Man of Meh

I saw Man of Steel yesterday. I know I'm going to catch a lot of flack for saying this, and based on the reviews that are pouring in it's obvious that I'm in a decided minority, but I wasn't thrilled.

It wasn't one of my "must see" summer movies, but since I had the day to myself and Ben had no desire to see it I took advantage of the situation.

I started yawning about half way through. Two hours into it I began checking the time on my phone.

For me, it was one of those movies that made me wonder if it was ever going to end, and more than once I thought about just getting up and leaving.

I have no problem with each generation feeling the need to put their own cinematic mark on our cultural mythology, but what annoys me the most about this continually re-telling is that these stories (which we all collectively know by heart) are never moved forward. I mean, how many Superman/Batman/Spiderman  origin stories must we endure without ever adding to the narrative? By now everyone knows how Superman came to be on Earth; how Spiderman was bitten by a rare and/or radioactive spider, and how Batman's deep-seated psychological issues stemming from the death of his parents led him on his path to become the caped crusader.

So why does this story have to be retold again and again? We know it. Let's go on with something new and original. God knows the original comics provide more than enough story lines to sell tickets.

Which reminds me…aren't we about due for another Three Musketeers reboot?

And—ducking—unlike the majority of my gay peers, Henry Cavill just doesn't get my motor running. Sorry, guys. He's decent enough looking (especially when bearded) and has a killer body in this film, but he's still far from leaving-a-wet-spot-on-the-seat hot in my opinion.

Being of a certain age, there will only be one cinematic Superman for me, and that will forever be Christopher Reeve.

And lastly, maybe it's because I'm getting old, but I'm also over all the gratuitous violence in these films. I've never been a fan of it, but I think Man of Steel really went over the edge and could've cut a full half hour of that shit and nothing would've been lost from the story. The time the final fight between Kal-El and General Zod occurred, I kept thinking, "Oh for Chrissake can we please wrap this up already?"

I give it a 5 out of 10. But then, I'm in a mood today.

4 Replies to “Man of Meh”

  1. I felt the way you did. The plotting was a mess (Clark learns his Kryptonian heritage and meets Lois all at the same time!), and the fight sequences tedious. The worst decision of all is to have Superman murder his foe – something utterly outside the hero mythology of the character. Also, if Zod is invulnerable, why does it work to snap his neck?

  2. I totally dug it, but I'm notoriously easy to please with superhero movies. I thought Henry was way better in motion than in still shots, same with his uniform. He's the first Superman in film with a body to match the comics. I will concede two points: origins and the destruction of Metropolis. The latter went much further than necessary. And the origins?

    Probably in this film–which was divorcing itself from the Donner/Reeve films–it was necessary. It set up a fairly new version of Krypton, and the Ma and Pa Kent stuff was in nice little nugget sized flashbacks. But in general (such as in Incredible Hulk and Amazing Spider-Man, both reboots of recent films), I think we should be DONE with the origin stories of familiar characters. They should do it like the James Bond films, keep a loose continuity, allowing new actors and directors to tweak things here and there without being a slave to what came before. Fanboys might revolt, but if it's a good movie, it won't matter.

  3. I certainly enjoyed the beefed out Henry Cavill. Also enjoyed the Tahmoh Penikett appearance (and Lt. Gaeta – *UGH!*) That said, I wasn't really a big fan — at first I thought it was just my general beef with the DC Universe. I felt the same way about the final fight with Zod — completely unnecessary. I'm sure this will be considered a successful reboot, especially compared with the Brandon Routh attempt… but unlike JJ Abrams's reboot of Star Trek, it's an update that didn't really capture the spirit of the original, and that's a huge mistake in my book. It's plenty of beef and no heart, and that's a shame.

  4. He's one of those "hot when the angles and light are right" guys. He's good-looking but not handsome and without his body, I think he would be considered average by most. Can you imagine Christopher (I liked the 1st one too and Brandon just stuck with a crappy everything) with his body!!?

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