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Sunday Humor

I miss you when you [18 Ar 39.948]. (Answer at the end.)

Kid: My dad says you spy on people.
Zuckerberg: He’s not your dad.

People will buy $300 worth of groceries and still stop for fast food on the way home.

Just spent $300 on a limousine and discovered that the fee doesn’t include a driver.
Can’t believe I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

My husband just told me, “sex is better on vacation.”
Not the best postcard I’ve ever received.

Have you ever read a comment on social media that made you click on the person’s profile just to see if they look as stupid as they sound?

Girls: I’m so fat. – Noooo, you’re beautiful!
Guys: Am I fat? – Bro, I have five fat friends and you’re four of them.

When a woman asks you to guess her age, it’s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.

Never run a marathon in bad shoes.
You will suffer the agony of defeet.

The four stages of a day off. (Or a typical retiree’s day)
1. Will do so much stuff.
2. Later I’ll do lots of stuff.
3. Eventually I’ll do some stuff.
4. Oh No!
5. (retiree) Tomorrow.

I asked my wife why we never have sex anymore.
“Speak for yourself” wasn’t the answer I was expecting.

My boss texted me…
“Send me one of your funny jokes.”
I replied…
“I’m working at the moment, I’ll send you one later.”
He replied…
“That was fantastic! Send me another one.”

Getting gas this morning at pump 3, I noticed the person before me bought $10 worth.
Where the hell were they going? Pump 4?

My desire to be well informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?

If only reading burned more calories.

The 5-second rule for food dropped on the floor doesn’t work if you have a 2-second dog.

Wedding night confessions…
Husband: “Honey I have to confess, I’ve slept with loads of prostitutes before I met you.”
Wife: “I just knew I’d seen you somewhere before!”

Aibohphobia is the fear of palindromes. Palindrome – A word spelled the same forward and backward. The guy that named the phobia was evil.

Me: I joined a carpenter’s class last week.
Friend: Have you made anything yet?
Me: We’ve only just begun.

I hate when people take my glasses and say “Wow you really can’t see!”
No shit.
I don’t take a random person’s wheelchair and say “Wow you really can’t walk!”

What if lollipops moaned every time you licked them?

The price of gas is so bad, I went into a station and asked for $5.00 worth of gas. The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.

Pulled out a nose hair today to see if it hurt.
Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the bus, it seems pretty painful.

We used to pay real money for ringtones and now if my phone makes a noise it ruins my day.

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course.
Me: Great, so your like really shitty at your job.

Not all who wander are lost.
Some are just looking for the scissors.
I swear I just had them, right here!

Quiet laidback men, why do you go for loud fiery women?
Someone has to tell the waiter I ordered mashed potatoes and it’s not going to be me.

When you ask for someone’s name, you’re essentially asking them what noise you should make to get their attention.

The reason I don’t like social media’s “memories” feature is that it shows me wearing the same shirt I have on right now.

Some poor, homeless fool is probably sitting next to a waterfall somewhere totally unaware of how angry and scared he’s supposed to be.

An 8 year old just asked why the tooth fairy doesn’t just dig up dead people to get teeth.

There’s an old law school saying that goes as follows:
“Those law students who get A’s in law school become law professors.
Those law students who get B’s in law school become judges.
And those law students who get C’s in law school become the working lawyers of the world.”
The saying never addressed, however, the law students who get the D’s and F’s. I always wondered what happened to them.
I have finally figured it out, though. Those law students who get the D’s and F’s in law school eventually go on to run for and serve in Congress.

I got my pet fly a tiny stopwatch. Now, my fly times.

I checked Kelley Blue Book today for my car’s value and it asked if the tank was empty or full.

I’m on a light diet. I eat by daylight, moonlight, and sometimes refrigerator light.

Website: We use cookies to improve performance.
Me: Me too!

Answer – Argon

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I’m Here All Week

Furthermore…

Bakers wear loafers.
Zookeepers wear crocs.
Angels wear wingtips.
Dogs wear hush puppies.
Surgeons wear Doc Martens.
Lumberjacks wear timberlands.

and finally…

Ice skaters wear slippers.

align: center;”>Thank you, thank you. I’m here all week. Please don’t forget to tip your servers!

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I’m Such a Geek

Lately my friend Cindy has been having ongoing issues with the Mac Mini she purchased while Ben and I were in Denver. It’s worked fine until right before the world locked down when it started slowing down to the point that it was nearly unusable. At the time, I backed up her data, wiped the drive, and reinstalled everything. That seemed to help, but a year ago it began taking upwards of five minutes to come online. She wasn’t using it that much. Her husband had a new iMac for the family business, and she decided to just get a new iPad at the time.

Last week she called me because she wanted to upload the remaining data off the thing so it would be accessible on her iPad. Problem was, the Mac wasn’t responding at all. She was able to get logged in, but then it locked up. I had her power cycle the machine and it then came back up with a totally black screen.

It sounded like something had died; I was hoping it was just the drive and I could pull it, slave it to my Mac and retrieve her data. The machine itself wasn’t that important to her; she had planned on giving it to her nephew once all her stuff had been removed.

When things first started slowing down initially I suggested pulling the mechanical hard drive and slapping in a solid state drive. To be honest, I was hoping that she didn’t want to do that because after watching videos on what was involved on getting the drive out of the Mini, I was intimidated as fuck. I’m a desktop PC hardware guy; I can pull one of those apart and put it back together in my sleep. But in the Apple world, I was sweating bullets just replacing the hard drive on my very first MacBook Pro.

Yet here we were. I knew I had to face my fears in order to get that drive out to troubleshoot further as it was coming up with a black screen when hooked up here as well.

Facing My Fears

Disassembling the Mini really wasn’t that difficult. My anxiety level was high, but mitigated somewhat by knowing that if I did screw something up, it was not that big a deal since if she couldn’t give the machine to her nephew as originally intended, it would go to the recycler.

Once I had the drive out, I connected it via a USB adapter to my Mac. It wasn’t even recognized.

I wanted Cindy to be able to still give the machine to her nephew, so I’d ordered a 256GB SSD a couple days prior to put in the machine. The worst part of the reassembly was reattaching the power supply cabling to the system board, but once everything was back together, I hooked it up to the television in our living room (the most accessible thing with a HDMI port because hooking it to my monitor would involve lots of cabling stuff I didn’t want to deal with). I powered it up and…flashing folder icon with a question mark.

Success! The power supply and system boards were both good. It was the drive itself that was causing the problem.

From there I was able to do an internet recovery to reload the OS. It even loaded Monterey, which was kind of a surprise.

Now that I’ve done the drive swap, I feel much more confident that I can do it again if the need ever arises.

Now the Bad News

Since the old drive wasn’t being recognized at all with my Mac, I tried slaving it to my work laptop running Windows. I could hear the platters spinning and the heads moving, so I knew there wasn’t anything physically wrong with the drive, and sure enough when I went into Disk Management on my Windows laptop, it showed up, along with it’s various partitions.

I fired up the Disk Utility on my Mac and reattached it there. After several minutes, it showed up, so I attempted to run First Aid. After churning for several minutes it told me I needed to boot into Recovery Mode and run the repair there. I rebooted into Recovery Mode and fired up Disk Utility again. At this point it wasn’t seeing the drive at all, so I called it a night and went to bed.

This morning it had appeared so I ran First Aid. I was not happy.

And of course, she had no backups. And I know her husband has no backup plan in place for his iMac, so we’re going to have a little talk today.

 

 

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An Unprompted, Uncompensated Product Endorsement

Can we all agree that getting old sucks? You reach a certain age and you discover that things just don’t…work…as well—or at least the same way—that they’ve done all your life.

Case in point, my left hip has started complaining whenever it was forced to move in a certain direction; that direction being primarily when I cross my legs to put on my shoes. I’ve taken to slipping my shoe on while standing and then leaning over my ample belly to pull it on the rest of the way (because it never slides completely in [“That’s what she said!”] and tie my shoelaces.

A couple months ago an ad popped up on my Instagram for shoes by a company called Kizik. I hadn’t heard of the company, but their product certainly seemed to address the difficulty I was having putting on my regular sneakers. (I don’t even own dress shoes at this point; the ones I did have were all deemed unsalvageable after the fire and I haven’t had any need to replace them since.) Being an Instagram ad, I was naturally skeptical based on previous experience, but it appeared they were shipped from the US by a startup company who had a decent return policy. They were a bit pricey—over twice as much as I usually paid for sneakers—but I figured they were worth a try.

The first pair I ordered were solid black in color, something I could easily wear to work (not that it really matters since we are very casual there). They arrived, I slipped them on, and I was in Heaven.

I don’t think I’ve ever worn more comfortable shoes. After thoroughly testing them out by wearing them to work every day I was in the office for the past month, I decided I also needed another pair for weekend/WFH days. Those could be more fun. I ordered the blue ones in the picture above.

They’re just as comfortable. For the past year or so when wearing my New Balance sneakers (a brand I’ve been wearing for at least the last decade) my feet would start begging around 2 pm to have the shoes removed. Not so with the Kiziks. Yeah, the Kiziks get shed the moment I get home like all my shoes do, but damn if it’s not a treat  just getting through a workday without having to slip my shoes off mid-afternoon!