Sorry, No Tiedrich Today
I read through it and just couldn’t.
You’re welcome to read it all for yourself directly from the man himself if you’re so inclined.
365 Days Of UNF: January 3rd
I Was Only 11…But I Remember 1969 Being WILD
Sammy Davis Jr. – Rhythm Of Life (1969)
My First
Tucson, 1980. But mine was chocolate brown.
Hey Daddy…
…you need some help with that?
LOSER
Could It Be TRUE?
Friday Tiedrich
are you sitting down right now? I sure hope so, because here’s some shocking news: it turns out that the guy who lied to us about bone spurs, and lied to us about hush money, and lied to us about his Ukraine phone call — and about a hurricane and covid and the election and his height and his weight and his golf scores and how tariffs work, and about thirty thousand other things — has been lying about his health.
I know, right?
apparently, Donny got wind of the fact that the Wall Street Journal was going to commit a wall-street-journalism by documenting all the ways in which Dear Leader is falling apart physically — and he reacted in the most Donny way possible: he phoned the Journal and started whining about how unfair they’re being to him.
In an impromptu phone interview that came after the Journal shared details about its reporting with the White House, the president expressed irritation about the public debate over his health. He has grown upset with his own White House staff for not promoting him as more vigorous.
spoiler alert: this whole ‘interview’ is just Donny lying his big dumb pumpkin face off, spewing the usual fever-swamp hallucinations about how he’s super fucking healthy — healthy like no one thought possible, maybe the healthiest person ever.
“My health is perfect,” he added.
whatever you say, President Rottinghand.
speaking of which, we’ve got it all wrong about Donny’s rotting hand. those bruises, apparently, happen because Donny’s been gobbling aspirin for decades.
The large dose of aspirin he chooses to take daily has caused him to bruise easily, he said, and he has been encouraged by his doctors to take a lower dose. But Trump has declined to switch because he has been taking it for 25 years. “I’m a little superstitious,” he said in the interview.
oh please, the only thing of Donny’s that ‘bruises easily’ is his paper-thin ego. but do tell us more about your crackpot theories of medicine, Mister Windmills Give You Brain Cancer — we can’t get enough of that shit.
“They say aspirin is good for thinning out the blood, and I don’t want thick blood pouring through my heart,” Trump said. “I want nice, thin blood pouring through my heart. Does that make sense?”
Donny wants nice, thin blood like no one thought possible — and he asks us if that ‘makes sense,’ not wanting thick blood gumming up the works.
of fucking course it doesn’t make any sense. don’t take my word for it. let’s listen to an expert. Dr. Jonathan Reiner was Dick Cheney’s cardiologist for thirty years, so I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s talking about.
“when we use any anti-coagulant, medications to prevent clotting, those don’t thin the blood. it’s not like changing something from gumbo to chicken soup. it doesn’t make it thinner, it makes you less likely to clot. it used to be that we would treat a lot of people with aspirin therapy to prevent heart attacks — but we’ve learned in recent years that particularly people over the age of 70, not only is there no benefit in terms of just primary prevention, trying to prevent a cardiac event by giving them aspirin, that there can be hazard.and the hazard can be bleeding. significant bleeding. so here’s the interesting thing about this. the president is apparently is taking 325 milligrams of aspirin per day, which is essentially one adult size aspirin tablet. but the dosage that we use for patients, even with documented chronic artery disease, is a quarter that. 81 milligrams per day. so why is the president taking an unorthodox dose of aspirin? the media has published many photos of his right hand, and now maybe his left hand, with his chronic bruise, and the White House has said that this is related to chronic aspirin therapy. so if you’re bruising a lot, and your doctor says you’re on too much aspirin, why wouldn’t you go down to a lower dose?”
ooh ooh! I know the answer to the doctor’s question: it’s because Donny’s a fucking imbecile who is serenely convinced of his own imaginary genius. he know more about doctoring than all the doctors.
of course Donny isn’t going to take the recommended dosage (which isn’t even recommended any more). small pills are for losers. real men chow down on the big-ass kind. so naturally Donny’s going to take the aspirin that goes up to eleven.
meanwhile, the White House is sticking to its ‘Donny’s fist is mangled because he shakes a lot of hands’ fairy tale — but even Donny’s own toadies know that’s a load of shit.
His physical signs of aging are becoming more evident to some of his closest advisers. His skin is so delicate that Pam Bondi, now his attorney general, caused his hand to bleed when she nicked him with her ring while giving him a high-five at the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee.
in fact, Donny’s left hand recently appeared to have a hole in it.
so, who is Donny shaking hands with that he’s ended up with punctures on the back of his hand? Wolverine?
Trump said he applies makeup to his hands after he gets “whacked again by someone.” He added: “I have makeup that’s, you know, easy to put on, takes about 10 seconds.”
if it takes Donny ‘ten seconds’ to cover his hand, I wonder how many seconds it takes him to spackle his face.
I’m guessing five.
obviously, we’re being lied to. no one is shaking Donny’s hand to the point where the fucking thing looks like someone slammed it in a car door. Donny has clearly been repeatedly receiving intravenous fluids for kind of ailment that they’re hiding from the public. it’s an insult to our intelligence for the White House to insist otherwise.
hey, here’s something else we’ve been getting wrong about Donny. he’s not a narcoleptic fart factory who chronically saws logs in public. he’s just relaxing his eyes.
“I’ll just close. It’s very relaxing to me,” he said in describing shutting his eyes. “Sometimes they’ll take a picture of me blinking, blinking, and they’ll catch me with the blink.”
you know, like he relaxed his eyes at the Pope’s funeral.
who among us hasn’t momentarily relaxed their eyes to the point where their mouth falls open and their entire body goes slack?
oh look, Donny and the White House are once again lying to us about every fucking thing.
when is an MRI not and MRI? apparently when it’s a CT scan, that’s when.
He has for weeks said that he underwent an MRI at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in October. When asked about the procedure by the Journal, Trump and his doctor said he got a different form of imaging: a CT scan. “It wasn’t an MRI,” Trump told the Journal. “It was less than that. It was a scan.”
Navy Capt. Sean Barbabella, Trump’s doctor, confirmed in a statement to the Journal that Trump had received a CT scan.
what in the actual fuck? after weeks of Donny and his flunkies telling us that he got an MRI, now it’s a CT scan? and even the doctor who released that farcical ‘summary’ about Donny’s MRI is now on board that it was a CT scan?
do you think maybe Dr. Barbabella could go on record and explain to us why, if we were all mistaken about which procedure Donny underwent, he didn’t correct us, y’know, two fucking months ago?
The White House declined to make Barbabella available for an interview.
oh. huh.
we’re either being lied to now, or were lied to then. I’m not sure which is the better scenario.
for the umpteenth time, Donny’s handlers are feeding us some some fairy-tale shit-sandwich about Dear Leader’s health — and we’re expected to shut the fuck up and swallow it wholesale.
I’m sorry, but this guy is not well.
look, Donny is suffering from a lot of shit. he is clearly not up to the rigors of presidenting. he disappears from public for days at a time, without explanation. he’s tired. he’s confused. his memory is shot. he can’t tell fact from fiction. he’s hard of hearing. his hands are rotting and his cankles look like they’re about to explode.
that’s a whole lot of pathologies. let’s put them all together and call it fuckbrainscabosis.
We the People have a right to know what’s going on. Dear Leader’s handlers need to stop jerking us around, and release Donny’s complete medical records. tell us why he got an MRI, or CT scan, or whatever the fuck we’re calling it today. and how about explaining to us once and for all how his shot-to-pieces ear magically regenerated itself.
and — as long as we’re calling for releasing stuff — let’s go. Dead Pedo Bestie Files. snap it up already.
Zohran Mamdani was sworn into office yesterday as Mayor of New York — and here’s one of the very first things he did: he issued an executive order shitcanning a metric fuckload of previous mayor Eric Adams’ executive orders.
“He has wiped off the books EVERY Eric Adams executive order issued on or after September 26, 2024, the day Adams was indicted on federal bribery charges.”
this is how it’s done — and I certainly hope that the next Democratic president is paying close attention.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
“Fine Art Prints”
Right?!
That Looks Like An OSHA Violation
I’d Like Some Feedback
Apparently I’m at 82% of my allotment (100GB) of disc space under my website’s current hosting plan. While not a pressing issue immediately—and realizing it’s taken me twelve-plus years to get to this point (although my usage has increased over the years and just in 2025 alone I used 11GB*)—at some point I’m going to have to decide what to do about it. Based on this past year’s usage, maybe not next year, but definitely sometime in 2027.
In the meantime I’m going to start posting all images in .webp form to save space—as much as I hate that format and it requires an extra step on the back end.
So I’m asking my readers for your input. If I want to keep my current plan, I’m going to have to delete stuff eventually. Should I go back and delete the first few years of the blog’s posts and pictures, or should I wipe the whole thing and start fresh when I reach the inevitable “disk full” message?
Or should I be proactive as that day draws near and upgrade my hosting plan?
Obviously not ideal, as you can see…
*damn, that’s a lot of pr0n and Trump memes! (I actually used 15GB each year from 2022-2024, so it’s actually down.)
And We’re The Snowflakes?!
It’s Always Interesting…
…as a devotee of this stuff to stumble upon reviews/ads from back in the day for equipment I own now.
I Wouldn’t Change The Layout…
…but I would expand the dimensions by a few feet in all directions, throw in a second bathroom to get a master suite, and find some place for a laundry room. But I do like the overall “feel” of the house.=.
Released 47 Years Ago Today
Suzi Lane: Ooh, La, La (1979)
Setting The Tone
Since He Has To Put His Name On Everything…
Apparently I’m Not The Only One With Obesssions…
Right?!
Because It’s True
He’s Not Wrong!
365 Days Of UNF: January 1st
It’s Worth A Try
My Year In Pictures (With Commentary When Necessary)
My obsessions—and the souls I hold near and dear to me—this year are abundantly clear.
WARNING: LOTS of Minidisc-related pictures ahead.
“Get In There”
The Year In Stupid From Tiedrich (Part 3)
as another stupid year comes to a close in America, let’s remember some of the dumbest fucking shit that happened.
note: this is a long post. some email apps — gmail in particular — may truncate it. if this happens to you, click “view entire message” or “view in browser” or go here to see the entire post.
September 8: I meant to do that
folks, if you’re MAGA, and you’re determined to mace the shit out of protestors who showed up to an anti-ICE demonstration, it helps to know which end of the doohickey the spray comes out of.
spoiler alert: yup, she maced herself — and not in the performative Nancy-Mace-beclowning-herself-in-front-of-a-unisex-bathroom way.
she did it in the very, very bad oh-my-god-my-eyes-my-eyes way.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR LACK OF ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER, UNKNOWN MAGA DIPSHIT.
you helped our post get off to a great start. ten out of ten. no notes.
September 15: peak Kirk
in the wake of Charlie Kirk’s murder, big strong conservatives, tears in their eyes, have been falling all the fuck over each other in a mad dash to lionize Charlie as a great man. one of the greatest men. a man like no one’s ever seen before. a man like no one thought possible. possibly the greatest man of all time.
folks, get ready — because the canonization of Charlie Kirk has reached Peak Stupid.
Texas Rep. Troy Nehls: “Charlie Kirk was a man of faith, first and foremost. he loved his Lord Jesus, he loved his family, beautiful wife, beautiful children. just a remarkable, honorable man that was silenced with this assassin’s bullet. I would say if Charlie Kirk lived in the biblical times, he’d have been the 13th disciple.”
I’m going to have to disagree with Rep. Nehls, because I’m pretty sure that had the Kirkster lived in biblical times, he’d have been one of the Four Horsemen of the Shitpocalypse. Grumpy, Dopey, Sleepy, and Charlie.
but that’s just, like, my opinion, man.
nonetheless, get ready to rejoice — because right now, Charlie Kirk is up in Heaven, fronting a band that I certainly hope is called Jesus and the 13 Apostles.
it must be pointed out that the creator of this nightmare fuel, Simon Hedges, is most certainly not a wingnut, and produced that image as a goof. however, that didn’t stop the internet from doing what the internet does best: fail to recognize a joke.
by the way, after I’m finished writing today’s post, I will be sending an angry email to myself demanding that I fire me for being insufficiently respectful to Charlie Kirk.
September 18: I never forget a face
it’s easy to forget, given the firehose of fucknuttery that is our current timeline, that DOGE is still a thing — and that a certain three-toed freak of nature chairs an entire House subcommittee about it.
that’s right, Congresswoman Sporkfoot is still holding pointless hearings, where she drags in some poor unfortunate expert and harangues them about whatever batshit is seeping from her head.
Marjorie Taylor Greene: “did man create the Ice Age?”
witness: “no”
Greene: “right. so none of were alive back then to know for sure.”
Congresswoman, are we sure about that, that none of us were alive back then? I’m asking because the Museum of Confluences in Lyon, France, features an exhibit on Neanderthals —
and there’s a woman in that exhibition who looks pretty goddamn familiar.
so I want to ask you again, Congresswoman, are you sure none of us were alive back then?
remember, you’re under oath.
October 1: give that skateboard the Nobel Peace Prize
this was one of the shittiest years ever, so let’s just enjoy Fox News’ own dunk-tank clown, Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand, flipping a skateboard into his own nuts, on live TV.
oy my god, that sure looks like it hurt like fuck — so let’s savor the moment, and gif that shit for all eternity.
chef’s kiss! let’s zoom in.
suck it up, Warrior Boy.
and mad props to the kid behind Kegstand, who absolutely could not give one shit that the Secretary of Self-Owns just neutered himself.
October 10: the sounds of silence
now let’s enjoy six-hundred-and-forty-nine-year-old Chuck Grassley forgetting how electricity works.
[ten seconds of silence, as Grassley’s mouth moves, after which Lindsey Graham reaches over and turn on his mic] “I forgot to turn on my microphone. let me start again.”
I know, that’s pretty fucking funny — but let’s cut Chuckie Gee a break. as you know, he was first elected to the Senate in 1782 — and the US Capitol building wasn’t electrified until 1910. you know what they say about old dogs learning new tricks.
I gotta tell you, though: those ten seconds, when Chuckles was flapping his ancient gums and no sounds was coming out — those were the most peaceful ten seconds of my entire life.
October 20: hey Donny, I can see the Epstein Ballroom from up here
oh, how cuuuuute! someone strapped Secretary of Defense Flippy McCrushnuts into the child seat of a fighter jet, and took him for a joyride.
let’s be crystal fucking clear about this: Pete Kegstand was a passenger. no way was he flying the plane — not with his blood-alcohol level.
of course, the Department of Defense went out of their way to crop that video in a way that implied Piss-Drunk Pete was piloting that jet — because that’s what you do when your SecDef is a banty rooster with a paper-thin ego in need of constant affirmation that he’s something other than a two-bit Fox News weekend chat-show dunk-tank clown.
Bob Clendenin, can you please explain to the nice people why no one with a functioning brain should be impressed by this ridiculous public relations stunt?
sure, but you know doesn’t have a functioning brain? MAGA, that’s who. those dumbfucks immediately started punching the air and going ‘Kegstand, fuck yeah!’
Community Notes, could you please explain to MAGA what they’re too dim to grasp on their own?
coolest SecDef ever? absolutely not. drunkest, maybe.
October 29: blessed are the joyless scolds
here’s a grand October tradition: Christian evangelicals shitting all over Halloween.
Amanda Grace: “so, I want to speak to these people that want to take part in these ceremonies today. that want to take part in horrific wickedness today. you are nothing more than a slave to Satan and his kingdom. he hates you, he cannot stand you, because whether you like it or not, you’re made in the image of God. and you are just a means to his end. you are a slave to his exploits. you are in bondage to do his bidding.”
lighten the fuck up, Francis.
holy shit, lady. I just wanted to dole out some candy to kids.
I’m pretty sure Satan has more important stuff on his plate right now, what with an entire White House to run.
seriously, could evangelicals please shut the fuck up already and let the rest of us have our fun? it’s not our fault that you can’t find joy in anything, so stop shitting all over ours.
November 13: first they came for whatever the fuck this is
Florida Rep. An Appalling Lunatic went on Newsmax and — [taps earpiece] hold on, I’m being informed that the Florida rep’s name is actually Anna Paulina Luna. goddammit, I keep making this mistake. sorry about that, Anna. let me start over.
Florida Rep. Anna Paulina Luna went on Newsmax and did what she does best: blithered like an appalling lunatic.
Newsmax: “you’re on the record talking about, quote ‘non-human life-forms that could be interdimensional beings who are visiting us.’ can you just explain more, so people at home might know what that means.”
Lunatic: “yes, so that’s definitely a mouthful, but that is directly based on information that we received from witnesses. also information that we have obtained and witnessed via our investigations. there is some stuff that I can’t disclose what I have immediately seen in some of these SCIFs, but what I will tell you is, this is not some crazy conspiracy theory.”
spoiler alert: yes is it. it’s a crazy conspiracy theory.
I’d like to ask Anna if these interdimensional beings are in the room with us right now, but I’m afraid that she’d respond ‘yes, they are. duh. can’t you see them?’
this is why An Appalling Lunatic got herself elected to office — not to help her constituents, or to make anyone’s life better — but, apparently, to get to the bottom of whatever the fuck this is.
November 20: as what’s-his-face is my witness
holy moly. according to ‘prophetess’ Kat Kerr, God is using her as a vessel, and literally speaking through her right now. you can tell, because she’s doing her best to lower her voice and get all projecty and stuff.
“and I sit as the high judge. NO ONE CAN IMPEACH ME. AND NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO IMPEACH TRUMP. I HAVE APPOINTED HIM— ANOINTED HIM. HE IS MY PRESIDENT FOR AMERICA, AND WILL BE SO UNTIL I AM FINISHED WITH HIS ASSIGNMENT.”
I’m kinda skeptical. if the Omnipotent Big Guy in the Sky were actually speaking through Kat, I’m pretty sure he’d know the difference between ‘appointed’ and ‘anointed.’
hey, I can also pretend that God is speaking through me. all I have to do is type in all caps. watch: HEY KAT, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
November 26: u wanna b what?
folks, please meet the Department of Homeland Security’s acting chief security officer, Iwona B. Horyn.
yes, that’s really her name.
she’s right there on the DHS web site.
and please, let’s not mock Iwona for it. she didn’t choose her name, and there’s no doubt in my mind that she’s already endured a lifetime of teasing.
but there is one thing I’d like to ask Ms. Horyn’s parents.
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?
why didn’t the person filling out the birth certificate snatch the baby out of Mother Horyn’s hands and say ‘you can have her back when you come to your senses.’
we don’t know how Iwona feels about any of this. she’s not saying. neither is her husband, Hugh G. Rection.
December 2: blessed are the gullible
podcast bro Joe Rogan’s whole deal is that he’s a credulous meathead. he’ll sit there like a lump as some raving conspiracy loon barks out the batshittiest fever-swamp hallucinations imaginable — after which Joe will nod his head, take a long drag off a joint, and go ‘huh. I didn’t know that.’
but Joe’s not above making his own nonsensical high-as-fuckpronouncements.
“Jesus was born out of a virgin mother. what’s more virgin than a computer? if Jesus does return, even if Jesus was a physical person in the past, you don’t think he could return as artificial intelligence? artificial intelligence could absolutely return as Jesus.”
I think it’s high time (see what I did there?) for Joe Rogan to put down the joint — because I’m pretty sure he meant ‘Jesus could absolutely return as AI.’
this unknown twitterer says it far better than I ever could.
as someone who attended high school in the early 1970s and had many friends with older brothers, I can confirm that this is 100% true.
December 22: always be grifting
we should check in with Erika Kirk, the widow of misshapen garden gnome Charlie Kirk. she’s been though some shit lately. what’s that, Erika? you’ve got a ‘holiday season message’ for us?
“HOLIDAY MESSAGE: @MrsErikaKirk shares her — and what would have been Charlie’s — holiday season message: ‘Just rest…Love on your babies. Love on your family members. Life is short.’ Find Charlie Kirk’s final work, ‘Stop, in the Name of God,’ at http://45Books.com.”
hang on, did Erika actually end that message with a book plug? oh yes, she fucking well did!
so, apparently, the five stages of MAGA grief are denial, anger, podcasting, publicly making out with JD Vance, and selling merch.
just in case Erika Kirk profiting off her husband’s murder doesn’t creep you out enough, here’s another fun thing the Garden Gnomists™ have done.
yup, they’ve recreated the tent where the misshapen gnome was assassinated — and the cultists are all invited to take selfies in it. how fucktacularly ghoulish is that?
you know where they got this brilliant idea to fetishize tragedy, don’t you? from Dear Leader, who has turned an entire wall at the White House into a shrine to his Miracle Ear Nicking.
who the fuck does that?
that puts a wrap on 2025, folks. have a non-stupid New Year’s Eve!
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
365 Days Of UNF: December 31st
Well guys, we somehow made it through another year.