I'm At That Point…

…in my job search that I'm getting really tired of the stupid.

I'm sick of recruiters who just do a word search without actually reading a resume or online profile and send job postings for which I am either entirely unqualified or aren't even in Information Technology.

This morning I got one for a Senior Systems Administrator at the Arizona Department of Homeland Security.

"Jega M" from Advent Global Technologies in Houston obviously found "Active Directory" in the skill set of my resume—but nothing else in the job description she sent—and thought she hit pay dirt. Too bad she didn't actually read my resume that has a 20 year history of only DESKTOP SUPPORT because I am DONE suffering fools gladly.

My response:

(a) It's obvious you emailed me today only because you did a lazy online word search and found some phrase in my resume that made you think I'd be interested in or qualified for this position. In this case I believe it's "Active Directory." I have NONE of the other required skills—much less a degree in Information Technology—that this position requires.

(b) I would NEVER work for DHS, and especially not under the current Administration. Call me old fashioned, but I don't think working for an agency that separates children from their parents and puts them in cages is a particularly inspiring career path.

The Miserable People

From John Pavlovitz:

Miserable.

Every time I see them, this is the word that prevails.

Whenever I encounter a supporter of this President on social media now, or scan the crowds at his propaganda rallies, or see his surrogates bloviating on talk shows or pounding upon pulpits, I am left with the same conclusion: they are a people bereft of joy.

There is no happiness, no benevolence, nothing life-giving left there.

The emotional deficit is continually on display:

In their contorted, sneering countenance; in their so readily brandished middle finger; in their steady spit shower of verbal filth. With each angry gesture and with every slandering epithet, they reveal in high-definition detail what it looks like when someone loses the light inside them.

War does this to the human heart. These people are at war with the world.

They're against gays.
They're against immigrants.
They're against Muslims.
They're against foreigners.
They're against scientists.
They're against atheists.
They're against Liberals.
They're against the Democrats.
They're against the Media.
They're against teenage shooting survivors.
They're against athletes and entertainers.

The world in their heads is composed almost entirely of enemies and adversaries—and as a result they are perpetually disgusted. If I had that many enemies to fight, I'd be unendingly pissed off too. I'd probably pity them a lot more if I didn't have to endure them.

These are the wildest of ironies: Their President is in the White House, their politicians commandeer the House and Senate, the Supreme Court is tilted In their favor—and yet they still manage to feel themselves oppressed, still picture the world unfair, still rage against a machine they've made and are part of. So many of them claim faith in Jesus, and yet live in almost polar opposition to his example.

The only time they do smile, is to reflect the arrogant, self-satisfied sneer of their leader; almost always in the face of someone else's heartache or misfortune, almost always when someone else loses something. They only joy they seem capable of manufacturing, is in response to pain.

I try to imagine what it feels like to be so afflicted with contempt for the planet: to be forever scowling, to be so viscerally sickened by the breadth of diversity around me, to be relentlessly in a fear-birthed battle posture—but I can't.

Thank God, I can't. If you can't imagine it either, consider yourself fortunate.

I realize that this has become the difference now; the dividing line in this version of America. It is between joyful people and miserable people.

There are those who live open-handed toward the world, and those whose fists are balled tightly; those who are driven by compassion, and those fueled by anger; those who want a bigger table, and those feel the table is exclusively theirs.

As disheartening as it is to witness people this internally toxic, it's a cautionary reminder of who we do not want to become, of what we can't let the fight do to us.

We have to fight to keep goodness inside us, despite the outside badness; to never be defined by how many things we hate.

I want my default response to this life to always be hope and not derision.

May we who oppose this national malignancy, never become so devoid of lightness that we resemble those who celebrate it.

May we never applaud someone's suffering, never weaponize our religion to do harm, never grow comfortable with hearts that are only capable of anger.

May we never lose our laughter, our softness, our lightness in this life, and let a smile come easily to us.

May we never become as miserable as those who support this President.

That is when we know we've really lost.

No Longer A Conundrum

I was wide awake at 3 am this morning. I almost sat down at the time to write this post and title it "Conundrum."

But that wouldn't have been necessary.

For the past few days I've been getting emails from recruiters concerning a "Config & Deploy Specialist" position. It came with a state req number and I had a sneaky suspicion that it was from my former place of employment. I returned one of the emails to verify this, and yes, indeed it was.

My first contract at ADOT was with the Config & Deploy department and I loved it. I adored my supervisor and coworkers and at one point actually—in all honesty—told my boss that I really enjoyed coming to work (quite something after having come from DISH).

And yet, my initial reaction to this new position was "Not only no, but HELL no!" if for no other reason the manner in which my last contract was terminated. But the more I mulled it over last night, the more sense it made to at least apply and see what happened. Though the new supervisor of the department was a bit of a dick, he'd praised my work with the Macs and working with my former colleagues again was a definite draw.

And oh yeah…the money was significantly more than I'd even been making as a desktop tech.

So at 3 am last night I resolved to call my previous supervisor first thing and ask if there would be any reason why I shouldn't apply for this newly available position in C&D.

I said I was asking her first because I still had no idea why my previous contract was terminated. Even then she still wouldn't tell me. Her words:  "I'll run it past Bruce and Bill since they're the ones who…and you'll be reporting to them, so let me get your number and if it's okay I'll let you know and if you don't hear from me…"

So that would be a no. I never had a problem with her, so I don't understand this reticence to be completely forthcoming as to the cause of my dismissal, but obviously it was more than just personnel shuffling or overstaffing and this silence points to the fact that it might not have been entirely above board.

And quite frankly just hearing her voice again gave me the heebie-jeebies, so fuck 'em. It truly is time to look ahead and move on.

On a more positive note, that removed the conundrum I might've found myself in.

During the past week or so I've been interviewing (2 phone, 1 video) for a short term contract installing and setting users up on a single sign-on solution project for one of the major hospital systems in Phoenix. When the description was first sent to me I swear it felt like it fell from heaven. It would get me back into a clinical hospital environment where I could come home each day feeling like I was actually doing something worthwhile for a change.

The downside is that it was only a 2 month, 32-hour-a-week gig. But it's paying nearly twice what I've been making, and that alone will get me out of the financial hole we're slowly sliding into. (And my friend Cindy, who retired from this hospital system said, "They'll never get it done in 2 months. I know those people.")

I'm supposed to hear back from them today or tomorrow. There are 8 positions total, significantly improving my odds of being selected. The agency's account manager listened in during the final phone interview with the client, and he said I did a great job.

Fingers, toes, and eyes crossed.

You Can't Reason With His Base

"Let's not be surprised when 35 percent or so of voters consistently tell pollsters that the president is the victim of a witch hunt or that they agree with every policy position and action he takes. Trump fans' politics is not the politics of rationality, considered judgment or empirical observation. Blind hatred and unthinking boorishness are not moderated by new facts or observable phenomena. We should stop marveling as his "success" in holding his base as if this were a reflection of his political skill, let alone the efficacy of his policies. Rather, the unbreakable and unblinking devotion of his unhinged base is confirmation that he now must rely on support from people oblivious to reality."

Trump's Tampa circus proves you can't reason with his base