that’s all, folks. it’s over and done. the once-stately East Wing of the White House has been completely reduced to a pile of rubble.

here’s another thing that’s now a pile of rubble: our Constitution. masked ICE thugs trample over it every day on the streets of our cities.

want more rubble? just look at our tariff and trade policies, and our relationships with our allies. they can’t trust us to be honest — or even coherent — about anything.

does any sane person believe any of the fairy tales our government has been spewing about the fishing boats they’ve been blowing up, without providing one scrap of evidence? our credibility is also a pile of rubble.

hey, you know what else is a pile of rubble? Preznit Fuckwit’s poll numbers — because everything fucking sucks right now, and none of this shit is popular.

Harry Enten: “Donald Trump’s doing absolutely awful in the minds of the American people. what are we talking about? we’re talking about new lows for Donald Trump. he’s hit new lows for himself. Trump’s economic net approval rating hits lows with these pollsters. CNBC, look at this: down now minus 13 points in the net approval rating on the economy. you come to this side of the screen, it’s minus 19 points among Quinnipiac, and keep in mind, we’re talking about hitting record lows for Donald Trump in either his first term or his second term. the bottom line is that Donald Trump is at the lowest point ever in either of his terms…. Donald Trump is beating himself in the way you don’t want to beat yourself: record lows.”

Preznit Fuckwit is the least-popular president since Preznit Fuckwit.

Donny’s been praising himself to high heaven these days, bragging about how the price of everything has gone down by all the percents. thousands, maybe even millions. low prices like no one thought possible. sir! sir! how do you do it?

Donny can lie all he wants, but his pungent mouth-farts only float so far. people still have to go shopping. they know first hand that the price of everything has been skyrocketing lately.

oh, and this just in from The New York Times, as I’m writing this post.

and that doesn’t even factor in health insurance premiums, which are on their way to going through the roof.


we don’t yet have poll numbers on Donny’s desecration of East Wing, but you know that none of what’s going is likely to be popular.

even the White House knows this fuckery is radioactive. yesterday, they sicced their goons on reporters covering the destruction.

“Look away! New: US Secret Service has closed access to the Ellipse park where journalists had been capturing live images of the East Wing demolition. CNN had a photojournalist capturing live images of the demolition at the time. Reuters was also ushered out of the park.”

what a good look for this fascist administration, closing a public park and ejecting the press. they really don’t want We the People to find out what they’ve been doing to our House, do they?

too late, you fuckfaces. the photos are already out there.

gone. just fucking gone. all that beauty, all that history.

destroyed, just so that a broken-inside narcissist can build his tscky dance hall for billionaires.

what a fucking travesty.

our next Democratic president is going to have a lot of cleanup work to do — but one of the many things they must campaign on is a vow to put all this shit back the way it was before Cankles McRottinghand assaulted it. not just the Epstein Ballroom, but also the parking lot where our beloved Rose Garden used to be.


tell me, does Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants’ inability to remember who he’s pardoned lately make his ass seem demented?

Kaitlin Collins: “today you pardoned the founded of Binance. can you explain why you chose to pardon him, and did it have anything to do with his involvement in—”

Donny: “who is that?”

Collins: “the founder of Binance. he has an involvement in—”

Donne: “the recent one? yes, the— uh— I believe we’re talking about the same— because I do pardon a lot of people. uh, I don’t know. he was recommended by a lot of people. a lot of people say that— are you talking about the crypto person? uh, a lot of people say that he wasn’t guilty of anything, and he served four months in jail. they say that, uh, he was not guilty of anything. what he did— well, you don’t know much about crypto. you know nothing about— you know nothing about nothing, you fake news.”

Donny’s such a charmer, isn’t he?

come on, media, be fair. Donny’s been springing a shitload of convicted criminals from prison. how can you expect him to keep them all straight?

imagine that a reporter had asked Joe Biden about someone he’d pardoned, and his answer was ‘fuck if I know, I just sign whatever they put in front of me.’

Jake Tapper would have spontaneously orgasmed right then and there, and started writing ten new books. but have you heard a peep out of him now?

let’s refresh Dear Leader’s memory. here’s why you pardoned the founder of Binance, you thieving old kleptocrat.

The pardon of Zhao, widely known as CZ, came two months after The Wall Street Journal reported that the Trump family’s own crypto venture, which has generated about $4.5 billion since the 2024 election, has been helped by “a partnership with an under-the-radar trading platform quietly administered by Binance.”

oh, was that wrong?

because Donny has to plead ignorance on this thing. because if anyone had said anything at all to him when he first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon…

I’m so old, I remember when Tricky Dick’s veep, Spiro Agnew, resigned after he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Spiro’s crime was bribery and tax evasion, to the tune of twenty nine thousand dollars. seriously, that’s all? twenty-nine large? that’s chicken feed. Tom Homan won’t even pick up the phone for less than fifty.

but Spiro’s real crime was being born fifty years too soon. if he was around today, Donny would pardon him in a heartbeat — and then completely forget who Spiro was, and get pissy with the first reporter to ask him about it.

twenty-nine grand. what a laughably minuscule sum. Donny’s ripping us off for billions — and he’s pardoning all of his accomplices.


what is even going on in this next clip? is Donny claiming credit for popularizing the f-word?

“they’ve even now started imitating me, of all people. the want to imitate me, and they start using foul language. but they use too much of it. you can’t use the f-word seven times in one sentence. it doesn’t work. it might work once every seven news conferences, but you can’t do it— you can’t do it seven times in one sentence.”

fuck you, you fucking fuck. don’t you fucking tell me how fucking often I can fucking say fuck.

dude, am I right?


here’s your hero of the day: Polka Dot Lady.

a couple of days ago, masked ICE thugs showed up in lower Manhattan to round up Chinese street vendors who were guilty of the dastardly crime of selling cheap knock-offs — and our anonymous hero was having none of it. apparently out for a lunch-hour stroll, she saw what was going on, and she was all this fuckery ends now.

here she is, giving a New York welcome to an armored military vehicle.

look at her mix it up with law enforcement, while wearing business clothing. talk about being dressed for success.

Polka Dot Lady is fearless.

we have no idea who this brave woman is, and we have no idea if she was one of the five people arrested for assaulting officers.

Polka Dot Lady, whoever you are, wherever you are — we salute you.


this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Tiedrich Wednesday

as a team of backhoes reduces the White House’s East Wing to rubble, a second set of much tinier backhoes is at work inside Preznit Fuckwit’s head, reducing the east wing of his brain to rubble.

as a team of backhoes reduces the White House’s East Wing to rubble, a second set of much tinier backhoes is at work inside Preznit Fuckwit’s head, reducing the east wing of his brain to rubble.

“and I will say this, we have Darth Vader. you know Darth Vader, right? Darth Vader is a man who, uh, I think he’s sitting, right? is that Darth? stand up please, Darth Va— stand up. does everybody know— this is— they call him Darth Vader, I call him a fine man. but he’s cutting Democrat priorities and they’re never gonna get them back.”

Donny has no idea that Darth Vader is the bad guy, does he?

apparently Star Wars is some kind of Shakespearean tragedy for Donny, where the awesomest hombre in the galaxy keeps getting defeated.

anyway, the ‘Darth Vader’ who Donny was encouraging to ‘stand up,’ is, of course, Russ Vought, the architect of Project 2025 who is now Director of the Office of Management and Budget. Russ has been hard at work hollowing out government to the point where it no longer functions. he’s also been, as Donny was proud to point out, ‘cutting Democrat priorities.’

you know, ‘Democrat’ priorities, like ‘healthcare should be affordable,’ and ‘food and drugs should be inspected.’ just wait until the cultists discover that cutting all that shit affects them, too.

hey — speaking of Donny and his relationship with Russ the Impaler, here’s a fun story that’s not at all creepy or vomit-inducing.

apparently, after Vought’s wife left him in 2023, America’s Poon-Hound-in-Chief made it his mission in life to get Russ laid. ‘come down to Motel-a-Lago,’ Donny urged him, ‘you’ll be drowning in snatch.’

apparently, after Vought’s wife left him in 2023, America’s Poon-Hound-in-Chief made it his mission in life to get Russ laid. ‘come down to Motel-a-Lago,’ Donny urged him, ‘you’ll be drowning in snatch.’

“Trump spoke to Vought, a self-described Christian nationalist who’s now one of the president’s most hardline enforcers, about the ‘gorgeous’ and ‘beautiful ladies’ who roam Trump’s club, Mar-a-Lago, so often that it ‘weirded out’ some of his advisers,” sources told Zeteo.

“And Trump spoke crudely of all the ‘pussy’ that Vought would surely get as the president’s favorite ‘bachelor.’”

yes, I know. I just had the same reaction you did.

come on, Russ — how could you resist the Sirens of Motel-a-Lago?

but I digress. we need to get back to Donny, because he’s been getting all shouty at his TV again.

“the great George Washington, all the way to— [pauses as his mind goes blank] well, I think we have to rate him above me. so, less than great. less than George. as somebody went up the other day, they say, ‘you’re the third-best president of the Uni—’ this was on television, ‘third best.’ and they said who are the first two? ‘George Washington and Abraham Lincoln,’ and I got extremely angry at this man, heh heh, you know? you can’t— it’s— it’s gonna be— it’s gonna be tough to beat [gestures] Mister Senator, it’s gonna be— John, it’s gonna be very tough to beat Washington and Lincoln, but we’re gonna give it a try, right? hey, they didn’t put out eight wars, nine coming. all right, we put out eight wars, and the ninth is coming, believe it or not.”

let’s set aside this fever swamp hallucination, where Donny actually believes he deserves the Nobel Bestest President Ever Prize for “putting out” eight (now nine) wars. (fact check: fuck off.)

instead, let’s focus on how Donny’s brain has gone fuckity-bye. listen to him ramble incoherently, and struggle to finish a single sentence without losing his train of thought.

this is the clownish figurehead they put in front of the camera to distract us all with his dog-and-pony show, while Stephen Miller and Russ Vought and all the other sewer clowns run around in the background and do the actual work of fucking our country into oblivion.

everyone knows this. it’s the worst-kept secret in Washington.

meanwhile, every Republican Senator present at Donny’s Parking Lot Club luncheon, and every reporter watching from the wings, sits there with a grin frozen on their face, and pretends that all of this is normal, and acts like nothing’s wrong.

hey, why should they complain? when the whole thing was over, they all got cool swag bags full of Trump-branded merch as a parting gift.

I shit you not.

what did We the People get? fucked, that’s what. and not in the Russ-Vought-at-Motel-a-Lago way.

lucky us.


it’s Day Two of the desecration of the East Wing. remember how Donny swore that construction of his vulgar dance hall wouldn’t affect the East Wing at all?

well, here’s the latest photo from yesterday, and it sure looks like they’re going to demolish the whole fucking thing.

these photos we’re getting are coming from people inside the Treasury Building, which is right next door to the East Wing. Treasury employees have a front-row seat to the travesty going on.

naturally, when Donny found out that these photos were going viral and horrifying the shit out of everyone, he reacted in the most Donny way possible: by screaming off with their heads!’

WASHINGTON—The Treasury Department instructed employees not to share photos of the demolition of parts of the White House’s East Wing after images of construction equipment dismantling the facade of the building went viral online.

“As construction proceeds on the White House grounds, employees should refrain from taking and sharing photographs of the grounds, to include the East Wing, without prior approval from the Office of Public Affairs,” a Treasury official wrote on Monday evening in an email to department employees viewed by The Wall Street Journal.

sure, why not? let’s just cover everything up.

you want to see Donny’s medical records? go fuck yourself. ok, how about the Epstein Files? go fuck yourself.

and now, a new one for the list. you want to track the wanton destruction of the House that belongs not to Donny, but to We the People?

go fuck yourself.


meanwhile, it’s been 29 days since Arizona’s Adelita Grijalva was elected to Congress — and the limpest dick in Washington, Holy Mike Johnson, is still refusing to swear her in.

everyone knows why, of course: she’s the 218th and deciding ‘yes’ vote on Tom Massie’s discharge petition that would force the release of the Donny’s Dead Pedo Bestie files.

Holy Mike’s getting super fucking pissed off, because this obvious farce has reached the point where every time he goes out in public. it’s the first thing reporters pester him about.

what are you hiding, bro? what’s in those files that you’re so hot to keep under wraps?

“suddenly now, they’ve somehow convinced themselves that the [makes air-quotes] Epstein files will be damaging to President Trump and Republicans in some way that they’ve imagined, and so they feign outrage.”

you gotta love Holy’s Mike’s air quotes around ‘Epstein files.’ what’s your implication here, Mike, that we’re making the whole thing up?

you know why we’re so convinced that the Epstein files are damaging to Donny? it’s because Republicans are trying so hard to keep them covered up. fucking duh, man. this isn’t rocket science.

every time Holy Mike opens his weaselly lying mouth, he just digs himself deeper. what are you hiding, bro?

hold on — Comer Fudd, the rake-steppingest shitwit in Congress, wants a turn at the mic. for some ungodly reason, he’s super hot to embarrass himself in public again.

“let’s be clear, Democrats don’t care about transparency or accountability in this matter. the evidence we’ve gathered does not implicate President Trump in any way. public reporting, survivor testimony, and official documents show that Bill Clinton had far closer ties to Epstein. we’re working to bring former President Clinton in for a deposition, but the Democrats aren’t helping one bit.”

oh, bull fucking shit.

if the dead pedo bestie files truly exonerate Donny, then release them. show the whole world just how innocent he is.

oh, you won’t? then you must be covering something up, fuck-o.

you gotta love how Republicans imagine that ‘Bill Clinton is in the files’ is some kind of ‘game over, man’ gotcha.

you goddamn well know that if there were juicy dirt on Bill Clinton, Bill Barr would have released all of it five years ago, and Hannity would still be reading it out loud on Fox News every single night.

but let’s say the farts coming out of Comer’s mouth are true, and that Bill Clinton is implicated in the Epstein Files.

fine. bring him in. depose him. put him on trial.

if Bill Clinton committed crimes, lock him the fuck up. he and Donny can be cellmates, for all we care.

‘blah blah blah blah Bill Clinton’ means nothing to us. investigate the shit out of him.

here’s what Comer and all these Republican puke-weasels can’t understand: we’re not in a cult.

we don’t worship a Dear Leader who must be protected at all times. everyone who got up to sick shit on Epstein Island needs to be held accountable. release the files, and let the chips fall where they may.

release the full, unedited Epstein files, you fucking fucks.


this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

 

I Didn’t Say I Wasn’t Going To Post Anything

let’s start off with a bang. ladies and gents, I give you the winner of the Nobel Best Sign At No Kings Day Prize.

it’s Wonkette’s own Rebecca Schoenkopf — because once you’ve said what Rebecca’s said, what else is left?

folks, we did it.

an estimated seven million of us gathered peacefully coast to coast, to rise up as one and convey a singular message: fuck you, you fucking fuck — you’re not our king.

wait, did I say coast to coast? no, it was the entire world telling Donny Convict to fuck straight off.

folks showed up in South Korea.

and Geneva.

also in London.

holy shit, there was even one homey who parked himself in front of the US embassy in Tallinn, the capital of Estonia.

dude, you fucking rule.


meanwhile, back here in the US of A, the crowds were ginormous. check out Boston.

of course, Boston is in the major leagues when it comes to protesting. they’ve been perfecting this shit since 1773.

here’s Chicago.

and here’s Los Angeles

n Washington DC, folks carried a gigantic copy of the US Constitution down Pennsylvania Ave.

Times Square in New York City.

holy shit, look at Pittsburgh.

and look at Charlotte, North Carolina.

it wasn’t just blue states. check out Salt Lake City, in deeply-red Utah.

and it wasn’t just big cities. Highlands, North Carolina, is a tiny town of only a thousand people. an estimated six hundred of them showed up to give Donny a well-earned finger.


the worst people in the world were so horny to paint No Kings Day as some kind of mass terror event, organized by some imaginary ‘pro-Hamas wing of the Democrat™ Party,’ whatever the fuck that is, and paid for everyone’s favorite wealthy Jew.

check out the full-time podcast bro Fidel Cancun.

Ted Cruz: Follow the money. You look at this No Kings rally—there’s considerable evidence that George Soros is behind funding these rallies which may well turn into riots.

hey, did you know that Ted Cruz has a side hustle as a US Senator? I know, I was shocked when I found out, too. I thought all he did was podcast, and put his unctuous werewolf face on Fox News.

anyway, here’s a fact check for Teddy C: fuck off.

Ted, you odious dumbfuck. do you actually think George Soros is cutting seven million paychecks for the protesters? I have a question: is Soros withholding taxes and issuing 1099s, or do we need to be keeping track of that shit ourselves? is an inflatable frog costume a deductible business expense?

fuck me, did I even remember to save the receipts?

I sure hope Hamas appreciates what these frolicking dinosaurs in Chicagoare doing to further their cause.

here’s an additional fact check for Ted and his claim of ‘widespread rioting’: piss up all the ropes

The majority of the No Kings protests have dispersed at this time and all traffic closures have been lifted. We had more than 100,000 people across all five boroughs peacefully exercising their first amendment rights and the NYPD made zero protest-related arrests.

New York City: zero arrests.

now let’s contrast that to what happened on Yes Kings Day, when a bunch of crybabies went ape-shit because they couldn’t deal with Dear Leader being a loser.

what was it that Ted and his ilk called these cop-beating fuckfaces? oh right: tourists blowing off steam.

let’s see if anyone got arrested closer to Ted Cruz’s home city of Austin.

Thank you to everyone who participated in the No Kings March today. The rally remained peaceful, with no arrests reported. We’re grateful to our community and event organizers for coming together to make sure voices were heard safely and respectfully. Great job ATX!

sorry, Ted. nada.

oh wait, there was one arrest of a protester. a woman in a penis costume got nailed in Fairhope, Alabama, for ‘lewd conduct.’ great use of your time, Fairhope cops. you’re doing the lord’s work.

and some dipshit in a Trump shirt got arrested for pulling out a gun at a protest in Myrtle Beach, FL.

so for those of you keeping score at home, it’s
— ginormous penis, 1
— MAGA asshole, 1
— seven million peaceful protesters, 0


Fox News is cordially invited to go fuck themselves. they spent the day trying to convince their credulous dolt audience that America was burning to the ground.

that’s all they have: lies. they know that the dopes glued to their TVs won’t even bother to look out their windows.

oh wait, America’s self-appointed Bathroom Panty Inspector has something to say.

words, what do they even mean, am I right, Nancy?

what was Nancy Mace even doing, tweeting during a day of widespread chaos and mayhem? she should have stationed herself in front of some porta-potty, so make sure no transgendered dinosaurs committed any crimes against nature.


fuck those fucking fucks. it’s time for some more heroes.

credit: Bill Grueskin on Bluesky

credit: Stacey Lynn King on threads

credit: Bill Grueskin on Bluesky

credit: Stacey Lynn King on threads

credit: Michelangelo Signorile on Bluesky

credit: freemark7 on Bluesky

credit: Betty Bowers on Bluesky

credit: Stephanie J. on Bluesky

credit: Aaron Rupar on Bluesky

credit: Bill Kristol on Bluesky

credit: Subodh Chandra on Threads

it’s funny, but I didn’t see one sign today that said ‘I love Hitler’ — I guess that shit’s only for unfuckable incel Republicans.


check out what the doughiest pantload ever to shit himself in the Oval Office farted out onto his failing app. it’s AI-generated slop of him, wearing a fucking crown, flying a fighter jet over protesters and dumping literal shit on them.

how mature.

fuck off, Donny.

was this dumbfuck video supposed to own libs? it should come with a warning label: no libs were owned by the distribution of this infantile twaddle.

this isn’t even conduct unbecoming of a president — it’s conduct unbecoming of anyone over the age of two.

wasn’t it just a little while ago that this deteriorating fuckwit got flummoxed by an escalator that turned into stairs? keep dreaming your little dreams of fighter-pilot glory, you insignificant, spiteful homunculus. we’re all laughing at you.

you’re not our king. you’re a very naughty boy. now go away.

and could our media please stop failing us?

no, it wasn’t ‘brown liquid’ — it was shit. just come out and say it.

oh, and New York Times: it wasn’t ‘thousands of protesters’try MILLIONS.

what the fuck is wrong with you?


let’s wrap this up with a palate cleanser. here’s Rebecca Schoenkopf again — because hers is a sign so nice, I’m using it twice.

have a great Sunday, everyone. you’ve earned it.


this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

BE AWARE

Tomorrow is another No Kings protest. Don’t give ICE or Guardsmen any excuse to rile things up. Then urge your local organizers to plan the next one for protesting the Congressional Cowards who are allowing the Regime to get away with all the unconstitutional bullshit.

He’s A Fucking Moron

 

Isn’t it funny sad how you can say, “He’s a fucking moron,” pretty much anywhere in the world in 2025 and everyone will know who you’re talking about?

Just Sayin’

The last 3 government shutdowns:
 
October 1, 2025: President Trump
 
December 22, 2018: President Trump
 
January 20, 2018: President Trump
 
Almost like there is a pattern here. – Gavin Newsom

Thursday Tiedrich

yesterday was the first day of the Republican shutdown of our government, and Republicans spent it doing what they always do: swanning about like utter fucking shitheads, and shitheading up a storm.

let us document some of the atrocities.

remember how Donny stood up in front of eight hundred admirals and generals at Piss-Drunk Pete’s Big Hunkin’ WarriorFest and told them all that they should be using America’s cities for ‘military training’?

what an awesome idea. sure, instead of boring old basic training, let’s tell our soldiers, ‘hey, you want to know how to shoot a gun and go to war and stuff? okay, go practice on Americans first.’

of course you remember. it was one of the evilest things ever to spew out of Donny’s rancid anus-mouth. it’s unforgettable.

oh no wait, there’s one guy who’s apparently in the dark. I guess he wandered away from the TV right at that moment.

I’m talking of course about Holy Mike Johnson, the limpest dick in Congress. he has no fucking clue what everyone’s so riled up about.

George Stephanopoulos: “Trump said yesterday that he wants American cities to be used as ‘training grounds’ for the military. is that the highest and best use of the military?”

Holy Mike: “I run the House. and what we need to be talking about today is real harm that the American people are going to feel because of what Schumer is doing.”

Stephanopoulos: “hold on a second. answer the question. as Speaker, do you believe it’s appropriate to use American cities as training grounds for the military, calling those people ‘the enemy within’?”

Holy Mike: “I’m not commenting on your characterization of what the president said.”

Stephanopoulos: “those are quotes. they are not characterizations.”

Holy Mike: “well you can take his quotes out of context, which you often do, and I don’t think that’s fair to the president.”

ah, there we go. that’s what all these cowardly Republican shitheads do when called upon defend one of Donny’s crazypants mouth-farts: whine about how it’s so unfair for Dear Leader’s words to be taken out of context.

taken out of what context? there’s only one context, that of a demented sadist horny to inflict suffering and death on cities that displease him.

but wait, Holy Mike’s not done being a shithead.

here’s a name you need to know: Adelita Grijalva.

Grijalva, a Democrat from Arizona’s 7th district, was elected to the House last week. she replaces her father, the late Raúl Grijalva, who died while in office. here’s a fun, awesome fact about Adelita: once sworn in, she’ll be the 218th — and deciding — vote in favor of Thomas Massie’s discharge petition to release the full Epstein Files.

so, if she was elected a week ago, why the fuck hasn’t she been sworn in yet?

I just explained why, weren’t you listening? she hasn’t been sworn in specifically because she’s the deciding vote to force the release of the Epstein Files — and Holy Mike doesn’t want any of that shit to happen.

if Grijalva were a Republican, and a reliable no vote for Massie’s petition, Holy Mike would have sworn her in the moment her plane landed in DC. but she’s not.

so, Adelita sits and waits. what’s that old saying? oh yeah: justice delayed is justice denied. release the full, unedited Epstein Files, you fucking fucks.


here’s the next shithead on our list: Vice President Couchfuck McGee.

the White House sent the furniture molester out to do Shutdown Damage Control yesterday, and he used his time to play a vigorous round of Things That Never Happened The Most.

“if you’re an American citizen and you’ve been to the hospital in the last few years, you’ve probably noticed that wait times are especially large and very often somebody who’s there in the emergency room, waiting, is an illegal alien, very often it’s a person who can’t speak speak English. why do those people get healthcare benefits at hospitals paid for by American citizens? the answer is a decision made by the Biden administration.”

fact check: go fuck a couch.

the reason that any person can go to an emergency room and get treatment is the Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act, which was signed into law by that well-known commie marxist radical leftist lunatic, Ronald Reagan, in 1986.


but Couchfuck never passes up an opportunity to demonize immigrants. he wants you to imagine that you can’t get treatment, because ERs nationwide have all been overrun by swarthy hordes going ‘help me, doctor, I was eating my neighbor’s pets and I dropped the skillet on my foot, and now my big toe is all hurty.’

but I have a question: where was Donny? why wasn’t the Mad King out there, taking questions from the press? that fucker loves a camera.

there was only one item on Donny’s official schedule yesterday: another executive order dog-and-pony show.

and unless I missed something, I’m pretty sure even that didn’t happen — or, at the least, Donny signed orders without making a show of it in front of the press, which seems super fucking unlikely.

and there’s nothing public on Donny official schedule for today.

here we go again. the desperately-needy attention-trollop who can’t go fifteen minutes without finding a camera to stand in front of is missing in action, in the middle of the juiciest story of the year: a government shutdown. you would figure he would have endless bullshit to say about it — so where is he?

is Donny having another mysterious medical event that we’ll never get told about?

or maybe Preznit Fuckwit is out of sight because he’s hard at work bringing an end to the seventeen thousandth imaginary war — which, by the way, the whole fucking world is laughing at us over.

need proof? here’s a thing that just happened right now, while I’m in the middle of writing this piece:

U.S. President Donald Trump’s geographic confusion was the butt of a joke between world leaders at a summit Thursday.

Albanian Prime Minister Edi Rama was filmed poking fun with French President Emmanuel Macron and Azerbaijan’s President Ilham Aliyev at the European Political Community meeting in Copenhagen on Thursday.

“You should make an apology … to us because you didn’t congratulate us on the peace deal that President Trump made between Albania and Azerbaijan,” Rama told Macron, leading Aliyev to burst out laughing.

“I am sorry for that,” Macron joked.

here’s the video:

tell me, is there a Nobel Prize for being a complete fucking embarrassment?


ooks like we have time for one more shithead: Noseferatu McGoebbels.

listen to this over-amped maniac salivate over the idea of a military invasion of Memphis. he’s apparently hopped up on the kind of sugar high you can only get from biting the heads off of live bats.

“all that bullshit is done, over, it’s finished. the gangbangers you deal with — they think they’re ruthless? they have no idea how ruthless we are. they think they’re tough? they have no idea how tough we are. they think they’re hardcore? we are so much more hardcore than they are.”

lighten the fuck up, tough guy. who’s ‘we’? Nosferatu McGoebbels is what would happen if ‘oh yeah? you and what army?’ became a real boy.

I have, as always, a question: why is Stephen Miller calling in air strikes on Venezuelan fishermen?

Stephen Miller, the White House deputy chief of staff, has played a leading role in directing US strikes against suspected Venezuelan drug boats, according to three people familiar with the situation. At times, his role has superseded that of Marco Rubio, the secretary of state and national security adviser.

I don’t know much about militarying, but I’m pretty sure that White House deputy chief of staff isn’t supposed to be part of the chain of command.

‘there’s a boat in the water? oh, I’m sorry, neither the president nor the secretary of state is available right now, but here’s the chief of staff’s assistant.’

yeah, let’s put an undead racist in charge of deciding which fishing boats get blown to fuck. what could possibly go wrong?


and now — because you’ve earned it by reading down this far — here’s your hero of the day: Democratic Rep. Madeleine Dean.

yesterday, Rep. Dean cornered Holy Mike in the halls of Congress and got him to make a very interesting confession.

Madeleine Dean: “the president is unhinged. he is unwell.”

Holy Mike: “a lot of folks on your side are, too.”

Dean: “oh my god, please. that performance in front of the generals?”

Holy Mike: “I didn’t see it.”

Dean: “it’s so dangerous! our allies are looking elsewhere. our enemies are laughing. you have a president who is unwell.”

did you catch that? when Dean said Donny was unhinged and unwell, Holy Mike didn’t say ‘no he isn’t’ — he said a lot of folks on your side are, too.’

‘too.’

Republicans know their Mad King is fucking nuts. they all know.

let’s go. 25th Amendment now. after which, release the Epstein Files.


this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Dear Democrats In Congress

Jefferies & Schumer are not meeting the moment.

Now is not the time for “sternly worded letters” and disappointed dad speeches.

Now is the time for naming and shaming.

Now is the time for fire and brimstone.

Now is the time meeting fire with fire and if you are not up to then make way for those that can!

Monday Tiedrich

An increasingly popular conspiracy theory falsely centers around the existence of “med beds,” a fabled medical instrument that does everything from reversing aging to regrowing missing limbs. The theory has grown in popularity among followers of far-right movements like QAnon, some of whom claim to be urgently awaiting a med bed to treat severe health conditions.

that’s right: after spending a hard day trafficking children out of the basement of a pizza parlor that has no basement, Hillary Clinton returns home to Chappaqua, lies down on her medbed, and regrows all her missing limbs.

and it’s not just the email lady who’s benefiting from this mythical tech — so is Bobby Brainworms’ uncle Jack.

The group falsely believes that John F. Kennedy is still alive and youthful, and attributes his remarkable longevity to the curative powers of med beds.

as with all things QAnon, it’s dumb as fuck and makes no sense.

if there really were a medbed, wouldn’t Joe Biden have been using one all along? wouldn’t Donny? wouldn’t Glitch McConnell and the seven-hundred-and-fifty-eight-year-old Chuck Grassley? wouldn’t everyone at the top level of government be running around youthful and getting up into highjinks, as if they were in the movie Cocoon?

https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IVG8!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcba21d99-3ee4-41a7-98b0-f29b2c0a44b1_400x222.gif

it’s all so obviously bogus, and yet Donny was fooled by a fake video of a fake himself, doing fake things. he saw himself doing things never did, and accepted it without question. holy fucking shit.

Sunday morning, one of Donny’s handlers deleted the video — but the internet never forgets.

folks, this is some crazy fucking shit. we should all be alarmed that the president’s brain has gone fuckity-bye.

none of this is normal.

and it’s becoming increasingly clear that Donny’s own sewer clowns are aware that Dear Leader has gone Full Nutso. they work around him, and feed him disinformation and feel-good stories — and they’ve cut him out of the loop. they don’t even bother to clue him in to their own fuckery any more.