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How Long…

…before someone just backs a truck into it and makes off with the entire assembly to disassemble at their leisure?

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It's Times Like These…

…that I miss San Francisco more than usual.

Opening today, the new T Central Subway line will begin weekend service between the 4th/Brannan and Chinatown – Rose Pak stations. This new line helps connect Chinatown, Union Square, Yerba Buena/Moscone Center, and SOMA. SFMTA

Each station is quintessentially SF with art installations throughout. Pictured here is "Lucy in the Sky" at Union Square/Market St. station. This permanent installation is part of the #IlluminateSF Festival of light

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The LED-ification of Rabbit Continues

Today was the front turn signals/hazard lights, completing the front end conversion. It was super easy since there was no coding required; just a matter of swapping out the bulbs and getting to them was surprisingly easy.

I'm still considering replacing the side wheel well trim lights, but those look like they'd be a bitch—especially the rear. Everyone recommends removing the wheels to ease the process, and ordinarily that wouldn't be an issue, but this would involve buying a jack (I don't have one since the car has run-flat tires all around), and I'm actually wondering if having that whole piece lit up would be too much bling.

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Classic

I always loved the look of AKAI gear, even though I never owned any. The company had the 70s brushed aluminum design aesthetic down to a T, but were different enough from the big players at the time to stand out.

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The LED Saga Continues

It started with the sidemarkers.

Then it was the puddle lights.

A year later it was the taillights.

And yesterday it was the headlights.

Rabbit came with basic garden-variety halogen headlights. Once upon a time, shortly after they arrived on the scene, halogens were da bomb. (I remember driving either to or from Phoenix/Tucson one night and was amazed at how much brighter they were in my new Toyota Corolla SR-5 than the ancient incandescent bulbs my Chevy LUV had.)

Then, after a few vehicular mistakes in the interim, 20 years later I got Anderson, my first MINI. Anderson was a dealer demo model that came tricked out with pretty much every option available. Anderson had self-leveling xenon headlights. Their brightness was like day and night compared to the halogens I'd had in every car since the Corolla.

The xenons were great, and I swore I'd never own another car without them.

They worked fine until February 2020. The pneumatic lifts that propped up Anderson's bonnet had lost their pressure, and I kept putting off replacing them. One day, after checking the oil or something, I forgot they weren't working properly and after removing the wooden dowel I had propped the hood up with, the bonnet crashed down. I didn't think anything of it until the next morning driving to work before sunrise and realized the xenons were now pointing down to a location about five feet in front of the car. (No wonder I couldn't see anything!)

They were no longer self-leveling. Something had broken in the mechanism when the hood went down. (The headlights themselves were built into the bonnet, not the body of the car.)

When I looked into the cost of having them replaced, my heart sank. I knew this—and the extensive (and expensive) cooling issues I'd experienced over the past year—were signs as much as I was loathe to give up Anderson, the time was rapidly approaching to find a new vehicle.

If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you know I came home with Rabbit about a month later, right before the lockdown hit in 2020.

I thought I could live with the stock halogens that came with the car, but over the past couple years with my advancing age, it was becoming more and more difficult to see at night, so I'd started driving with my fogs on. (Those at least were bright white LEDs.) I'd did a bit of research into replacing the halogen bulbs with LEDs, but there were so many contradictory discussions as to the wisdom of doing such a thing it seemed it was more trouble than it was worth.

But a couple weeks ago after I replaced the taillights, I thought, "Why the fuck not?" and dove back into it. Admittedly guilty of "doing my own research," I watched a few informative videos on YouTube, and finally decided on a pair of bulbs that looked like they'd be the best match for my car.

Unfortunately, the Cooper used in the video where these particular bulbs were installed was not the same year as mine, and the interior of the headlamp assembly was a different configuration. The bulbs I ordered and received would not fit. They were sent back.

Now undaunted, I found out what configuration was needed, and Amazon came to the rescue. It literally was plug-and-play but the post installation coding of the computer kept throwing me for a loop. No matter which voltage monitoring I turned off, the car was still throwing the headlight warning light.

I finally realized this morning that I'd missed toggling one high beam setting, and once that was done and coded, voila! no more errors.

And how do they look?

Lovely. Absolutely lovely. Just what I wanted.

 

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Because We All Could Use a Good Laugh

He is everywhere
In the heavens and Earth
He makes the stars shine
yet He cannot be seen
He is noble, abundant
and fills the Universe
He can lift you into the sky
and bring you down gently
He can take many forms
He can help heal
He can help kill
He can help create
He can help destroy
Praise be unto He
Helium

What are the 3 words a woman hates to hear during sex?
Honey, I'm home.

When someone says "I seen," I assume they won't finish that sentence with, "the inside of a book".

After I've completed a task that wasn't on my to-do list, I add it, then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

I would like a version of GPS that could say, "Would you like to make an illegal u-turn here to save 10 minutes of driving?"

Rose are red
Candles are lit
Do no harm
But take no shit

This coffee tastes like mud!
Yes sir, it's fresh ground.

Child to Dad: I learned a joke at school today.
Dad: OK, let's hear it.
Child: What goes in stiff but comes out soft?
Dad:
Child:
Dad:
Child:
Dad: It's a…
Wife running in from other room: SPAGHETTI! IT'S SPAGHETTI!

The dog: One day that mailman is going to murder all of you and I'll be like, ha ha ha, who needs to quit their barking and go lie down now?!

Me: I wonder how many reactions my meme got?
FB: Your account has been banned for 30 days.

I spent my childhood watching "The Sound of Music" and "Cabaret", so I really thought the rise of fascism would have more show tunes.

The gender-neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian.
(I need to win the lottery to be a glucose guardian.)

Kanye West: I can't believe how quickly I destroyed my career.
Elon Musk: Hold my beer.

Them: You're so quiet.
Me: I wish you were too.

As you get older, you begin to suffer a series of increasingly humiliating micros injuries.
"How did you hurt yourself?"
I slept wrong.
While I was driving, I happened to yawn while checking my blind spot.
I drank water too hard.
I sneezed.

Should you ever find yourself the victim of others people's bitterness, jealousy, lies, and insecurities, don't let it bother you.
Remember…
Things could be worse, you could be them.

Look at Elon managing Twitter.
Now imagine living on Mars and he controls your air.

Someone just said, "John Fetterman looks like if a union was a person."

Day 12 without chocolate.
I've lost hearing in my left eye.

When you've officially run out of excuses.
"I will likely be a little late because of who I am as a person."

(These were funny until I found out Boebert has pulled ahead.
I just checked again and she's up by 1000 votes with 99% reporting. Crap!
"Frisch's team had hoped that thousands of ballots remaining in Pueblo County would break in his favor but as elections officials there reported new ballot counts throughout Thursday, the congresswoman's lead grew instead. Pueblo County Clerk Gilbert Ortiz confirmed to The Denver Post that the results of the remaining ballots won't be published until late next week, likely Thursday.")

Lauren Boebert on Tuesday morning, "The red wave has begun!"
Lauren Boebert on Wednesday morning, "You want fries with that?"

Lauren Boebert's chances of holding onto her seat is falling faster than her husband's pants at a bowling alley full of minors.

Please allow children to believe in Santa.
You believe in essential oils and no one is ruining it for you.

Has anyone explained to Hershal Walker that "run-off" doesn't mean what he did to his kids?

In Athens, no one wakes before noon because Dawn is tough on Greece.

6 Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's pub when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead.
O'Conner says, "Oh, me boys, someone has to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?"
Gallagher says, "I'll do it, I'll be discreet, gentle, & won't make a bad situation any worse.
He goes to Murphy's house and knocks. Mrs. Murphy answers.
Gallagher declares, "Your husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home."
"Tell him to drop dead!", says Murphy's wife. "I'll go tell him," says Gallagher.

Post on Twitter: Pants were invented for men, not women. It's impossible for a woman to wear pants (jeans, yoga pants, dress pants, leggings, dungarees, etc) without sexualizing her body since they highlight her legs, curves, and rear end. Women who want to be modest should not own pants at all.
Response: That's a lot of words for "nobody will fuck me".

Hmmmmmmm…
Your reaction when you become an Uber driver and drop off a dude at your girlfriend's house.

I wondered why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.
Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
They blessed the rains down in Africa.

The King of France, The King of England, and The King of Spain are having an argument over who has the biggest penis.
Eventually, they decide to let the people judge. They all stand on a stage in front of the people and drop their pants one by one.
The King of France drops his and the French crowd shout "Vive la France!!"
The King of Spain drops his and the Spanish crowd shout "Viva España!!"
The King of England drops his, but there is a long silence from the crowd, and then everybody shouts "God save the Queen!!!"

Took my wife to the doctor today to sort out her Tourette's.
Turns out she doesn't have Tourette's.
Turns out I am a cunt and she really does want me to fuck off.

What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot?
Hallmark movies.

A blonde bought some water skis last year but has yet to try them out.
She's still looking for a lake with a hill.

A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy.
The guy takes off his shirt she says, "Oh what chest!"
"That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby."
Then he takes off his pants she says, "Oh what legs!"
He says, "That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby."
After that, he starts to take off his underwear.
The blonde girl starts running, he catches up to her and says, "Why are you running?"
She said, "I'm afraid of how short the fuse is going to be."

One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, ‟You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence.
The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. ‟You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras."
That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, ‟You know dear, if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener, and your brother."

Ask your doctor if medical advice from a commercial is right for you.

Boss: It's 10AM, you should have been here at 8!
Employee: Why, what happened?

Cowboys used to put a lantern on their saddle at night to help them find the trail.
This was early saddle light navigation.

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