Picking Up Stones

From Gregfallis.com:

Trump: Women, I am your protector.
Women: You’re what?
Trump: You will no longer be abandoned, lonely, or scared.
Women: Okay, dude, you’re creeping the fuck out of us right now.
Trump: You will no longer be in danger.
Women: Oh shit, we are deffo in danger now.
Trump: Your groceries will be more affordable.
Women: [looking at each other] The fuck?
Trump: You will be able to turn on your faucet and have water come out.
Women: [looking at each other] Yeah, I don’t know. I’ve got segue whiplash.
Trump: You will no longer have to be depressed or unhappy.
Women: While you’re talking, there isn’t enough Xanax in the world.
Trump: You will no longer have to think about abortion.
Women: Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure we will.
Trump: You will no longer have to worry about strangers eating your cats.
Women: Jesus suffering fuck, this guy.
Trump: I will protect women at a level they have never seen before.
Women: Fuck you in the neck, we can protect ourselves.
Trump: Nobody protects women more than me.
Women: We’re calling E. Jean Carroll right now.
Trump: Women will be happy.
Women: [Picking up stones] Feeling happier already.

EDITORIAL NOTE: We must burn the patriarchy. Burn it to the ground. Burn it, gather the ashes, piss on them, douse them in kerosene, set them on fire again. Burn the patriarchy, then drive a stake directly through the ashes where its black heart used to be. Set fire to the stake. Keep burning it, over and over. Burn it for generations. Nuke it from orbit. Then find a good book, some chocolates, and a cozy chair. Maybe with a cat.

This Brought Back Memories

I found this picture in my collection while looking for something else, and boy did it bring back memories. This is where—about a year after I moved to San Francisco—I sold my entire vinyl collection, because you know, compact discs! And it’s also where I simply left a box of records they didn’t want out on the street for the taking because I wasn’t going to haul them back home.

Ah, the stupidity of youth. Ironic because many years later, after realizing the error of my ways, it was the same location where I started rebuilding that same vinyl collection.

In the intervening years I bought and sold dozens of CDs at the same location as my financial situation ebbed and flowed.

Of course this led me down the internet rabbit hole as I attempted to find out what had happened to the store in the years since I left The City.

Apparently the store closed in 2016. The building (including two residential units on the upper floors) were renovated in 2019.

Now it’s a hair salon. ????

And speaking of places long gone where I spent copious amounts of money…

I was unable to find any photos of the interior of the Tower Records store on Market Street and these are the only ones I located of the exterior. I remember when the store first opened it was Mana From Heaven for music junkies like me. After Tower Records closed all its stores in 2006, apparently the building sat vacant for several years until CVS stepped in and the building was completely remodeled. CVS moved out in 2017 and according to Google Street View, it’s now Barry’s, a gym/heath & fitness establishment.

And while we’re on the subject…

The Record Rack was another of my hangouts.

DJ Neil Lewis, 1998

Neil used to let me root around in the back room where they kept all the used stock that they hadn’t put out yet. There were boxes of records stacked on top of each other, loose records spilling onto the floor, unsorted shelves…I easily spent entire afternoons going through the mess and didn’t even scratch the surface.

Speaking of Neil, I present Neil Lewis: The Final Performance

 

What has this little trip down memory lane done? It’s reminded me that I no longer recognize the city I called home for nearly 20 years. I spent hours on Google Street View over the weekend visiting my old haunts downtown and all the way up Market throughout the Castro, and I scarcely recognized anything. Considering I’ve now been gone from The City longer than I actually lived there, this isn’t surprising. Time does move on, after all. But it’s still a little depressing, and really makes me wish I had taken more photos when I lived there than I did.

Welcome to the Apocalypse

A man calls Pizza hut to order a pizza…
CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza.
CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes, and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER: How the hell do you know that?
GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER: WHAT THE HELL!
GOOGLE: I’m sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, and all the others. I’m going to an island without the internet, or TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.
“I am Google and I’m only here to help.”