Category: FUCK TRUMP

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Monday Tiedrich

look, everything may totally fucking suck right now, what with the economy in tatters, our foreign policy circling the drain, and armed fascists running amok on the streets of our cities — but at least the president of the United States is crazier than a shithouse rat. so we’ve got that going for us.

let me give you fair warning: you are now about to enter Crazytown. population: Donny.

holy fucking shit. this is some seriously deranged stuff. it’s some Hitler-in-the-bunker-level ranting.

let’s see if I can rationally explain what Dear Leader is losing his shit over. the National Trust ⁠for Historic Preservation is suing Donny to block construction of the Epstein Dance Hall where the East Wing used to be.

The National Trust sued Trump and several federal agencies in December, arguing the project has proceeded without required approvals, environmental review or congressional authorization.

of course the project proceeded without going through any of those proper channels. that’s not how a Mad King rolls. Donny simply had a demolition crew just show up one day to tear that shit down, before anyone had a chance to react.

but what’s even worse for Donny is that the judge assigned to the case seems inclined to agree with the Trust.

At a hearing in a lawsuit brought by the National Trust ⁠for Historic Preservation, U.S. District Judge Richard Leon raised doubts about whether Trump had statutory power to tear down the East ‌Wing with plans to build a ballroom in its place without approval or oversight from the ⁠U.S. Congress.

Leon snapped, “Come on, be serious,” after a lawyer for the administration drew parallels to the construction of a pool during the Gerald Ford administration in the 1970s and to other smaller renovations.

and this is Donny’s reaction to being told ‘no’: to power-load an infinite series of diapers, and melt all the way down on his crappy app.

he’s a fucking child — one with a persecution complex. who fucking talks like this?

“But no, as usual, I got sued, this time by the Radical Left National (No!)Trust for Historic Preservation, a group that couldn’t care less about our Country!”

a delusional narcissist, that’s who talks like that. inside Donny rat-infested brain, the National Trust can’t possibly be an impartial organization tasked with the preservation of our historic landmarks. oh no — if you oppose one of Donny’s fuckbrained schemes, you’re now part of some mythical ‘radical left,’ hell-bent on destroying the country.

I’ll bet the staid bureaucrats of the Historic Trust never thought they’d be labeled ‘enemies of the state.’

but that, my friends, is now the guiding principle of the MAGAsphere: ‘if you disagree with me, you’re the enemy — and if you’re mean to me, I can’t help what comes next.’

let’s watch as Obergruppenführer Greg Bovino — that adorable little Fascist In A Teacup™ — applies this principle to the death and chaos he’s perpetrated in Minneapolis.

“when politicians, community leaders and some journalists engage in that heated rhetoric we keep talking about, when they make the choice to vilify law enforcement, calling law enforcement names like ‘Gestapo,’ or using the term ‘kidnapping,’ that is a choice that is made. there are actions and consequences that come from those choices.”

Gestapo Greg says what?

I’m sorry, Greg — are we hurting your fragile fee-fees by calling you and your lawless masked thugs ‘Gestapo’? well, here’s a free clue: maybe don’t act like Nazis, and we won’t have any reason to call you Nazis. if the jackboot fits, wear it, am I right?

and while we’re on the subject, maybe also don’t dress like you’re in some dinner-theater production of Springtime for Hitler.

but let’s look at the darker side of Obergruppenführer Greg’s message: ‘there are actions and consequences that come from those choices.’

excuse me? we’re now being warned to expect ‘consequences’ from the ‘choice’ of calling a fascist a fascist? on what fucking planet? that ain’t the way it works in America, pal. name-calling is not a capital crime. at least not yet it isn’t.

but this is the rhetoric we’ve been hearing from the Donnyverse ever since Renee Good got gunned down in her car. ‘look at what you made us do.’

“we gotta stop the hateful rhetoric. saying this officer is a murderer is dangerous. it’s just ridiculous. it’s just gonna infuriate people more which means there’s gonna be more incidents like this.”

that was Tom Homan, in the days following Renee Good’s summary execution, warning us to keep our mouths shut, if we don’t want more of the same.

once again, this is classic abuser language: ‘look what you made us do.’

getting back to Obergruppenführer Greg’s soundbite, where he whines about‘vilifying law enforcement’ — let’s be clear about one thing: the actions of the masked ICE thugs can in no way be called ‘law enforcement.’ no actual laws are being ‘enforced’ by ICE on the streets of Minneapolis. it’s state-sponsored terrorism, is what it is.

Krazee-Eyes Kash Patel: “you cannot bring a firearm, loaded, with multiple magazines, to any sort of protest that you want. it’s that simple. you don’t have a right to break the law.”

BZZZT! wrong answer.

Under the Second Amendment and MN Stat. 624.714, permit holders may legally carry firearms in public, including during protests. The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that public carry is a constitutional right. Carrying a firearm does not legally constitute “inciting violence.”

I’m so old, I remember what Republicans loved the shit out of people who brought guns to protests.

remember these shitwits?

these MAGA morons were so mad about being asked to lock down and mask up against COVID that they festooned themselves with weapons of mass death and protested inside the Michigan Statehouse.

nobody arrested them. nobody shot them point-blank in the back of their head. in fact, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex lauded them as patriotic heroes of freedom.

and how about these fucknuts?

this is Patricia and Mark McCloskey, reacting in most perfectly normal way to protesters who were simply passing by their house. these paranoid weirdos weren’t gunned down on the spot. in fact, they were honored as keynote speakers at the 2020 Republican National Convention.

and when teenage incel Kyle Rittenhouse brought a weapon to a protest and actually killed people, do you know who defended his ‘right’ to do so? Kash Patel.

“Kash Patel on Kyle Rittenhouse: ‘Where is the due process?’”

excuse me, but where the fuck was Alex Pretti’s due process? he kept his weapon holstered, never drew it, never brandished it — and now he’s dead, thanks to Obergruppenführer Greg’s Gestapo.

our one saving grace amidst all this carnage may well be Donny’s compulsion to overreach and clownfuck his own agenda.

it turns out that Second Amendment absolutists fucking hate it when you try to tell them where they can or can’t bring guns.

“But we must also maintain our core values as a nation, including the right to protest and assemble.”

let’s be clear: Senator Ricketts is not our friend. he’s an asshole who is totally down with ICE disappearing immigrants off the streets of our cities. but he does draw the line at the summary execution of protesters. lucky us.

holy shit, Donny’s even pissed off the NRA. here’s their response to Bill Essayli, one of Donny’s hand-picked MAGAfied US Attorneys, who said, ‘if you approach law enforcement with a gun, there is a high likelihood they will be legally justified in shooting you.’

“This sentiment from the First Assistant U.S. Attorney for the Central District of California is dangerous and wrong. responsible public voices should be awaiting a full investigation, not making generalizations and demonizing law-abiding citizens.”

oh, and the nonsense that Bill Essayli farted out about cops being legally justified in shooting anyone possessing a gun? it’s completely fucking wrong.

The U.S. Constitution (particularly the 2nd, 4th, and 14th amendments) prohibit officers from shooting citizens merely for possessing a weapon that is not an “imminent threat”. This was reaffirmed in Graham v Connor, which says force must be reasonable.

Donny’s moving too fast, being too reckless and breaking too much shit in the process. none of the fuckery Donny is perpetrating is sustainable, and very little of it is popular.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll keep saying it — because I will never stop believing it’s true: someday, this war’s gonna end.

here are your heroes of the day: the good people of Nuuk, Greenland.

that’s a message the whole world can get behind.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Posted on

Don’t Give In To Nihilism

ICE Field Marshall Greg Bovino, The Desert Brat

From Mock Paper  Scissors:

It’s way too easy to feel hopeless and powerless, and that is what shadow president S.S. Stephen Miller and his Gestapo want.

But we do have power when the Senate returns to work next week. You see, the Senate will vote on the bill recently passed in the House to fund ICE and the rest of the Department of Homeland Security. If a bill is not passed by the end of the month, DHS will shut down.

That’s our opportunity, and we must seize it.

Democrats cannot fund ICE after what has happened in Minnesota.

Look, I get it: it’s politically risky. Democrats will be tar’ed and feather’ed as being lawless illegal alien sympathizers and whatnot. But they are already being called that and worse. There’s really not much to lose for us to stand up to the killers and bullies. But there’s a lot more that we can lose if we don’t. When we lose faith in the future, we lose it all.

It’s a moral imperative that we fight the Republicans like our lives depend on it, because our lives do depend on it. There is a higher calling here, people have already died. The First They Came poem has become a trope, but it is also more applicable now than ever.

Senate Democrats (and sweet Jeebus I hope some Republicans join them) must come together to block the bill and send a message to the country that what ICE is doing cannot stand.

Everyone of us must contact our Senators —regardless of party— and demand that they put an end to this atrocity that is happening in our names. Tell them you’ve got their backs, too. 

(And I’ll kill the suspense: already I have heard back from both my Senators Murray and Cantwell(!!!) saying that they will vote against this. Next up: Chuck Schumer. My pen pall club is growing.)

Contact your Representative by clicking HERE

Contact your Senators by clicking HERE

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Midweek Tiedrich

let’s start with a bang, and put our Hero of the Day right up top.

here’s Anders Vistisen, Danish politician and member of the European Parliament, speaking for the entire world.

“let me put this in words you might understand: Mr. President, fuck off.”

it must be said that Anders Vistisen is not our friend. he’s as far-right as they come — and it is absolutely heartbreaking to have to note that it took a Nazi to speak bluntly to Dear Leader.

yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of Donny’s second reign — so naturally, preening peacock held a victory lap, in the form of an excruciatingly long, incoherent shit-show of a press conference.

let’s gaze in awe as Donny encounters a tool for the first time, and learns to master it.

whoops, wrong clip. sorry. here you go, here’s President Hominid, mastering a new tool.

“here’s, uh, the book on— accomplishments. and this is something— woo, I’m glad my finger wasn’t in that sucker. [hold up binder clip] that could have done some damage, but you know what? I wouldn’t have shown the pain. I would have gone back. boy did you hear that? that was nasty. but I would not have shown the pain. I would have acted like nothing happened, as my finger fell off. that was nasty. I think somebody did that. [points to camera] it was him. it was my man. how are you? you didn’t do it. I know you didn’t. I know you didn’t. so, uh—”

hey, you know what, Donny? fuck off. it was a paper clip. stop being a drama queen.

thank god Donny’s bone spurs weren’t acting up, and preventing him from heroically winning the War of the Binder Clip.

that pile of papers Donny’s brandishing in the above clip, that’s his list of ‘365 wins.’ that’s what the whole presser was about, Donny bragging about his (imaginary) wins.

let’s check out just one of them, number 243.

#243 says: “Stripped notorious crackhead and grifter Hunter Biden of his taxpayer-funded Secret Service detail.”

Donny, fuck off. that’s not a ‘win’ — that’s the act of a toxic piece of shit obsessed with settling scores.

hey, where do you think ‘suppressing the Dead Pedo Bestie Files’ was in Donny’s list of wins? I’d have put it at number one.

now excuse me, but what the fuck is this, and where does ‘blithering like a lunatic’ land on Donny’s win list?

“we had in my area in Queens, I grew up in Queens, we had a place called Creedmore. Creedmore. does anybody know that? Creedmore. it was a big— I said ‘mom, why are those— bars on the building?’ I used to play little league baseball— there. a place called Cunningham Park. I was quite the baseball player. you couldn’t believe it. but I said to my mother, ‘mom—’ she would be there always there for me, she said ‘son, you could be a professional baseball player.’ I said ‘thanks mom.’ I said, ‘why are those bars on the windows?’ big building. big, powerful building that loomed over the park, actually. she said, ‘well, people that are very sick are in that building.’ I said, ‘boy.’ I used to always look at that building and I’d see— big building, big, tall building, it loomed over the park, sort of. now that I think of it, I think it was pretty unfriendly, sad. but I— I’ll never forget— I don’t know if it’s still there.”

get the idea? it was a big, tall building — powerful, in fact, with tears in its eyes.

of course, that fascinating anecdote took place in the old days, when Donny used to tie an onion to his belt, which was the style at the time.

so, what was the press doing, while Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants’ brain was visibly leaking out of his ears? just what they always do: sitting there like useless lumps, nodding their heads. this is probably a good place to note that my What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Challenge™ is now in its 2,122nd day.

instead of any ‘what the fuck’ bravery, we just got the the usual fresh load of horse shit. here’s NPR’s Mara Liasson’s hot take.

“And what else struck me about this press conference was how similar Trump and Biden were. Both of them tried to convince Americans that the economy was a lot better than voters’ own experience of the economy is.”

worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press, please stop it with this both-sides nonsense.

we’re one year into this nightmare, and the press is still normalizing and sanewashing Donny’s outright fascism.

“President Donald Trump has commanded attention during his second term. From military interventions to controversial social media posts, the Republican has rewritten the presidency’s role in a divided country.”

oh please, fuck straight off with this tepid pablum.

Donny isn’t ‘rewriting the role of the presidency.’ he’s pouring gasoline all over the Constitution and setting a fucking match to it — and by dancing around the issue couching it in oh-so-polite terms, the press is aiding and abetting him.

Gavin Newsom is in Davos this week, and he’s got a message for the gathered world leaders: cut the bullshit, and stop kowtowing to Donny.

“it’s time buck up. it’s time to get serious. stop being complicit. it’s time to stand tall and firm. have a backbone. I’ve seen this in the United States. playing Congress, playing both sides, saying one thing in a text or tweet, another publicly. it’s time to have principles. it’s time to stand tall. it’s time to stand united. have principles. I can’t take this complicity. people rolling over. I should have brought a bunch of knee pads for all the world leaders. I mean, handing out crowns, this is pathetic. Nobel Prizes that are being given away. it’s just pathetic. and I hope people understand how pathetic they look on the world stage. I mean, at least from an American perspective. it’s embarrassing. one thing they can’t do is what they’ve been doing, and they’ve been played. this guy’s playing folks for fools, and it’s embarrassing.”

Gavin is spot fucking on — because world leaders have indeed spent a year flattering Donny, and appeasing him, hoping that by stroking his unquenchable ego, they could somehow magically come out on top.

in case you’ve forgotten, South Korea really did literally give Donny his very own crown.

what did South Korea end up getting in return? not one fucking thing.

yet the flattery and kowtowing goes on, right up to into the new year. we even saw it yesterday, in the text message from Macron that Donny posted on his shitty app. look at this obsequious drek.

“my friend.” “we are totally in line.” “let us try to build great things.” “let’s have lunch, I’ll invite whoever you want to.”

oh please. Donny is laughing his ginormous ass off at what a fool you are.

hey, you know who else thought he could flatter his way to victory?

this homey. Neville Chamberlain, pictured here with his best bud, Adolf Whats-His-Name.

in 1938, Chamberlain came up with an awesome idea: all Europe had to do was flatter old Adolf, tell him what a great guy he is — and if they him keep Sudetenland, that’ll satisfy him, and he’ll leave the rest of the world alone.

come on, Adolf. let’s do lunch. I’ll invite whoever you want.

tell me, how did flattery and appeasement work out for Europe?

Anders Vistisen, can you step back in here for a moment and remind that everyone tyrants need to spoken to in the only language they understand?

“let me put this in words you might understand: Mr. President, fuck off.”

thanks, bro. now get your right-wing ass out of my sight.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Posted on

Sunday Tiedrich

is the leader of your country crazier than a shithouse rat? is he out wandering in the tall weeds, where the buses don’t run? is he a few sandwiches short of a fucking brain?

here’s one sure way to tell: does he spend his time rage-posting stark barking bonkers threats to take over other countries?

fact check for the United States: yes, he does. lucky us.

holy. fucking shit. 445 words — every single one of them delusional.

this may be the dumbfuckiest thing Donny’s ever posted. there’s no polite way of sugar-coating this: Dear Leader is coo-coo for cocoa puffs.

before we even begin wading through the content of this crazypants post, we need to remind ourselves that we’ve become so normalized to Donny’s behavior, it’s easy to forget that how utterly fucking insane it is.

it’s not normal for a head of state to spend all day and all night crapping out hundreds of posts an hour onto an app he paid someone to create after getting banned from twitter for doing an insurrection.

and on no planet is it normal for a world leader to conduct high-level foreign policy via a medium that was invented for looking at cat pictures and gossiping about celebrities.

no other president or prime minister does this. France’s Macron isn’t up all night whining about every grievance on some crappy app he’s named La Vérité Sociale. he has better things to do with his time. oh, and he’s a mature adult, not some diapershitting rage-baby.

that said, let us now gird the shit out of our loins, and take a deep dive into Donny’s post. all girded up? okay, here we go.

We have subsidized Denmark, and all of the Countries of the European Union, and others, for many years by not charging them Tariffs, or any other forms of remuneration. Now, after Centuries, it is time for Denmark to give back — World Peace is at stake! China and Russia want Greenland, and there is not a thing that Denmark can do about it. They currently have two dogsleds as protection, one added recently. Only the United States of America, under PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP, can play in this game, and very successfully, at that!

delusions of grandeur much?

Donny might as well just shove a Napoleon hat onto his head and declare himself Emperor of the Universe.

fun fact: we already have a US military base in Greenland. we can already defend the country if need be — and trust me, China and Russia couldn’t give a fuck about Greenland. it’s of no strategic value to them, and Greenland’s resources are too expensive to extract.

Nobody will touch this sacred piece of Land,

this is where you can invoke the ‘in my pants’ rule. ‘nobody will touch this sacred piece of land — in my pants.’

especially since the National Security of the United States, and the World at large, is at stake. On top of everything else, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, The United Kingdom, The Netherlands, and Finland have journeyed to Greenland, for purposes unknown.

not for ‘purposes unknown,’ you deranged rodeo clown.

eight NATO countries have taken the extraordinary step of pledging military support for Greenland — to protect them from a maniac who spends his idle hours pointing at random countries on a globe and going ‘mine now.’

it’s as if Donny is starring in a version of Charlie Chaplin’s The Great Dictator — except one that’s not funny.

oh wait, we already had a version of The Great Dictator that wasn’t funny. it was called The Third Reich.

look at where we are right now, thanks to Donny’s imperialistic fever dreams: it’s us versus NATO. can you fucking imagine that? we used to lead NATO, and now we’re a pariah state.

ace job, Donny. take a fucking victory lap. our next president is going to have so much to clean up after, that it’s going to take years to glue all the pieces back together.

Greenland wants no part of becoming America’s fifty-whatever state. there were massive demonstrations in Greenland and Denmark yesterday. look at the cool hat they came up with for the occasion.

now that’s a MAGA I can get behind.

by the way, over two hundred thousand Danes have signed a petition to buy California from America, which would be the most hilarious thing ever.

anyway, back to Donny’s post—

This is a very dangerous situation for the Safety, Security, and Survival of our Planet. These Countries, who are playing this very dangerous game, have put a level of risk in play that is not tenable or sustainable.

‘a level of risk in play that is not sustainable’ — in my pants.

Therefore, it is imperative that, in order to protect Global Peace and Security, strong measures be taken so that this potentially perilous situation end quickly, and without question. Starting on February 1st, 2026, all of the above mentioned Countries (Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, The United Kingdom, The Netherlands, and Finland), will be charged a 10% Tariff on any and all goods sent to the United States of America. On June 1st, 2026, the Tariff will be increased to 25%. This Tariff will be due and payable until such time as a Deal is reached for the Complete and Total purchase of Greenland.

tariffs again — because why not? let’s have a trade war and a land war. what could possibly go wrong?

sure, let’s punish American shoppers and raise the price of everything — again — because Donny’s Big Mad about NATO not letting him do an imperialism.

tell me, what ever happened to the lie about how tariffs were going to make everything cheaper? Donny’s not even bothering to spin that bullshit any more. now he’s just using tariffs to punish other counties who won’t obey his orders — because Donny doesn’t care how, he wants Greenland now.

The United States has been trying to do this transaction for over 150 years. Many Presidents have tried, and for good reason, but Denmark has always refused.

fact check: holy shit, Donny said something that’s actually true. three times in the past, we’ve floated the idea of buying Greenland from Denmark. in each instance, the Danes politely declined. you know why? because they’re a sovereign fucking nation, and have the right to say no. oh silly me, I forgot that Donny isn’t big on consent.

Now, because of The Golden Dome, and Modern Day Weapons Systems, both Offensive and Defensive, the need to ACQUIRE is especially important.

‘the need to ACQUIRE is especially important’ — in my pants.

Hundreds of Billions of Dollars are currently being spent on Security Programs having to do with “The Dome,” including for the possible protection of Canada, and this very brilliant, but highly complex system can only work at its maximum potential and efficiency, because of angles, metes, and bounds, if this Land is included in it.

again with the ‘Golden Dome,’ Donny’s own version of Reagan’s ‘Star Wars’ missile defense shield — except this one’s batshittier, more unpractical and more expensive than St. Ronnie’s ever was. and it’s gold, because of course it is. this fucking child and his infantile obsession with gold.

I have an idea. instead of flushing hundreds of billion of dollars down the toilet on an unworkable waste of time that will never be built, why don’t we have affordable healthcare in our country?

silly me for even asking. you don’t have to say it, I’ll just go proactively fuck myself.

The United States of America is immediately open to negotiation with Denmark and/or any of these Countries that have put so much at risk, despite all that we have done for them, including maximum protection, over so many decades. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

‘thank you for your attention to this matter’ — in my pants.

DONALD J. TRUMP
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

ugh.

oh, and that wasn’t Donny only batshit post from yesterday. he also took time to whine about Joe Biden’s autopen.

“Everyone is asking about the Autopen?”

‘what about the autopen’ — in my pants.

“There must be a price to pay, and it has got to be a BIG ONE!”

everybody say it with me: ‘there has got to be a BIG ONE’ — in my pants.

it’s definitely time to do a palate cleanse with our hero of the day: Abigail Spanberger, who was sworn into office yesterday, becoming Virginia’s first woman governor.

what was one of her first acts of office? to end her Republican predecessor’s kowtowing to Donny’s personal gestapo.

On her first day as Governor, Abigail Spanberger made a decisive move: she vetoed Executive Order 47, ending Virginia’s participation in the federal 287(g) program that allowed local law enforcement to act as ICE agents.

awesome. more like this, please.

have a great Sunday, everyone.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Posted on

Will Humanity Ever Outgrow This Bullshit?

Greg Bovino cosplaying Local Gruppenführer

You like playing a WWII German, Greg? Well, here’s a nice German word for you:

How many times do we need to go through this? Is it going to be every generation’s burden to smash these fascist assholes into the ground going forward, or is there some way to purge this Nazi bullshit from human consciousness once and for all?

This does not lead to the Star Trek future so many of us actively envision and want. (Granted, there were Nazis in Star Trek canon but they were on a single planet whose society had been poisoned by a rogue Star Fleet captain. And then there was the whole “alternate universe” thing introduced in some of the more recent series, but for the most part, that was not where humans in the Star Trek universe went.)

What do you think? Are we destined to forever ride this karmic wheel, switching roles between aggressor and victim each lifetime ad nauseum?

Posted on

Hair Füror: “Don’t you know a joke when you hear one?”

Don’t panic. This is just another attempt to distract from the Epstein files (which are now nearly a year beyond the date set by Congress for full release.)

From Mock Paper Scissors:

The Orange 🤡  told Reuters that he’s doing such a good job that “when you think of it, we shouldn’t even have an election.”

Semi-sentient jar of Mayonnaise Karoline Leavitt soon  walked it back, insisting he was “simply joking.”

Hair Füror is such a kidder, he enjoys a good laugh at his own expense, amirite?

Anyway, yesterday when we talking about it, I only mentioned how cancelling the elections would cause the government to stop functioning, but I left out all the reasons why Hair Füror cannot cancel the elections,I probably should not have been so fast.

(But we’ve talked about it many times, too).

That said, Taegan Goddard has enumerated the many reasons in his email thingie to paid subscribers, and breaking protocol, here’s what he said:

The president has no authority to cancel elections. Federal elections are governed by the Constitution and federal law, but they are administered by the states. There is no executive order, emergency declaration, or legal loophole that allows a president to simply call them off.

Elections are decentralized by design. The United States doesn’t have a single national election authority. Elections are run by 50 states and thousands of local jurisdictions. Secretaries of state, county clerks, and local election boards do not report to the White House — and they can’t be ordered to “stand down.”

Congress can’t be forced to cooperate. Even if Trump wanted to nullify elections in practice, there is no mechanism to compel Republican members of Congress to resign, suspend terms, or support canceling elections.

The logistics make it unworkable. Elections involve tens of thousands of polling places, millions of ballots, and armies of local workers and volunteers. There is no realistic way for a president to shut down that infrastructure nationwide.

That’s why off-year elections, special elections, and local contests continue to move forward regardless of what Trump says. The system is intentionally fragmented to prevent exactly this kind of abuse.

Trump can complain about elections. He can delegitimize them rhetorically. He can try to undermine trust in the results.

But actually stopping them? That’s a very different thing.

I’m just not worried about that; I know I’m always warning people to not confuse actual scandals with distractions, but this was a distraction.

 

Posted on

Midweek Tiedrich

loyal and patriotic citizens, please stand by for a message of the utmost importance from the President of the United States, Supreme Ruler of the Western Hemisphere, Lord-Emperor of the Sky Above and All the Planets, and God’s Own Avatar on Earth.

ready? here’s the message: ‘fuck you.’

Trump makes obscene gesture, mouths expletive at Detroit factory heckler

“As far as calling him out, definitely no regrets whatsoever,” the heckler told The Post after a video captured Trump twice mouthing “f— you” and raising his middle finger.

here’s how that shit went down: Donny’s handlers got the bright idea to let him out of his gilded bordello, so he could tour a Ford factory in Detroit — and that’s when factory worker TJ Sabula won himself the Nobel Heckling Prize by shouting “pedophile protector!” at Dear Leader.

Out of frame in the video, a person can be heard yelling “pedophile protector” just before Trump mouthed the insult — an apparent reference to the Trump administration’s handling of the investigation into the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

‘an apparent reference’ — oh, Washington Post, you’re adorable. never change.

did Donny simply ignore the taunt and get on with his life, as any dignified leader would? of course he didn’t. the fragile dipshit just couldn’t let it pass. he replied ‘fuck you’ twice, and then gave Sabula the finger.

another day, another perfectly presidential performance from our Toddler-in-Chief.

by the way, Ford has suspended TJ Sabula, ‘pending an investigation.’

I have a question: pending an investigation of what? is Ford going to investigate whether or not Donny protects pedophiles? because we’ve already sussed that shit out.

fact check:

should anyone really be surprised by Dear Leader’s infantile behavior? after all, Donny’s been giving us the finger for years now, on a daily basis.

what, you want sane governance? fuck you. you want peace and justice? fuck you. you want coherent economic policies? fuck you.

you want honesty and accountability? fuck you. you want a president who doesn’t lie straight to your face? fuck you.

you want a president who doesn’t use the government to enrich himself? fuck you. you want a president who doesn’t see you as a rube to be fleeced? fuck you.

you want to be able to walk down the street without getting assaulted by masked and armed government thugs? fuck you.

you want to see those Dead Pedo Bestie files? fuck you twice.

here’s Preznit Fuckyou on his way to Detroit.

reporter: “the premier of Greenland said today, ‘we prefer to stay with Denmark.’”

Donny: “who said that?”

reporter: “the premier of Greenland.”

Donny: “well, that’s their problem. that’s their problem. I disagree with him. I don’t know who he is. don’t know anything about him. but that’s gonna be a big problem for him.”

‘that’s going to be a big problem for him’? what the fuck? this isn’t how a head of government talks. this is how a gangster talks. Donny’s answer could have come straight out of the mouth of Tony Soprano.

what, you want a president who doesn’t sound like a mob boss? fuck you.

you want a president who at least bothers to learn the names of the people who lead the countries he’s so horny to invade? fuck you.

you want a president who doesn’t destabilize the world just to feed his ego, and shit all over decades-old alliances? fuck you.

Donny didn’t just tour that Ford factory during his playdate. he also gave a speech to the Detroit Economic Club.

naturally, he used the occasion to rehash every batshit grievance — real or imagined — rattling around in his big dumb pumpkin head.

“how about the swimming records? I mean you could go to sleep during the time the man comes in and the woman. you could go take a nap for a little while. how about the long-distance race that took place not so long ago? long long distances. marathon deals. they had top men, top women. man came in. THE WOMAN CAME IN FIVE HOURS AND FOURTEEN MINUTES AND THIRTY-SIX SECONDS behind the man. think of it. you’re waiting. the man comes in. now you’re waiting five hours. what do you do? you can go home and sleep for a while. who the hell wants that? it’s so demeaning to women who are great athletes. demeaning to them. and it’s right now in the Supreme Court. I can’t believe it would even go to the Supreme Court.”

what the fuck is Donny gibbering about? what does any of the fever-swamp nonsense that just seeped from his rancid anus-mouth have to do with economics?

what, you want a president whose rotting brain doesn’t pinball incoherently from one subject to the next? fuck you.

you want a president who doesn’t obsess over stupid bullshit? fuck you.

you want a president who doesn’t manage to be both transphobic and misogynistic at the same time? fuck you.

what, you want a president with an ounce of empathy for the woman who was gunned down by one of his own armed thugs? fuck you.

“one of the reasons they’re doing these fake riots— I mean they’re just terrible. I mean you see it’s so fake. ‘shame! shame! shame!’ you see the woman. it’s all practiced. they go practice. they go to— there is— they take hotel rooms and they all practice together. it’s a whole same. we’re finding out whose funding all this stuff, too. we pretty much know.”

once again: what the fuck is this lunatic babbling about? none of that shit is happening. nobody is ‘rioting,’ they’re peacefully protesting — and what even is a ‘fake riot’? women aren’t practicing in hotel rooms. nobody is getting paid to protest. We the People loathe Donny so much we’ll happily protest for free.

this the stupidest shit you’ll hear all day, and Donny believes every word of it.

what, you want a president whose brain hasn’t been pickled from marinating in the dumbfuckiest of conspiracy theories? fuck you.

the ‘fuck your feelings’ crowd is sure having a lot of feelings right now.

Laura Ingraham: “there was one dimwit in the scene who screamed something about Epstein. Trump flipped him the bird. I hope it was the thunderbird.”

hey, Laura, you know what? fuck your feelings.

good lord. if Joe Biden had ever flipped off a factory worker in public, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex would have shit a massive brick, and turned it into a month-long scandal.

here’s a fun post from Lincoln Square Media.

Our Detroit staff has received reports from Ford workers that the President’s body odor was ‘like bad breath mixed with feces — I can’t describe it, but I’ll never forget it.’ yikes.”

is it true? who the fuck knows? it’s certainly believable.

and lastly, let me leave you with some words of wisdom.

live your life in such a way that when you die, your obituaries don’t open with how you were such a ginormous racist asshole that you fucked your own career straight into the shitter.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Posted on

Sunday Tiedrich

it’s been nine days since Prenit Fuckwit waged his glorious Three-Hour War against Venezuela, declared permanent victory and preened for the cameras.

now that Maduro — the thieving rat-bastard who had the temerity to steal Donny’s slick dance moves — has been kidnapped from his Caracas home and chucked into some hellhole jailhouse in Brooklyn, I’ll bet Venezuela has become a paradise on Earth. I’ll bet its grateful citizens are throwing flowers at Americans right now, and hailing them as liberators. it’s probably a—

oh dear.

The United States has urged its citizens to leave Venezuela immediately amid reports that armed paramilitaries are trying to track down US citizens, one week after the capture of the South American country’s president, Nicolás Maduro.

how awesome. both the government and citizens of Venezuela are super fucking pissed at us — and are out for revenge. here’s what the State Department posted to Elon’s Nazi Bar and Child Porn Emporium:

lovely. by acting first and thinking never, Donny and his merry band of warmongers have painted a target on the back of every American in Venezuela.

“There are reports of groups of armed militias, known as colectivos, setting up roadblocks and searching vehicles for evidence of U.S. citizenship or support for the United States.”

oh, huh. that seems bad.

how did the shitwits who cooked up the cockamamie scheme to kidnap Maduro not foresee this? they removed exactly one person from Venezuela’s repressive regime — and left everyone else in place. what in the hallowed name of Magical-Thinking Jesus did they imagine would happen? the national guard, the army, the national police, the intelligence service — they’re all still run by Maduro loyalists. did Donny’s flunkies think they could just click their heels three times and all that shit would go away?

it’s so obvious that there was no planning whatsoever for dealing with any of the fallout from their actions. not one of these shit-kazoos bothered to ask ‘and what happens next?’ — it was just ‘grab Maduro and hope for the best.’ and now, as a result, every American down there has to run for their lives.

newsflash: this isn’t reality TV. this isn’t The Apprentice, where the producers could just edit out every disastrous decision of Donny’s, and make it seem like he was some kind of business savant. this is the real world. you can’t hide the dumbfuckery.

look at Little Donny Fuckface. he has no idea that he’s no longer part of some stage-managed entertainment spectacle. he’s still imagining that he can pretend everything is hunky-dory, just by saying so. here’s what he was posting at the same time the State Department was issuing its warning.

“I love the Venezuelan people, and am already making Venezuela rich and safe again. Congratulations and thank you to all of those people who are making this possible!!! President DJT”

on what fucking planet is any of that happening? oh, my dear sweet lord. shitting out hallucinatory nonsense on his crappy app doesn’t make it so.

you look at the collection of oddballs and chowderheads running our government and that famous line from All the President’s Men keeps running through your head.

the truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.’

except in our case, the truth is that these people are complete fucking imbeciles, and everything is getting out of hand. lucky us.

and for what? Venezuela’s oil? ha fucking ha. it’s becoming more clear with every passing day that Big Oil wants very little to do with Donny’s plans to steal all that crude. it’s too expensive to extract.

Paul Krugman has written an excellent post about all of this.

the long-story-short of Krugman’s post is —

    • Venezuela’s oil infrastructure has been fucked to hell, and will take years and many billions of dollars in investment to restore.
    • it would be insane to invest that much time and money in a politically-unstable country.
    • Venezuelan crude is damn near worthless, because it’s difficult to extract and difficult to refine.
    • there’s an oil glut right now. the world doesn’t need more oil.

you can’t explain any of that to Donny. his brain is stuck in the 1950s.he doesn’t want to know that the world has changed. all he wants is for his lizard-brain to be fed. he wants all the power, all the money and all the attention — and now you can add to it all the oil. it doesn’t matter that it’s worthless. he just wants to show it off, just like he wants to show off all the hideous golden tat in the Oval Bordello, and the future Epstein Dance Hall. it’s just another totem of wealth.

and it’s going to be the same deal with Greenland, too, should that clusterfuck-to-come ever happen.

“Greenland’s harsh environment, lack of key infrastructure and difficult geology have so far prevented anyone from building a mine to extract the sought-after rare earth elements that many high-tech products require. Even if President Donald Trump prevails in his effort to take control of the arctic island, those challenges won’t go away.”

as with Venezuela, there’s a reason all of Greenland’s resources remain buried — it’s just too fucking expensive to extract. and in Greenland’s case, it would be an ecological disaster.

Another concern is the prospect of mining rare earths in the fragile Arctic environment just as Greenland tries to build a thriving tourism industry, said Patrick Schröder, a senior fellow in the Environment and Society program at the Chatham House think-tank in London.

“Toxic chemicals needed to separate the minerals out from the rock, so that can be highly polluting and further downstream as well, the processing,” Shröder said.

but again, you can’t explain this to Donny. he’ll just wing a ketchup bottle at your head and scream at you to get it done.

Donny’s destabilizing the entire planet — and destroying decades-old alliances — all because he has a toddler’s understanding of how the world works.

we really do live in the stupidest fucking timeline.

by the way, you have to love this line from the State Department’s warning.

“Venezuela has the highest Travel Advisory level – Level 4: Do Not Travel – due to severe risks to Americans, including wrongful detention, torture in detention, terrorism, kidnapping, arbitrary enforcement of local laws, crime, civil unrest, and poor health infrastructure.”

did your irony detector just start shrieking? mine did — because you can replace ‘Venezuela’ with ‘Minneapolis’ and not have to change one word in the rest of that paragraph.

ace job, you assholes — you’ve turned an entire American city into a South-American-style banana republic.

loyal and patriotic citizens, please stand by for a message of the utmost importance from the President of the United States, Royal King of America, and God’s Own Avatar on Earth.

“The New York Football Giants should hire, without question, John Harbaugh – And John, a great guy, should TAKE THE JOB!!! President DJT”

Christ on a corkscrew, with all the chaos and crises going on — all the result of his own fascistic overreach — this is what Lord Fucksnot is focused on: the hiring decisions of the ‘New York Football Giants.’

that’s it, his brain is cooked. 25th Amendment — now. I’ll take my chances with Couchfuck McGee.

here are your heroes of the day: We the People of the United States of America. massive, peaceful anti-ICE protests took place across the nation yesterday. let’s just briefly sample a few.

here’s what went down in San Francisco.

and in Portland.

and in the rain in New York City.

and, of course, in Minneapolis, the scene of the crime.

thank you, everyone, for keeping it peaceful. Donny and his minions are super fucking horny to invoke the Insurrection Act and declare martial law. we must not give him reasons.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Posted on

Vomiting It All Up

Sorry…I’m cleaning out my downloads folder today.

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Posted on

“Fuck You, Make Me” Without Saying The Words

Elizabeth Lopatto, writing at The Verge, “Tim Cook and Sundar Pichai Are Cowards”:

Since X’s users started using Grok to undress women and children using deepfake images, I have been waiting for what I assumed would be inevitable: X getting booted from Apple’s and Google’s app stores. The fact that it hasn’t happened yet tells me something serious about Silicon Valley’s leadership: Tim Cook and Sundar Pichai are spineless cowards who are terrified of Elon Musk.

Lopatto’s outrage and righteous anger are justified, but I think mostly misdirected. Apple and Google — and thus, Cook and Pichai, as the men who sit behind the desks where the buck stops at both companies — are culpable. But this is ultimately not about them, and not about Musk. It’s Trump, as president, they fear. Not Musk. And they are correct to fear Trump.

Year one of Trump 2.0 has crystallized what had become — after decades of deliberate restraint after World War II, and even more so after the end of the Cold War — overlooked. The Presidency of the United States bestows upon its officeholder enormous, unparalleled, power. No one was afraid of Trump after he lost to Joe Biden in 2020. The man was convicted of 34 felonies in a cold New York City courtroom in May 2024, a mere 19 months ago. Trump expected and asked for riots outside the courtroom. He got nothing but pathetic support from a handful of kooks. A year earlier, he lost a humiliating sexual assault civil lawsuit to E. Jean Carrol. Trump, just a year and a half ago, was a buffoon getting his mug shot taken. Today he’s arguing that his power is unchecked by anything other than his own sense of morality.

No other president has ever abused (or, if you support him, wielded) the powers of the office like Trump has. The power and influence of Tim Cook and Sundar Pichai, CEOs of two of the top five companies in the world, isn’t merely superseded by Trump’s power and influence as president. Their power and influence are dwarfed by Trump’s. Any credible argument about how they should act must acknowledge that profound imbalance.

Lopatto, in her closing:

I never want to hear any moral grandstanding from these boys ever again. The next time Tim Cook says “privacy is a human right,” the only possible response is to laugh in his face. I mean, Apple and Google are fine distributing an app that has created an undressed image Grok made of Renee Nicole Good, the mother who was shot by ICE in Minneapolis. How do you plan to defend getting rid of the ICEBlock app while allowing X to generate degrading images of a woman ICE killed? Can Apple and Google even identify their values beyond their commitment to “shareholder value”? What’s your fucking endgame here, guys?

The profound power imbalance here is frustrating. But also terrifying. It’s folly to think these CEOs should steer their companies into direct confrontation with Trump. It would do no ultimate good for Apple or Google to burn themselves to the ground in protest. These men aren’t beholden to shareholders, per se. They’re doing their duty to institutions they’ve devoted their lives to. Companies that are worth preserving and protecting. Perhaps not in your estimation, but certainly from theirs.

But abject obsequiousness — which more and more seems the path Cook and Pichai are choosing — is no more justifiable a response than corporate suicide. The situation is not binary: acquiescence or war. There is a broad middle ground, founded on principle.

Disney’s response to the Jimmy Kimmel controversy a few months ago shows the way. Defend the company’s principles while simultaneously defending the company from Trump’s demented wrath. You can take the position of “Fuck you, make me” without ever saying those words. Objection is not confrontation. Do the right thing and enforce the App Store and Play Store guidelines, and remove X and Grok from the stores. Make Musk object. Make the Trump administration object. Make them defend the indefensible — in public. Make clear why the apps were removed from the app stores and force Musk — and Trump, if he chooses — to argue that those things are A-OK by them. In court.

The judicious path for Apple and Google (and every other U.S. company) may well be to obey the law, even when the law is being actively corrupted. But the correct path is not to obey in advance. Stand behind the law while the law still exists on your side. Disney resisted Trump’s preposterous demand that they fire Jimmy Kimmel without lasting controversy, simply by standing firm in their conviction. Apple and Google could certainly do the same regarding apps that are being used to generate CSAM and deepfake harassment, regardless if the apps are part of the private fiefdom of Trump’s ally Elon Musk. It’s wise for Cook and Pichai to pick their battles. This one, I think, is worth picking. This is a moment when the App Store and Play Store can stand firmly on the side of longstanding and correct societal norms.

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