gun and planning a shooting rampage (which is what I assume he was planning), which is almost certainly going to end up a suicide mission, is more than a bit screw-loose-y)). It's also interesting to note that it's difficult to remember even one recent act of violence that involved a gay person targeting the religious right – violence on our side simply doesn't happen. (Though, I'm not sure we even know the shooter's orientation.)
Second, the absurd availability of guns in our country (the shooter reportedly got the gun legally) is also to blame. We can thank conservative groups, the Republican party, and Blue Dog Democrats for making guns so easily available to nuts like this shooter, and the shooters in all the previous mass murders.
Third, since the Family Research Council wants to talk, incessantly, about what motivated the shooter besides insanity – about how, in the FRC's mind, words can absolutely positively push someone to violence – then let's talk about whether words could push someone to violence, including the Family Research Council's own words.
Is it possible, as the commenter wrote above, that the Family Research Council's own decades of hate and defamation against the gay and trans communities, and more generally the religious right's decades of defamation, finally pushed one of its victims, who was already unstable, over the edge?
Yes.
Does that mean that the FRC deserved to be shot at?
No.
But if the Family Research Council wants to make this debate about words inspiring violence, then let's have that conversation, and make it an honest conversation that considers their words in addition to ours.
The Family Research Council says that the SPLC, and the rest of us, called them a hate group and that that caused someone to open fire on the FRC. The thing is, the SPLC calls lots of groups hate groups, and you don't see people regularly opening fire on any of those groups. These include the Klan and white supremacists, who are pretty well-hated groups. Yet, there's little violence against them. Thus, the appellation itself does not historically seem to lead to violence.
Second, the FRC would like you to believe that calling an organization a hate group is enough to push someone to murder; but actually being a hate group, acting like a hate group, talking like a hate group will have no impact whatsoever on some unhinged person's decision to take up violence.
That's a bit naive (and I suspect the FRC is anything but naive). As I explain in this other blog post, the FRC is essentially blaming the SPLC for exposing the fact that the FRC is hateful. Are we really to believe that the shooter would have been fine with the FRC's hateful anti-gay words and deeds – would have been fine being repeatedly mislabeled a pedophile – had the Southern Poverty Law Center not also added the moniker "hate group"? Unlikely.
The thing is, it's not really news to gay people, and our allies, that the FRC is hateful. As victims of far right hatred for all these years, we knew about the FRC and its brethren long before the SPLC spoke out in 2010. So it's, again, naive to think that gay people, or our allies, were unaware of the Family Research Council's anti-gay rhetoric until the SPLC decided to call them on it. If we were motivated to violence by the fact that we thought the FRC was hateful, you'd think the violence would have happened long before the SPLC got involved because all of us thought/knew they were hateful the first time they wrongfully accused us of being pedophiles, oh so many years ago.
Second, the FRC is, in essence, (and pardon the cliché under the circumstances) asking us to shoot the messenger. FRC would like you to believe that even if someone didn't know about FRC's hate before, the fact that they learned about FRC's hate now via the SPLC, makes the SPLC responsible for any subsequent actions by any unhinged persons. I explain the logical fallacy:
Isn't it a bit like complaining, "Joe punched me because you told him I slept with his wife."
But you did sleep with his wife.
That doesn't mean Joe should resort to violence, ever. But you did sleep with his wife. So let's stop pretending that the sinner here is the guy who caught you.
The Family Research Council has made a business out of calling out "sinners," as they lovingly call us. Yet when they're called out for theirsins, their accusers are accused of inciting murder with their words, and told to STFU. So the FRC is saying that it's okay to intentionally mislabel an entire class of Americans as pedophiles, but it's not okay for the so-called pedophiles to say "stop."
Not only is the Family Research Council's anti-gay rhetoric so hateful that I think it could inspire one of its less-level-headed victims to violence, I also fear, and have said so many times before, that their hateful rhetoric could motivate one of their less-leveled-headed followers to violence as well. And it wouldn't be the first time "good Christians" took up violence against gays in order to be true to their God.
The Family Research Council has claimed for 20 years that gay men are after America's children – either to convert said children into a Satanic lifestyle of emptiness, disease and death; or we simply want to rape the kids, a lot.
Now, I'm not a parent, but I am an uncle. And if I met someone who wanted to rape, or kill, my nieces and nephews, God help him. That's all I'll say on the matter. The suggestion that such language might not inspire violence in the defense of children is ludicrous.
The Family Research Council, and more generally the anti-gay right, can't have it both ways. Either words can incite violence or they can't. Falsely labeling someone a bad person can either provoke violence, or it can't. The FRC would have us believe that our admonitions incite violence but theirs couldn't.
But if words can incite violence, then it's fair to examine all the words of all the parties to the dispute, not just the words of one side.
And if you examine what the Family Research Council, and really the entire religious right, has said – lied – about gay and trans people for the past two decades, not only is what they've said is far worse than what any of their critics have said in response, but their language is so hateful, so damning, so incendiary on its face (and false, which only makes it all the more incendiary), that I believe it's difficult not to consider the possibility that the religious right might share some of the blame for recklessly inciting the violence that finally, and sadly, unfolded this past week.
Ugh.
Here we go again.
It's been my experience that I rarely stay more than a year at the first place I move into in a new city, and Denver is proving to be no exception to that. Ben and I were both pretty fed up with this place and when presented with a $1000 a year rent increase we said, "Enough!"
Yes, it's convenient to our preferred shopping haunts, it's located roughly halfway between our respective workplaces, and we've become quite fond of the Starbucks that's a block away, but we just can't justify staying here, especially since we found a two bedroom place that's brand new and is going for what our increased rent would be if we stayed here in this one bedroom unit.
So why am I not champing at the bit to get packed, even though I am excited about the new place? Because I hate the process of moving. Once upon a time I looked upon it as a great adventure, but I'm long past that. The best thing I did when I reached my mid 30s was to start hiring people to load and unload the truck, finally zeroing-out the moving karma owed to friends. I'm rapidly reaching the point where I can justify the expense of having movers come in and do it all.
Right now I'm just keeping in mind that three weeks from now we'll be moved—and moved in—to the new place and this will all be nothing more than an unpleasant memory.
No.
The Romney-Ryan Plan for Seniors
Forget about being forced to eat cat food every day. That's going to be the Saturday night splurge!
Instagram Ink
I've Always Loved Teal…
Beef
It's what's for dinner.