Category: Shower Thoughts

It is easy to fall asleep in front of a loud television, but when you go to bed a loud television can keep you awake.

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No matter how advanced camera phones become, people will always manage to take terrible pictures when selling stuff on eBay/marketplace.

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When you’re young, being at home is depressing and driving your car feels like freedom. When you’re older, commuting to work is depressing and staying home all day with nothing to do feels like freedom.

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People named Karen must despise the internet at this point.

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If monsters were real, we would probably just consider them dangerous animals.

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50 years ago people were pretty excited at the thought of being able to see someone while talking on the phone. Now that we can do that, most of us would rather just essentially telegraph each other.

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Someday your children and grandchildren are going to walk into your outdated “grandparent” house, with its 4K flat screen, hardwood floors, and stainless steel appliances, and think you’re a loser.

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No one had any choice in being born, no one really knows why we’re here, and no one knows what happens after we die. The sheer amount of bullshitters who claim otherwise is astonishing.

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No one ever asks what’s in Areas 1 – 50.

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Someone you don’t even know exists will one day make a decision that will change your life.

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What happens when a supernova goes off in a globular cluster?

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Most people are more interested in the daily life of celebrities than in science, and that shows how doomed humanity is.

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You know you’re getting old when you start going to bed at the same hour you used to go out.

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At this very moment, someone, somewhere is getting ben wah balls pushed into or pulled out of their ass.

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Humans get very sad when their pet dies, but pets probably get much sadder when their humans die because they’ve grown up and lived their whole life with that human.

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You know you’re getting old when you’re more worried of the property damage in superhero movies than impressed by the heroes’ actual feats.

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The Earth is spiking a fever to get rid of its infection.

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If there are infinite universes with infinite realities, then all books are true stories.

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If you buy a product, you shouldn’t have to see an online advertisement for that product ever again.

Don’t tell me they can’t do this.

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We get away with eating cake for breakfast by calling it a muffin.

(As if anyone needs to “get away” with eating cake for breakfast. We’re all adults here. If I want to eat cake, or pie, or sushi for breakfast, I goddamned will!)

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Silver bullets are expensive. You could probably kill a werewolf with chocolate.

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All dogs deserve a home. But not all homes deserve a dog.

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Cereal is breakfast soup.

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You can lift Thor’s hammer if you lift Thor while he carries it.

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The fact that billionaires have pledged over 600 million dollars in under 24 hours to help fix the Norte Dame landmark really puts into perspective how easily the insanely rich could help solve world problems if they cared to.

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If a stranger asks you what time it is, it’s kind of annoying. If a stranger asks you what year it is, it’s mildly concerning. If a stranger asks you what century it is, it’s extremely exciting.

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True adulthood is realizing there’s nothing stopping you from eating all your fries in the car on the way home if you want to.

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If you have a memory stick filled with porn, you can literally give your computer a sex drive.

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