Category: Fuck This Bullshit

Little Donny Fuckface is what would happen if an overripe diaper became a real boy. he’s that full of shit.

the United Nations General Assembly in is session right now, and yesterday was Donny’s turn to address the gathered diplomats and heads of state.

unlike last year, Dear Leader and his Slovenian rent-a-wife were never in danger of getting escalatored to smithereens.

nor did Donny’s teleprompter go fuckity-bye right in the middle of his speech, as it did last year — but you kind of wish it had, though. because the prepared text that Donny read from yesterday was a big bucket of holy shit.

“I have a big decision to make. will a deal be made with Iran that lets them rebuild and create a far greater country than it ever was before, maybe one of the greatest in the Middle East or even the world? or do I annihilate the Islamic Republic and do it quickly, never giving them a chance to kill and destroy people and countries again? do I drive them into hell with no chance of survival and no hope of future greatness or generations? but I believe we will make a deal, right after the election.”

Jesus H Christ. lighten the fuck up, Francis.

who even talks like this? what part of United Nations does Donny need explained to him? you’re not supposed to stand up and casually threaten to send another member nation to hell. the only uniting that Donny is doing, is uniting the rest of the world against us. we’re a rogue nation now. America — the country where the United Nations chose to be headquartered, because back in 1945, no one could have imagined that Donny’s dystopian hellscape is the country we would become, 81 years later.

oh, and mad props to whoever it was at MSNOW who wrote this caption.

“Trump touts being a peacemaker while asking if he should annihilate Iran.”

if that doesn’t say it all, I don’t know what does.

Donny is like an ill-mannered six-year-old at another kid’s birthday party, and all he can talk about is how he wants to smash everyone else’s toys. he’s a psychopath. 

how many times has he now threatened to fuck Iran’s shit but good? by my count, it’s exactly elventyskillionpickledillion. if it’s a day that ends in y, Donny’s threatening total obliteration, like no one thought possible.

during Donny’s tirade, the Iranian delegation got up and walked out — but if it had been me, I would have just sat there, rolling my eyes and miming jerk-off motions, because let’s get real. Donny’s not going to do any of that shit.he’s all mouth and no brain, and everyone who isn’t already a cultist is so fucking tired of Donny’s worn-out act.

oh, and Donny didn’t just vow to get all explodey with Iran. he also threatened Mexico and Cuba, and bragged about having stolen all of Venezuela’s oil. perfectly normal stuff — if you’re an out-of-control madman.

but if you thought Donny’s Iran rant was pure crazypants, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. get ready for a triple-fuckton of gibberish.

“the United States also totally rejects any attempt to construct a globalist scheme to control for the— artificial INTELLIGENCE being spoken of SO MUCH now, herein and after officially called SUPER— intelligence. changing the name, and that the use of the word artificial makes intelligence fake. it makes intelligence fake. it makes it sound fake, and it is not fake. it’s actually— amazing. but we have to be careful. IN FACT, it is exactly the opposite of— what it— purports. from this point forward, ALL OF United States documents and hopefully the world’s will be changed to use the much more ACCURATE term SUPER, as opposed to artificial. so it’s— super— intelligence. in other words, WELCOME TO THE NEW WORLD of super intelligence, dash, SI. SI. let’s see if that goes. sounds much better, it is much better, and it’s much more accurate. let’s see if I have any power. maybe I do and maybe I don’t. we’re going to find out pretty soon. SUPER INTELLIGENCE. every major new technology brings challenges.”

oh my god. the prepared text was ‘intelligence — SI’ and Donny read it as ‘intelligence dash SI.’ what a fucking idiot.

imagine being a world leader, or a top member of your nation’s diplomatic corps, and having your time and expertise wasted by having to sit there and listen to some low-wattage idiot shit out his crazypants idea to rename janky, six-fingered plagiarism robots.

welcome to Donny’s latest infantile obsession. while the entire world goes to shit all around us, Dear Leader’s got a grand scheme to rename AI to SI.

why should Donny — or anyone — give a shit what AI is called? because he and his felonious sons are heavily invested in data centers, that’s why.they stand to make a mint off this shit, and so — while the rest of us are worried about some rogue AI causing an extinction-level event — this corrupt old carnival barker thinks he can make AI more marketable by renaming it.

oh, and speaking of Donny’s fixation on names, check out this bit, from his meeting with the UK’s brand spanking new Prime Minister.

“he asks good questions, but— and I think there’s a tremendous patriotism, in Britain. we call it the United Kingdom, Britain, sometimes England, you to back to the old— it’s got more names than any other place in the world. and sometimes you have to be educated as to what— but uh, there’s great patriotism in the country. and they want to see— great things happen.”

they say that first impressions are everything — and Donny’s fucktangle of incoherence was British PM’s Andy Burnham very first impression of Dear Leader. 

as a head of state, how can you possibly prep for that? it’s one thing to have your advisors brief you on what to expect. ‘sir, he’s a little bit— unusual.’

it’s another thing entirely to actually sit right beside him and smell the diaper, gaze at the clownish makeup, the rotting hands and the neckgina, and actually hear the gibberish seeping from his rancid anus-mouth — some fuckbrained nonsense about how ‘the UK has so many names, and you have to be educated.’

that’s right, PM Burham, everything you were told about how Donny is ‘as if Dunning and Kruger had a baby, and then dropped it on its head,’is true.

but you know, it’s not just the United Kingdom’s that known by a lot of names. so is our own country. 

we’re America. we’re the United States, we’re the USA — and now we’re Donny Convict’s Dystopian Hellscape.

lucky us.

now let’s watch Dear Leader’s head explode when CNN’s Kaitlan Collins has the utter temerity to ask him a question.

Kaitlan Collins: “Mr President, two thirds of Americans don’t think the US is winning the war with Iran. When will it end?”

Donny: “I’m surprised that CNN is here covering me.”

Collins: “the United Nations allowed us in, sir.”

Donny: “you should not be here covering me. you said you weren’t going to be covering me. you shouldn’t be covering me.”

boo fucking hoo, bro. your infantile ban (and the subsequent major network boycott) only applies to what goes on in the White House. Kaitlan Collins has every right to be in the United Nations, questioning you about your unwinnable Iranian clusterfuck that indeed, no one asked for and is overwhelmingly unpopular.

dry your eyes and eat binkie, Preznit Piss-Baby.

and so, another of Donny’s yearly spectacles at the United Nations has come and gone — and, as usual, he shit the bed, completely embarrassing himself and his country.

he threatened allies and adversaries. he praised himself, and boasted about his imaginary accomplishments. he rambled incoherently about insignificant shit that matters to no one but him — and he whined like the colicky piss-baby he is.

remember, none of this is normal — and someday, this war’s gonna end.

the midterm elections are just 41 days away. let’s see if we can restore dignity and sanity to this country — and maybe even begin to dismantle Donny’s dystopian hellscape.

vote.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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so there we all were, just trying to make it though another fucked-up Monday, when out of the clear blue, we got hit with the News of the Century:

after three months of being hidden away from the public, Mitch McConnell was on his way to the Senate.

holy shit-kadoodle, Batman! he’s alive!

but then we got the video of The Esteemed Senator Turtlehump being wheeled out of his terrarium, and it was a big bowl of what in the actual fuck?

what bill of goods are we being sold here?

okay, there’s Mitch, clearly most sincerely not dead — but does he really look alive? we see him being wheelchaired from his doorway to his waiting car, but do we really see any sense of cognition — any sign at all that Mitch has any idea where he is, or what is happening to him?

even presidential side-piece Laura Loopy was all what on God’s green shitpile are they trying to pull?

Like I said, Mitch is brain dead. You can’t look at his face and say he’s not a vegetable. He’s not even responding to cognition tests. It’s like wheeling a corpse around. Worse than what the Democrats did with Joe Biden to be honest. He looks incapacitated. Brain dead.

the thing is, Laura’s not wrong. (I mean, not the part about Joe Biden, duh.) Mitch is clearly unwell.

later, when the MitchBot5000 showed up in the Senate, reporters were banned from recording video.

Some more photos of McConnell as he returned to the Senate for the first time in three months following a fall at his D.C. home.

Reporters were barred from recording video

perfectly normal stuff, am I right?

please do not record the senator while he is making grunting noises and shitting himself.

I mean, how do we know that’s not what Mitch is doing? they won’t allow us to find out.

could Mitch McConnell’s handlers kindly stop pissing on our heads and telling us it’s raining? it’s been over three months since McConnell was found unconscious on the floor of his house, and taken away in an ambulance. in all that time, there hadn’t been one single shred of evidence that Mitch was cognizant, or even alive. now that he’s finally here in front of us, all we want is an answer to a single question: is he competent to do his job? but instead of getting any answer from Team Mitch, we’re just cordially invited to go fuck ourselves.

what the hell? if McConnell is actually aware of his surroundings, why can’t we get any proof of it?

this is not how a functioning government works. this is how a clown show works.

wheeling a Zombie Mitch from location to location is just elder abuse at this point. why is he being dog-and-ponied around? is it because he grunted ‘iwaaaagwrrrrg’ and one of his handlers went, ‘Mitch says he wants to go to work’?

fuck off, Mitch. stay home. you’ve had a long, distinguished career of being the most evil person in the Senate, making life worse for We the People. bravo. job well done.

now step down, and try to enjoy what remains of your life.

* * *

there really need to be term limits, or age limits, in the Senate. look at Chuck Grassley. he’s 92. this session, he’s going to be expected to vote on things like data centers and AI. does he have the capacity to understand those issues? and it’s a bipartisan problem. three years ago, Democrat Dianne Feinstein died while in office at age 90. like McConnell, she had absent from the Senate for months, and when she finally returned, it was obvious that her brain had gone fuckity-bye.

When the fellow reporter asked her what the response from her colleagues had been like since her return, though, the conversation took an odd turn.

“No, I haven’t been gone,” she said.

four months after that conversation, she dropped dead. here’s what I wrote at the time.

look: I get why ancient Senators refuse to step down. it’s a cush job. the perks are awesome: power. free healthcare. a staff. travel. your face on TV. you don’t really have to work very hard, and you get shitloads of time off. and if you live in a safe, deeply-red or deeply-blue state, you don’t even have to campaign all that strenuously.

hell, I wouldn’t quit that job. would you?

of course you wouldn’t. you had to pry Dianne Feinstein’s job out of her cold, dead hands. is Mitch McConnell next?

come on, this shit ain’t supportable. term limits, now.

here’s some other cheery news we got yesterday. it turns out that some Putin-linked Russian oligarch bankrolled First Failson Cokey McSniffles’ lavish, private-island wedding.

New: Russian oligarch Umar Kremlev footed the bill for hundreds of thousands of dollars of wedding expenses at Donald Trump Jr.’s lavish wedding, including renting out a private island and paying for the fireworks show.

perfectly normal stuff, am I right? I mean, who among us hasn’t had some corrupt crony of Putin’s drop a couple-hundred thou in our lap, so we can get hitched in style?

National security experts expressed alarm at Trump Jr. accepting the oligarch’s largesse, saying it raised an urgent question: What motivated Kremlev to spend a fortune cultivating the connection?

“If I’m paying for your wedding, at some point, you’re going to owe me something,” said Frank Montoya Jr., a retired career FBI official who held senior counterintelligence roles.

no fucking duh. of course Mister Oligarch is going to expect something in return. that’s how this ‘enjoy your free wedding’ shit works. at this point, I think I’d be shocked if Donny and his family managed to do something that wasn’t corrupt.

naturally, House Republicans swore to get to the bottom of this scandal, vowing to immediately open hearings.

no, wait — what am I saying? Republicans didn’t promise to do any of that shit. instead, they had the most predictable response in the universe: look over there, it’s Hunter Biden!

Florida Rep Anna Paulina Luna: “there’s no evidence. we opened an investigation into Hunter Biden because of the evidence in the laptop that specifically pertained to influence peddling, and unless there’s a laptop that comes out with specific criminal evidence, I don’t think that opening up an investigation into Don Jr.’s wedding party is something that’s a good use of taxpayer dollars.”

holy shit, An Appalling Lunatic is more brain-dead than Mitch McConnell. not this again. there was never any Hunter Biden laptop. what there was, was a tampered-with hard drive that someone claimed had come from Hunter Biden’s laptop.

in Don Jr.’s case, we don’t need anyone to gin up fake evidence. we’ve got evidence up the yin-yang. over to you, ProPublica.

Kremlev footed the bill for hundreds of thousands of dollars of wedding expenses, according to records reviewed by ProPublica and interviews with three people familiar with the event.

In response to detailed questions, a spokesperson for Trump Jr. did not dispute the wedding payments from Kremlev. “Umar is a personal friend of Don,” he said.

can someone please copy the ProPublica article onto a laptop, and claim it came from Hunter Biden? maybe we can trick these Republican shitweasels into investigating it.

yesterday, the dumbest fucking moron in the known multiverse spent an entire day power-loading an infinite series of diapers, because AI.

Concerning AI, when, in the History of Business, did anyone see the Leaders of an Industry call for Regulation that, if strongly implemented, will drive them into oblivion and bankruptcy? AI taking over the World, destroying Humanity, and all other things bad, is a HOAX.

what Dear Leader was reacting to were the multiple stories that have been in the news lately about how the three largest AI honchos have all called for putting the brakes on the current race to build the smartest six-fingered plagiarism robots possible, lest these super-smart AIs start running wild and doing shit we can no longer control.

Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei published an essay asking that the pace of capability advance be slowed and committing his own company to embed outside evaluators with employee-level access. Sam Altman agreed and said OpenAI would do likewise. Elon Musk … wrote three words: “Dario is right.” Three rival laboratories in the most valuable commercial race on earth asked to be restrained, against their own immediate interest.

and that came right on the heels of this cheery news.

For three years, Jacob Coxon helped train increasingly powerful AI systems at OpenAI and Anthropic. On Sept. 8, he walked away.

“I resigned from Anthropic today,” Coxon posted on X. “Neither company is acting responsibly. They are racing straight to self-improving superintelligence and gambling with our lives.” His dire warning amassed more than 90 million views in less than 24 hours.

tell me, is is bad when the guy who helped invent the tech gets so terrified of what he’s done that he quits his job and starts blowing the whistle — and then, his own boss and the boss’s cronies go ‘he’s right, this shit’s hella bad’?

That sounds pretty fucking terrifying to me. isn’t that the plot of umpteen science fiction books any movies — some rogue AI decides that humanity needs to be killed to death — or turned into batteries?

literally everyone is concerned right now that the rush to build ever-smart AIs is a bad idea that’s in need of regulation: We the People, our elected officials — and even the homies who built the damned things. shouldn’t that tell you that something in fact needs to be done?

oh no, wait. there’s one dumb asshole who’s totally down with letting AI do its evil, unregulated thing — and he’s pulled out his favorite word: hoax.

I am the Hoax Buster, and I’m right now breaking another Hoax — That AI is going to take over, consume, and destroy the World, and that Robots will be marching into our Cities, and getting rid of us all! This is even wilder than the RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA HOAX, or the Global Warming Scam. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP

this fucking idiot — everything he doesn’t like is a hoax. yeah, as if the tech bros now clanging the alarms are hoaxing themselves. cool stor

why is Donny so dead-set against regulating the development of plagiarism robots ? because, as Robert Reich reports in his post from this morning, he and his failsons stand to make a mint off of AI tech.

So what explains Trump’s absolute refusal to regulate AI? Could it possibly be that he and his family have personal financial stakes in it?

Indeed, Donald Jr. and Eric Trump have invested substantially in American Data Centers, a firm created to support AI cloud computing and AI infrastructure.

remember what I said earlier about how, ‘at this point, I think I’d be shocked if Donny and his family managed to do something that wasn’tcorrupt’?

but Donny says not to worry, because he knows more about six-fingered plagiarism robots than all the six-fingered plagiarism robots — and he knows exactly what’s needed to keep things from getting out of hand.

So what explains Trump’s absolute refusal to regulate AI? Could it possibly be that he and his family have personal financial stakes in it?

Indeed, Donald Jr. and Eric Trump have invested substantially in American Data Centers, a firm created to support AI cloud computing and AI infrastructure.

but Donny says not to worry, because he knows more about six-fingered plagiarism robots than all the six-fingered plagiarism robots — and he knows exactly what’s needed to keep things from getting out of hand.

The only control or “guardrails” that AI needs is a STRONG AND SMART (High IQ!) PRESIDENT

so that’s all we need, to keep from ending up as batteries to power the matrix? a smart president?

oh shit, we’re fucked.

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