Best to Leave the Past in the Past

I was going to write a short "Twenty Years Today" post because occasionally I find something worth sharing when looking back, but after actually reading a few of my Journal entries from March 1999—and then going down the rabbit hole of reading all the entries from 1999—I decided I really didn't want to subject you to any of that.

There's nothing lurking in the past that needs to be regurgitated now.

What stands out the most from twenty years ago is how profoundly unhappy and lost I was. While it wasn't clear to me at the time (at least consciously) in hindsight, it screams off those pages. It's no exaggeration to say (as I have many times) that the Mark prior to the cancer diagnosis was someone completely different from the Mark who emerged after treatment. When I think of the hundreds—no, thousands—of dollars I threw away on stuff, trying to fill the very obvious emotional hole in my life that leaps off those pages, well…I'm not here to judge that past self or anyone else, but damn gurl, I was a mess.

Discover more from Voenix Rising

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading