If only…
Yup
Dirk, Just Look Busy
"Okay, Dirk, just look busy. Look like you're working, just in case. Just lightly tap the keys. Don't press anything, don't flip any switches. Just be cool, Dirk. You've got this. Morgan will be in soon and she won't let you blow anything up."
Always Worth Reposting
Because I think we could all use a laugh.
A Little Yoke
Pretty sure that both Jehovah and Satan are scratching their heads, giving puzzled looks to each other at this point.
Jehovah: Are you sure he's not one of yours? Because I didn't make him.
Satan: Puleeze, gurl. Give me some credit. Even I have standards.
Jehovah: Buddha? Brahma?
*Both shrug their shoulders*
Satan: Gaia?
Gaia: *glowers*
Satan: Right, right. Sorry. Forgot about the "pussy grabbing" thing.
Jehovah: Cthulhu?
Cthulhu: What kind of monster do you take me for? *sips tea*
Satan: Well somebody cooked him up!
Flying Spaghetti Monster: …
Jehovah: Wait…there is no way you could…
Flying Spaghetti Monster: Look, it was my first time. I was a little drunk and someone asked for a "Tangerine Dream" so I thought…
Satan: *facepalms* Fucking newbies!
Imagine My Disappointment
When I learned that Denver's Black Arts Festival had nothing to do with Harry Potter. Damn Muggles!
Submitted Without Comment
I'm Tempted To Try This…
Donald Duck: Subverting The Youth Of America Since 1934
Wut?
There Are No Aliens
Juxtapositions Can Be Funny
Sometimes Grids creates some very funny juxtapositions in my feed:
If You're Not Watching American Gods…
…you won't get this, but trust me…it's brilliant!
WWSD?
What's Not To Like?
Selling Point
Caption This
Technically Correct
Caption This
"Jan, that's amazing! You should be in porn! I've never seen anyone…"
B.D. = Before Dogs
Needed
Boys Will Be Boys
Via.
Caption This
"Do you think I should take the rubber bands off?"
This Deserves An Award
Juxtapositioning is fun.
Some Much Needed Comic Relief
If You're On Twitter…
…you need to follow @IfHillaryHad. I guarantee it will snap you out of the deep depression that gripped you in November (let's face it, if you're reading my blog you know what I'm talking about) and became acute over the last fourteen days. Humor is the best medicine!
Doggie Lovin' Geek Humor
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
As Someone Whose Husband Talks In His Sleep…
I find this hilarious!
An Airplane Was About To Crash…
An airplane was about to crash. There were four passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am Steph Curry, the best basketball player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die." So he took the first pack and jumped out of the plane.
Donald Trump, the second passenger said, "I am Donald Trump. I am the newly-elected President of the United States and the smartest President in American history. My followers don't want me to die. He took the second pack and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, the Pope, said to the fourth, a ten-year-old boy, "My son, I am old and I do not have many years left. You have your entire life ahead of you, so I will sacrifice myself and let you have the last parachute."
"That's okay, your Holiness" said the boy. "There is still one parachute left for you. America's smartest president took my book bag."
"As soon as Juliette's asleep…
…and we're both totally blasted, we'll see how far we can shove that bottle up your bum without having to rush you to the Emergency Room to get it out."
"Sounds great, Bob!"
