Author: Mark Alexander

Stolen unapologetically off the Facebook and so out of character from what you’ve come to expect from me in this blog, I know, but whatever…

The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things–your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions–and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else–the small stuff. “If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first–the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

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Why does this remind me of the Puppetmaster movies?

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“Life is but a momentary glimpse of the wonder of the astonishing universe, and it is sad to see so many dreaming it away on spiritual fantasy.” ~ Carl Sagan (1934-1996), American astronomer, astrophysicist, and author

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“It seems all religion now has a fixation with homosexuality. This is because religion has not done the hard work of evolving and accepting modern day reality. So, they look for a reason to reject modernity and a scapegoat for the gullible to blame. Religion really needs to look within and ask why thousand year old myths trump truth, science and reality. They need to ask themselves why religion increasingly only appeals to the desperate, fearful and retarded. They need to ask why any conscious non-sociopathic human these days will reject everything religion stands for.” ~ Sampy, in a comment left at Joe.My.God.

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Like the See-You-Next-Tuesday who walked into our local Starbucks with a cell phone glued to her ear a few minutes ago; the one who didn’t even pause her conversation long enough to give her order to the barista. I’ve really got to hand it to the folks who work here—they have the patience of angels to put up with the overinflated egos and rudeness of some of the people who frequent this place.

NO FOAM!

I did a brief stint in the retail world back in my early 20s, but I don’t think I could do it again today. I just don’t have the patience to put up with the people who think they’re a gift to humanity. I would’ve told the bitch I wasn’t going to serve her until she put down her phone and would’ve probably gotten promptly fired for it.

And because no one besides government offices and banks can apparently get away with actually doing that, it’s the reason this type of behavior is tolerated.

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WARNING: Rant ahead. You may just want to move on.

Someone I didn’t know that well on Facebook recently left two comments (as if one wasn’t enough to get his point across) that said, “All you do is post angry shit!”

After de-friending him, I posted something on my wall to the effect, “If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention to what’s going on in the world.” But his observation did get me to thinking, and I’ve since dialed back my postings on Facebook.

This blog, however, is mine, and if I want to bitch and rant and howl at the moon, I will. If you don’t like it, you’re welcome to stop reading.

Anyhow…

It’s been nearly eleven months since Ben and I arrived in Denver, and I’ve done my best to adjust to it, but I fuckin’ hate this place. I’ll muddle through for as long as necessary for Ben’s sake, but if we had to pack and leave tomorrow, no tears would be shed. There is not one thing about Denver or Colorado that I would miss.

Metaphysically speaking, my energy vibration and Denver’s are most definitely out of sync. You know how you sometimes go places and they just don’t feel right?  That’s me and Denver. I never thought I’d hear myself say it, but I’m really starting to miss Arizona.

I miss being near my family, as dysfunctional as it may be. At this point I even miss seeing Ben’s mom. And while lord knows I constantly bitched about it in this blog, I miss my old job. Yeah, I hated the on-call duty and the resounding level of stupidity displayed by the user base, but on the whole I liked the people I worked with in my department; not enough to socialize after hours (it’s been a long time since I shared that kind of camaraderie), but I didn’t mind spending 8 hours a day with them. And the money was good.

And let’s face it: there had to have been something going for it to have kept me there for seven years.

I miss my doctor. A couple years ago I finally found a doctor in Phoenix whom I trusted and admired as much as my old MD in San Francisco, and now that’s gone. (I went to a recommended physician here two months ago and hated the guy so much I haven’t been back, not even to get the results of the $1200 (!!!) worth of “routine” blood tests they ran.)

The weather in Denver is admittedly beautiful in the summer. Suffering through months of 110 degree temps in Phoenix had become a real drag and our arrival here was a welcome relief. But winter? Now I understand why, after my folks divorced in the 80s and Mom moved back to Wisconsin, she was back in Arizona a year later.

We’re paying more than twice what we were in Phoenix for an apartment with the same amenities that is about 100 square feet smaller.

While the streets in Phoenix were bad, in Denver they’re horrible. I’m convinced the city and the alignment/repair shops are in collusion to keep them this way. It’s the only explanation for the city being pockmarked with 6″ deep, unavoidable potholes everywhere.

It’s impossible to keep the car looking good more than three or four days in a row. Admittedly minor, I know, but still annoying for someone who likes his car clean.

And don’t get me started on Denver drivers. I thought they were bad in Phoenix. Here they are insane.

While I’m making $10K a year less than I was in Phoenix for doing more, work was fine until my boss gave notice a month ago, taking his extensive knowledge and skill set with him. Yesterday the COO asked me if I’d help out the developers (something he used to do) if they’re caught in a pinch. I tried to explain to her that I do not possess any development skills, and it would be a waste of everyone’s time in that situation. It fell on deaf ears.

I’m a desktop tech, not a developer. I have no desire to be a developer. So honey, if you run into a pinch in an emergency, it’s not my issue that you don’t have enough staff to cover. You brought me on board for the skill set I possessed; not for one you’d hope I’d learn down the road. HIRE A FUCKING TEMP WHO KNOWS THAT SHIT, YOU CHEAP BASTARDS.

And then the bitch has the nerve last night to email me asking one of the developers and I to order food for the boss’s farewell potluck tomorrow. “I’ll split the cost with you.”

I shot an email back to her this morning that said, “I just registered my car and paid rent. I have no extra money. I’ll bring some sort of side dish.”

I fuckin’ hate this place.

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Being partnered with a special ed teacher has opened my eyes to many things, and watching this video absolutely sickens me to think that there are people like this teaching children.

Not only do the parties in this video need to be fired, they need to be prevented from ever being around children again. Please watch the whole thing.

If you’re as outraged as I am after seeing this, please consider signing the petition to change New Jersey law here.

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