Month: August 2021

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A Little…Yoke

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources – they're very good sources – that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the…thing in the…you know the rest.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

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Oops!

Took this accidentally the other day while trying to get a car selfie. I rather like it.

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Some Supernatural Musings I Ran Across Today

If you haven't watched or aren't a fan of Supernatural, you can probably just skip this one because it won't mean much…

Paraphrased (because grammar and punctuation are apparently not a thing anymore) from something I ran across in a Supernatural posting on Tumblr. I'm on board with this.

Ya know I've read fics where Mary mistakenly thinks Dean and Cas have a secret relationship, but I have a much more specific vision that I wanna see. Mary and Cas bond.  They are becoming real friends and she (in the most repressed way possible) alludes to being a lesbian and tells Cas that she's not a product of her generation; she knows things are different now and he doesn't have to hide anything. She's trying to tell him that she's okay with he and Dean being a couple. But Cas misunderstands it as her clocking him for being gay. He's kind of confused but mostly touched when he tells her "Thank you, Mary, i appreciate that," which she just takes as confirmation that Dean and Cas are together in secret. Later she says something similar to Dean which just short circuits his brain and he tells her "Uh. Cas? Cas and I aren't like that, Mom." to which she responds, "But he said you were." Dean replies with, "He…what exactly did Cas say?" and that's when Cas appears and eventually clears things up by saying "Oh I see. Mary.  There's been a misunderstanding. I thought you were just referring to me being gay," and Dean turns to him and says, "You're what?!?"

I think Dean would be totally overwhelmed at finding out both his best friend and his mom were gay at the same time and this would freak him out in completely different ways;  Cas being the most obvious. How did he not know his best friend was gay? Does this threaten already shaky heterosexual basis of their boy-best-friendship? Does Cas want to like, touch men?

Mary would be a whole other can of worms. Dean's understanding and view of his mother has already been rocked, but dear lord what does this mean for John? Did he know? Had she known? Had she always known? Was it a choice she made or was it God's plan? Dean inherited Mary's role. He's her mirror; he's a marycoded marygirl! Facing her sexuality, swirling in the back of his mind would be a just barely formed thought of "I got this from her too."

His first response would undoubtedly be angry disbelief and let's face it—Dean really doesn't have the capacity to conceive that it could be misconstrued as homophobia and not just the feeling of betrayal and confusion. I think it would be messy and would be one of those cases of Dean's emotions being so much and so impossible for him to examine that anger is the default response. I think he would grab his keys and take a drive to clear his head, leaving Mary and Cas alone to just look at each other wearing the same expressions of concern.

In the car, Sam calls and he picks up, "What? You calling to tell me you're gay too? Is everyone in this friggin family gay now?" and Sam just goes "… uh, no? I called because i have a…sorry…wait…who's gay?" and Dean simply hangs up on him and still has no idea why he's so angry.