I Guess We’re Not Moving Back to Phoenix After All

So Arizona has decided to boldly go where even batshit-crazy Kansas (in a surprising display of self-restraint) feared to tread. Onward Christian soldiers:

PHOENIX — State senators voted Wednesday to let businesses refuse to serve gays based on owners’ “sincerely held” religious beliefs.

The 17-13 vote along party lines, with Republicans in the majority, came after supporters defeated an attempt to extend existing employment laws that bar discrimination based on religion and race to also include sexual orientation. Sen. Steve Yarbrough, R-Chandler, said that’s a separate issue from what he is trying to do.

But Sen. Steve Gallardo, D-Phoenix, said that’s precisely the issue.

“The bill opens the door for discrimination against gays and lesbians,” he said.

Yarbrough, however, said foes of SB 1062 are twisting what his legislation says.

“This bill is not about discrimination,” he said. “It’s about preventing discrimination against people who are clearly living out their faith.”

A similar measure is awaiting a vote in the House, probably later today.

Arizona already has laws which protect individuals and businesses from any state action which substantially interferes with their right to exercise their religion. This bill extends that protection to cover what essentially are private transactions.

The push follows a decision by the New Mexico Supreme Court which said a gay couple could sue a photographer who refused on religious grounds to take pictures of their nuptials. Yarbrough’s legislation would preclude such a ruling here.

But Gallardo said this legislation makes one person’s religious freedom an attack on others.

“We all have the right to our religious beliefs,” he said.

“But I do not agree that we have the right to discriminate because of our religious beliefs,” Gallardo continued. “I do not believe we have to throw our religious beliefs to others that don’t share our same beliefs.”

Sen. Lynne Pancrazi, D-Yuma, said that, issues of discrimination aside, the legislation is bad for business. She feared Arizona state would face the same boycotts it did when former Gov. Evan Mecham rescinded a state holiday honoring slain civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. in the 1980s and after Arizona enacted SB 1070 in 2010, a measure aimed at dealing with illegal immigration which some saw as an attack on Hispanics.

But Yarbrough said foes are missing the point of why the Founding Fathers crafted religious protections in the First Amendment.

“One’s faith, at least in America, extended to the workplace, to the public square and to all aspects of our lives,” he said. And Yarbrough said SB 1062 is “aimed at preventing the rising attempts at discriminating against folks because they are sincere and serious about the free exercise of their religious faith.”

Sen. Kelli Ward, R-Lake Havasu, agreed.

“A person does not lose their First Amendment freedoms when they start a business,” she said. “In America, people are free to live and work according to their faith.”

Foes, however, sought to concentrate on what they said would be more concrete effects of such a law.

Sen. Robert Meza, D-Phoenix, said the measure would allow a hotel operator who believes Mormonism is a cult to refuse to provide rooms to a family who walked in wearing Brigham Young T-shirts, indicating their religion.

Yarbrough did not specifically dispute that. But he said the question of whether such an action would be allowed would be based on whether the government has a “compelling interest” in forbidding such discrimination and whether any laws were the least restrictive necessary.

Sen. Steve Farley, D-Tucson, wondered openly whether SB 1062 would provide new license for people like Warren Jeffs, head of the polygamous Fundamentalist Church of Latter-Day Saints, to act against those who refuse to follow his edicts.

And Sen. Ed Ableser, D-Tempe, said the wording of the measure even would allow those who worship Satan to use their beliefs as a legal shield.

Yarbrough, however, said the First Amendment is broadly crafted for a reason.

“I understand that the freedom of religion can be inconvenient,” he said. “But this is what our Constitution contemplates.”

Unable to block the measure, Gallardo tried what he called a notice requirement for those businesses that want to assert their religious freedom to refuse to serve gays.

“If there is an organization or a business out there that wants to use the defense of religious freedom, I believe that consumers have a right to know,” he said. Yarbrough, however, got the GOP majority to reject the amendment.

Gallardo said opposition to consumer notice is no surprise. Any firm which openly advertises such discrimination would be boycotted and go out of business, he said.

I cannot wait to see the first lawsuit against a Muslim (or any other non-“Christian”) establishment who refuses service to these hateful, bigoted assholes. Then we’ll see how long it lasts.

“Oh, but we meant the law only to apply to Christians!”

This is the problem with these so-called “people of faith.” They can’t see beyond the very limited boundaries of their own particular brand of invisible-friend-in-the-sky. They obviously don’t realize how easily their laws can be turned against them. “But, but, but…!”

Fine. If you want to attach your little Jesus fish to your business, go right ahead. At this point all it’s doing is showing the world what a hateful fuck you are. So don’t be surprised when I (and I dare say, the vast majority of Americans who don’t ascribe to your brand of batshittery) refuse to patronize your business and you’re forced to close. Shut up and play the role of good Christian martyr like you’re supposed to.

And frankly, any state that passes these sort of bullshit laws needs to be boycotted as well.

I mean seriously. This is the twenty-first century, goddamnit. We’re supposed to be going forward, not sliding back into the Middle Ages.

This planet needs an enema.

Ouch.

Can’t say I disagree…

“Windows 8 is a disaster in every sense of the word.

“This is not open to debate, is not part of some cute imaginary world where everyone’s opinion is equally valid or whatever. Windows 8 is a disaster. Period.

“While some Windows backers took a wait-and-see approach and openly criticized me for being honest about this, I had found out from internal sources immediately that the product was doomed from the get-go, feared and ignored by customers, partners and other groups in Microsoft alike. Windows 8 was such a disaster that Steven Sinofsky was ejected from the company and his team of lieutenants was removed from Windows in a cyclone of change that triggered a reorganization of the entire company. Even Sinofsky’s benefactor, Microsoft’s then-CEO Steve Ballmer, was removed from office. Why did all this happen? Because together, these people set the company and Windows back by years and have perhaps destroyed what was once the most successful software franchise of all time.” ~ Paul Thurrott

Quote of the Day

“You gotta respect everyone’s beliefs? No you don’t! That’s what gets us in trouble! You have to acknowledge everyone’s beliefs, but then you have to reserve the right to go, ‘That is fucking stupid! Are you kidding me?'” ~ Patton Oswalt

The Batshittery is Strong in this One

“This is a full-scale assault against Christianity and the followers of Christ. When prayer is banned from the public square, when our President fails to defend biblically defined marriage, and he openly and zealously advocates for gay rights; when legislators rush to overrule existing laws to promote gay marriage; when schools and courts consistently suppress religious freedoms; we know we are locked in a war against the Christian faith, not culture. The architect behind this offensive is none other than Satan himself. The Scripture says that the devil, our archenemy, is bent on as much destruction as possible. Satan knows that one day very soon, he will be cast into the lake of fire and sulfur in hell (Revelation 20:10). As that day draws near, his malicious, hellish activity is intensifying.” – Franklin Graham, writing on his daddy’s website. (Via Good As You)

I don’t know about any of you, but I stopped having invisible friends when I was 4 or 5 years old, and the monsters living under my bed and in my closet also disappeared only a couple of years later.  This guy, however…

Quote of the Day

“Same sex marriage isn’t gay privilege. It’s equal rights. Privilege would be something special, like gay people not paying taxes. You know, like churches.” ~ Ricky Gervais

The Walgreens from Hell

I dreamt last night I went to Walgreens to pick up a prescription. This in itself is odd because I haven’t used Walgreens for scripts in years because their service (at least in Denver) is so uniformly appalling. But yet here I was, and not unusual for them, the pharmacy wasn’t open even though a half dozen employees were milling about inside.

I was near the front of an ever-increasing line of people when they finally started accepting customers. At first they had only one window open, but when I was finally at the head of the line they opened a second. A large, at first friendly, black clerk asked for my name. “Oh yes, I just saw yours here,” she said, while rifling through a huge pile of bags strewn across the counter. “I’ll need to see your ID,” she said.

I opened my wallet and could not find my driver’s license, even though I’d just had it out a second before. My wallet is a huge mess, so I ended up pulling everything out in an effort to locate it. As it took longer and longer for me to find it, I could tell the clerk—not to mention the crowd behind me was getting annoyed. I finally found it and handed it to her. She took it to the back counter, turned around and asked, “What kind of Canon printer do you own?”

I thought, WTF? “What kind of Canon printer do I own? What does that have to do with picking up my medication…and how do you even know I have a Canon?”

“They’re running a promotion and I need your information.”

“I don’t know,” I said, becoming increasingly annoyed that I’d been there for such a long time and still hadn’t gotten what I came in for. “Pixma something-or-other. I’m not interested. Just write down ‘customer refused to provide information.'”

“I can’t do that, she said. You have to tell me what model it is.”

“I DON’T FUCKING REMEMBER!”

At this point I’d caught the attention of the woman standing at the window next to me. She gave me a wry smile.

The clerk then pulled something out from under the counter that started shining lights into my eyes. I noticed it had “cognitive assessment” and “memory recall” buttons on it that were lit up. “What the fuck are you doing?” I said.

“You’re acting impaired. I can’t release your meds without verification that you’re capable of taking them as instructed.”

“Because I can’t remember the model number of my printer, something that’s none of your damn business to begin with? I never consented to a medical test!”

The woman to my left now got involved. “He’s fine. He just doesn’t remember his printer model number. Hell, I don’t even know what kind of printer I have!”

The clerk then turned the device on her.

“Now you’ve done it,” I said.

At that point I woke up.

This followed an earlier dream where I was walking around North Beach in San Francisco attempting to take pictures with my iPad! (Even though I had my old Pentax SLR with me. I think it was out of film.)

I guess this is what I get for having had such a late dinner last night.

Synchronicity

I was at Einstein’s the other day having lunch and slowly making my way through Walter Isaacson’s biography of Steve Jobs. I was at the point in the book where Job was waxing poetic about his love of Bob Dylan’s music and how he finally got to meet the man who so profoundly influenced him. I was immediately reminded of my dear friend Beth in Phoenix, who in her younger days actually dated Dylan for an extended period:

Me: “You should’ve seen my Mom’s face when I brought home my first Bob Dylan record.”

Beth: “You should’ve seen my Mom’s face when I brought home Bob Dylan.”

At that exact moment, one of Dylan’s songs (I don’t know which one; I recognize his voice but not his complete catalog) started playing over the sound system.

There is a lot about the nature of reality that we simply do not understand—and probably never will.

A Random Thought

One of my guilty Instagram pleasures—unabashed geek and Apple fanboy that I am—is searching for photos on the service that are tagged #applestore, #macbookpro, and #geniusbar (there are others, but you get the general idea). I’m continually amazed at the number of photos that show up after those searches that have absolutely nothing to do with any of those tags, but even more intrigued by the people who post photos of their weed stash either sitting on top of, or immediately next to their Apple products.

And I can’t help but ask, “WHY?”

Those photos just seem…boring. Really guys? Are you trying to be provocative? Edgy? Or are you just stoned?

It’s said that people photograph whatever is important to them. I shudder to think of what my photos say about me.

And Here I Thought It was only Jobs Who’d Taken LSD…

“There’s nothing to keep Apple out of the Android market as a secondary phone market. We could compete very well. People like the precious looks of stylings and manufacturing that we do in our product compared to the other Android offerings. We could play in two arenas at the same time.” ~ Steve Wozniak, obviously tripping on something