Author: Mark Alexander

(stolen from Seduced By The New)

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North Carolina doesn’t look much different today then it did back then does it?

Still ignorant, inbred and on the wrong side of history.

I hope businesses flee the state en masse now that discrimination has once again been enshrined in state law.

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Watch it. Share it.

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Surrounded by stupid. Literally.

Even before I got on the freeway, my morning commute consisted of:

• guy in front of me so engrossed in his cell phone conversation that he kept drifting into the adjacent lane (not once, but every couple minutes)
• woman on my left putting on make up—while driving, vanity mirror down
• guy on my right, combing his hair with both hands while driving

When I got to I-25, southbound—the direction I was going of course—it was at a complete standstill. The overhead sign was flashing, “CRASH AT HAMPDEN. EXPECT DELAYS.”

A crash? In Denver? Impossible!

Half an hour later, when I finally got to Hampden, there were two cars (minor damage) and a highway patrol cruiser at the side of the road. THIS is what backed up traffic for at least two and a half miles because everyone (all five lanes) apparently had to slow down and look at it. “Ooh are there bloody, mangled bodies in the road? Decapitations? I WANNA SEE!”

And because of this I was late to work. Guess I’ll be taking a fifteen minute lunch today.

If that weren’t enough, I have yet another meeting scheduled with our absolutely clueless COO this morning…right after we had an I.S. meeting with her yesterday afternoon.

FML.

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…I am forced to unpack another piece of cheap plastic crap from Dell at work, I am reminded how Dell is not—and will never be—Apple. Dell equipment arrives in standard brown corrugated cardboard boxes with dozens of twist ties and styrofoam inserts that shed bits of themselves all over everything the minute they’re removed. Compare that to the simple, elegant beauty of Apple’s packaging.

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…is why I stopped going to gay pride parades.

I ran across almost this exact scene one parade day during my time in San Francisco. While I know a lot of my readers may disagree, in my opinion this shit unequivocally crosses the line. I’m certainly no prude—or a stranger to public sex—but it’s one thing to be getting your groove on with a handsome stranger deep in the bushes at Golden Gate Park or in a secluded hamlet on the beach, but it’s quite something else to be doing it out on a public sidewalk on Market Street.

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Gay porn is a gymnastics competition.

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Like I was overdue.

Am I the only one who finds the recent resurgence of animated gifs (thanks in no small part to Tumblr) horrific?  Especially when applied to porn?

I thought this format rightfully died and went to cyber hell in the 90s. I don’t mind it in small does (I’ve posted some on this blog), but now it seems it’s everywhere, 24/7 all day every day!

STOP IT.

And while we’re on the subject of porn, why does so much gay porn remind me more of a gymnastics competition than sex?

Another pet peeve (and it’s not just limited to porn) is the overexposed effect:

I look at this and think, “Someone doesn’t know how to use a camera,” and “That would’ve been an awesome shot. Too bad he fucked it up.”

And don’t even get me started on bareback porn. Seriously guys? Have you not learned anything in the last 30 years? Or do you stupid, irresponsible, selfish fucks (and I’m referring to the producers and actors in this crap) just have a death wish?

Maybe I’m just getting old and cranky.

“You there! GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN!”

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…has this man not yet been shirtless on Fairly Legal? Inquiring minds want—nay, demand—to know!

I mean seriously, USA Network. What’s your excuse?

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…but I don’t think it’s that far from reality.

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Cry.

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I miss buying books. Once upon a time, I was a voracious reader and a huge amount of my disposable income went to building my personal library. Books were gleefully given and gratefully received as gifts. My interests were (and remain) all over the map, and my library reflected that.

But somewhere along the way, the Internet appeared, and my book buying slowed and then all but stopped. Printed matter seemed to become increasingly—irrelevant—in this age of instant gratification, especially where reference and non-fiction material are concerned since more current information is always available online. Fiction is another matter, but even there I will sooner buy a digital copy and read it on my computer than purchase a physical book. Ben and I still visit bookstores, but it’s rare that I actually walk out with anything.

Another problem, no doubt an unfortunate side effect of our internet obsession—or maybe it’s just another one of those “joys” of growing older—is that I just don’t have the patience or attention span I once did to sit down and actually read at length. And it’s not just books; the same goes for blog posts; if you’ve written more than three or four screens, you can forget about me reading any further, no matter how interested I may be in the subject matter.

Another issue is that I’m at that point in life where I need reading glasses (or, in my case, a monocular contact lens arrangement) in order to focus on anything at reading distance. The one-lens-for-reading, one-lens-for-distance contacts thing, while convenient (since I don’t have to carry reading glasses with me everywhere I go), has never been completely satisfactory. It allows me to function, but it’s next to useless for actually reading anything on paper, except under very bright light. (That’s probably why I prefer reading on a computer display.)

A few weeks ago Ben and I finally made a pilgrimage to the Denver Public Library. It was a great experience; the building smelled almost exactly the same as the University of Arizona Main Library, and I would’ve loved to have spent the day exploring. But at the same time I kept thinking, “There’s really nothing here I want to bring home; anything I might need will be online somewhere.”

Is this sad, or what?

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“The good things don’t always soften the bad things but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things, or make them unimportant” ~ The Eleventh Doctor

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“You lie awake at night worrying about what will disrupt your business model. Apple iMessage is a classic example. If you’re using iMessage, you’re not using one of our messaging services, right? That’s disruptive to our messaging revenue stream.” ~ AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson

Maybe you just need to start charging the government more for wiretapping our electronic communications without warrants, Douchebag.

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“I guess it comes down to deciding which you find more offensive:

1) Using profanity to point out that there are plenty of things in the Bible we all ignore, or

2) Calling the Bible the absolute, unerring, infallible word of God, and then only obeying the chunks that let you feel superior to other human beings.

I say #2.”~ Dave Holmes

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