Author: Mark Alexander

About the same time the gears were grinding with the possible job at the architectural office, I was called back by a recruiter who’d sent me to the interview at a certain health insurance company shortly after all this started back at the first of July. It was for a relatively brain dead imaging and deployment job, but I thought I did fairly well in the interview. Of course nothing came of it, because—as I’m learning—age discrimination in the I.T. workforce is a very real thing.

Said recruiter told me that the health insurance company had decided they needed an additional body for the next six months and had asked if I was still available. Hey, second choice is better than none, right? But I put them on hold for a couple days, hoping the architectural gig would come through.

I called the recruiter back before I’d heard definitely anything one way or another on that job just to give her a heads up that I was interested if the other gig fell though.

Long story short, the IT Director wanted a “quick chat” with me (even though I’d spoken at length with him two months ago). I found this a little odd, but I spoke with him last week and he asked if I’d be willing to come into the office for another in person interview.

I said I wouldn’t mind, figuring it was just going to be a chance to meet him face to face (he’s based in the Louisville office) before being offered the job. After all they called me, not the other way around.

Well, I went in to the office today and learned it wasn’t just a routine meet-and-greet. It was a whole other interview with him and the other member of the Phoenix team who’d been out the day I initially went in. THEY’RE STILL SHOPPING. His parting words were, “Great to finally meet you. I have three more in-persons to complete and I’ll let your recruiter know our decision Monday afternoon.”

I’m just DONE at this point. I won’t say I’m giving up because I can’t, but I am definitely stepping away from this madness for a few days. I’ve already started automatically deleting any and all emails coming in from off-shore recruiters because nothing has ever come from a single one of those contacts.

To this leave this post on a little more positive note, I’m getting some business cards printed. My friend Cindy convinced me that I need to start marketing my skills on a freelance basis. She said all the old folks out on her side of town would appreciate finding someone who actually knows their shit and would more readily trust someone referred by a friend to come into their homes and work on their computers than someone they might’ve found online.

So maybe I’ll end up self-employed? It’s not like I’d be losing any employer-paid benefits at this point anyway…

Okay, I admit that I get recruiter emails for jobs that I just don’t want because of a horrific commute or because I lack the proper skill set, but the jobs themselves are at least tangentially related to I.T. support.

But not this one! It was so far out there that I have to repost it. It was obvious the dude didn’t even bother READING my resume, but instead—like so many of his offshore brethren—simply did an automated word search, made a hit and fired off this absolutely ridiculous email without bothering to read further. And to be clear, NOWHERE on ANY of my profiles on the job boards I’m using, does “Maintenance Mechanic,” “willing to relocate,” or “3rd shift” appear.

I wouldn’t work third shift when I was 25; I’m sure as hell not working it now.

Hi Mark,

This is Naimesh from ProKatchers and I am writing to you regarding an excellent job opportunity that I have with one of my premier client located in Chicago, Illinois. If you are interested in this job opportunity, you can reach out to me on my email or call me directly.

Job Title: Maintenance Mechanic
Location: 2945 West 31st Street Chicago, Illinois, 604
Duration: 12 Months (Possible Temp to Hire for the right person)
Shift: 3rd Shift 10pm to 6:15 am

Job Description:

● This position will be primarily concerned with ongoing maintenance and repair of equipment.
● Receives directions from Maintenance Supervisors, Maintenance Manager and Production Supervisors.
● Works independently in addressing operation needs and completing assigned work.
● May work under the guidance of another mechanic during probationary stage. Essential functions of the job include but are not limited to the following: *Not all functions are applicable on a daily basis.
● Rotations of the following functions may occur accordingly depending on business needs
● Troubleshooting [magic word! send an email!]packaging equipment problems and taking appropriate corrective action.
● Performs complex preventive maintenance of plant equipment and locates potential problems
● Performs complex electrical circuit installations for additions / modifications. Ability to read and understand blueprints & schematics for properly testing equipment.
● From work orders, drawings, specifications, schematics, sketches, and verbal instruction, performs complex maintenance repairs, fabrication, and rebuilding of shop, field, and plant equipment.
● Demonstrates the ability to troubleshoot, adjust, and repair most plant equipment, without supervision.
● Performs complex horizontal and vertical welding, fabricating, silver soldering, hard facing, braising using acetylene, arc, mig and tig welder on most ferrous and nonferrous metals.
● Able to properly use machine shop fabrication machines such as lathe, mill, grinder, drill press, brake, and press to fabricate machine replacement parts or new equipment.
● Tests, adjusts, modifies and maintains digital and logic circuitry, microprocessor controlled devices, elements and components such as programmable logic controllers, process control equipment, metering devices, recorders, sensors, and controllers.
● Prepares purchase requests for parts and materials required to perform preventive and corrective assigned tasks
● Overhauls, maintains, installs, adjusts, inspects and repairs a wide variety of plant equipment
● Be able to train maintenance personnel
● Able to use Infra-Red Camera to do predictive electrical troubleshooting repairs.
● Maintaining packaging equipment in optimum operating condition.
● Working with and supporting packaging operators in problem resolution.
● Equipment lubrication.
● Repairing packaging equipment to standards and specifications.
● Able to use computer [Magic word! Send an email!] to fill out work orders for Maintenance Management ● System (SAP)
● Other duties as assigned based on skill and knowledge level.
● Must comply with all applicable food laws, regulations and food safety requirements.
● Must comply with Company Policies, as well as, promotes safety and safe work conditions.
● Must comply, promote and maintain an environment consisted with Security regulations
Must be able to interact with facility employees and management.

Skills Required:

● Should be familiar with operation of packaging equipment (i.e Hayssens, Erectors, Sealers).
● Verifiable reading and writing ability.
● Conversant in English (Spanish ability desired).
● Basic electrical knowledge.
● Demonstrable proficiency in use of hand tools (screwdriver, pliers, hammer, and wrenches).
● Demonstrable proficiency in practical arithmetic.
● Experience with from/fill/seal (Hayssens), erector, sealers.
● Demonstrate proficiency in use of portable power tools (hand drill, grinder).
● Working knowledge of electrical systems, Computer Operated Processing Systems and Programmable Logic Controllers;

Experience Required:

● Arc welding of low carbon steel
● Gas welding techniques
● HVAC
● Use of plumbing and pipe fitting tools; pipe fitting techniques
● Pneumatic systems
● Hydraulic systems
● Measuring instruments
● Blue print reading
● Basic carpentry
● Basic masonry
● Pump repair
● Gear box repair
● Seal installation

Experience Preferred:

● Should be familiar with operation of packaging equipment (i.e Hayssens,  Erectors, Sealers).
● Verifiable reading and writing ability.
● Conversant in English (Spanish ability desired).
● Basic electrical knowledge.
● Demonstrable proficiency in use of hand tools (screwdriver, pliers, hammer, and wrenches).
● Demonstrable proficiency in practical arithmetic.
● Experience with from/fill/seal (Hayssens), erector, sealers.
● Demonstrate proficiency in use of portable power tools (hand drill, grinder).
● Previous experience required, preferably in the food industry.

Education:

● High School Diploma or equivalent . Trade school or equivalent in mechanical field preferred.

I would really appreciate if you could forward me your updated resume with all the updated details

If this weren’t enough, he called twice and left voice mails!

Oh, I reached out to him for sure, but I won’t post my response here. Let’s just say that email served as an outlet for my increasing intolerance of teh st00pid I’m encountering from these offshore recruiters as well as my frustration for losing out on that job with the architects yesterday.

I may have used the phrase, “fucking asshole” at least once.

So much for getting in at that architectural office.

“Mark, Thank you for your interest in employment at [company name].  We appreciate the time you spent preparing your resume and your time for interviews.

Your qualifications have been carefully reviewed along with other candidates. We have decided to pursue others who appear to match our requirements more closely at this time.

We appreciate your interest in our company and wish you success in your search for a suitable career position.”

And I could understand even less of “Kevin” or “Devon” or whatever the fuck he claimed his name was…