Movies I Love to Hate

The Matrix Reloaded

I stumbled upon this mess today on TNT. I saw Reloaded originally on the big screen back in 2003, but I was so disappointed after seeing the original that I almost walked out of the theater on more than one occasion and haven't seen it since. But like a bloody wreck on the side of the freeway, when I happened upon it today I had to stop and look.

Like so many others, after I saw The Matrix I was thrilled to hear there would be two more films in the series. And I had such high hopes for those flicks. The original Matrix was of course outstanding, blowing everyone away by raising the bar on special effects and addressing several heretofore (at least personally) unexamined questions about the nature of what we call reality. The impression I got from Matrix II was that the writers and director only needed a bridge to get to the third act, and the easiest way to do that was to take all the good points of the original and just turn them up to mind-numbing volume, throwing all restraint and subtlety to the wind. I found it pretentious and just plain bad on so many levels: over-long fight sequences (especially the hundred Smiths in the ghetto school yard – hey, if fighting one Smith is good, fighting dozens has to be great, right?), the albino dreadlock twins, the existential mumbo jumbo ramped up to the n-th degree, and the completely unbelievable (even keeping in mind the characters by then knew how to "play" the matrix to its full effect) 101 freeway chase sequence that I didn't think would ever end.

It almost made me wish I was watching it on disk instead of on-air so I could fast forward though those parts.

In all honesty, I did end up flipping between Reloaded and episodes of Movin' Up on TLC (I think the host, Doug Wilson, is kinda cute and I love the way flirts with the gay couples that occasionally appear on the show), and finally abandoned it altogether during the last ten minutes to watch a bit of Breakfast at Tiffany's. Damn, George Peppard was hot back in the day. Sizzlin'. I had a thing for him even when I was a kid. (And he grew old damned gracefully too. Woof. We miss ya, George.)

The only thing worse than The Matrix Reloaded would be the bastard that followed it, The Matrix Revolutions. Ugh. Don't even get me started.

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