So I went to see that superhero movie everyone's talking about the other night.
To be honest, the only reason I did it was to hopefully get answers to the many questions I had after stumbling upon that other superhero movie on HBO several weeks ago. Ben had no desire to see it, and while I'm loathe to go to a cinema these days (it's not your personal fucking living room; corral your spawn, shut up, sit down, and behave yourself), Ben was attending another event and I figured it was a good a time as any.
Little did I know I was walking into another one of those seemingly never-ending movies where I found myself reaching for a non-existent remote to fast forward to the end about two-thirds of the way into it.
Yes, I got my questions answered, and as I suspected it involved time travel (of course), but JUST END THE THING FOR CHRISSAKE! Did they really need to get Thanos involved once again after finishing him off? Did we really need another planet-shattering battle where it seems every damned Marvel character in existence showed up? Did we really need the tearful [spoilers!] send off of Iron Man with—again—every Marvel character every created attending the funeral? Are there really that many unemployed actors, desperate for a paycheck, in Hollywood right now?
And is Tony Stark really dead? Did Robert Downey Jr. say, "Enough of this bullshit!" or will payments on his mortgage force him back into the red suit at some point?
It wasn't a bad movie per se, but it was ultimately disposable and way too long. I got in on a movie pass, so I didn't feel like I'd been cheated (if I'd actually paid the $11 admision fee I might've felt different) or that I'd wasted three hours of my life. I just didn't leave feeling…entertained.
And BTW, GET OFF MY LAWN!