I post a lot of memes about being an introvert, but truth be told, I am an introvert—or at least I've become one.
It wasn't always this way. I mean, I've always been on the shy side, but in social settings I was at least able to put myself out there and actually enjoyed being out and about and among my fellow humans whether I knew them personally or not. Back in my 20s and 30s I went out clubbing on the weekends, and readily accepted dinner, movie, and party invitations from friends.
I was also a bit of a whore, which doesn't come easily (no pun intended) to introverts.
But as I've gotten older—especially since the arrival of COVID and I saw what selfish, inconsiderate assholes at least a third of Americans are when push comes to shove—I've reached the point where I just don't want to deal with the masses of humanity any more. Crowds in general never really bothered me, as evidenced by my attendance at concerts, marches, and SF pride events until I simply got tired of them, but now I will do anything to avoid them. Looking back now, the COVID lockdown was a little slice of heaven.
Thankfully Ben—who does not share this aversion to the unwashed hoards outside our door—nevertheless understands my discomfort and does everything he can to prevent us from having to deal with them on more than a very limited basis.
My father became a bit of a recluse the older he got, something at the time I found odd, but—ironically—I am coming to understand quite well as I myself get older.
If I could put my thoughts into words…this!
Mark,
Thank you for putting this into words. They feel so relatable to me it's almost like I heard myself thinking when I read them. Set aside the partner – sorry, husband that I do not have, you just described my life as it's become for the last years. And frankly I too am way past feeling apologetic about it.
Wish you and Ben the very best – and please give a pat to your beautiful labradoodle from an oversea friend.
Laurent