…is keeping us outraged.
Seriously, what is it going to take—what line needs to be crossed—to get this lunatic removed from office? Because it’s becoming increasingly obvious he has no intention of ever leaving voluntarily.
Hello, and welcome to another exciting episode of Donny Says Stupid Shit, the show where our Very Special President gets away with blurting out the kind of crazypants dumbfuckery that would immediately end the political career of any mere mortal who said the same thing.
“And again, remember. With the war, it’s just artificial. It’s a little bit high. It’s a small price to pay. for keeping the world safe. For keeping our country safe. They could take out a city. Let ’em take— let it— let ’em take out Los Angeles. Let ’em take our San Diego. That’s— this is a very small price to pay.”
Wait a minute — did this depraved shithead just give Iran permission to nuke a couple of our cities? Did he actually call such an act ‘a very small price to pay’?
Is Preznit Fuckwit … joking? Is he serious? Is he so demented that he has no idea what he’s actually saying? Does it even matter why Donny said what he said? Dude is clearly unfit for office, and growing worse by the day.
This is probably a good time to note that my What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Challenge™ is now in its 2,371st day.
Where are you, worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press?
Imagine that Sleepy Joe Biden’s autopen had blundered its way into an unwinnable war, and then invited our adversary to nuke the shit out of us. The press would have had a field day, falling all the fuck over themselves in a mad dash to file their stories.
Jake Tapper would have orgasmed on the spot.
Where are the calls for Donny to resign?
Remember Joe Biden’s last year in office? The press had their knives out. Every time Joe stumbled over a word, or took too long to reply to a question, every newspaper in the land would shit out editorial after editorial, calling Biden icky and old and smelly, and demanding that he resign immediately, ‘to serve his country.’
Where are you now, O Glorious Editorial Writers? Donny is in fact icky and old — and he probably smells like shit. Have you seen one call for Dear Leader to step down, to serve his country? I haven’t. Why the fuck not?
Come on, Donny can’t hack it any more. Most of the time, he’s just blithering incomprehensible nonsense.
“You need to be a student at the top of your class at MIT to turn on a lawnmower nowadays, you know? But I got rid of all that stuff. Now you can have a LAWNMOWER. Boom!!”
What is this fucking idiot — this pampered fool — who has never done a day’s labor in his life, imagine he’s done to improve lawnmowers? What ‘stuff’did he ‘get rid of’?What is he hallucinating about?
ast summer, I bought a new lawnmower. It was the same as every lawnmower I’ve had since the 1960s. You pull the string and it goes vroom-vroom. Hey Jake Tapper, maybe you can explain it to me. What exactly has Donny done to Make Lawnmowers Great Again?
Why is the crowd clapping like trained seals at Dear Leader’s fever-swamp bullshit? My god, they’re just as brain dead as he is.
Again, Donny has been getting away with this shit for literal years, nattering on and on about stoves that don’t light, or toilets you have to flush a million times. Where are the worthless scribblers?
And when Donny’s not confabulating, he’s just outright lying.
“It’ll end very quickly and prices are gonna come down very sharply. You might say, ‘please, please, sir, it’s going down too fast!’ You watch. You watch what’s going to happen in a very short period of time.”
Ohhhhh, okay. This unwinnable don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war on Iran — the one that was only supposed to last one day; the one that Donny has claimed we’ve already won twenty times or more — now, it’s going to end very quickly. Any day now, just you wait and see — and then prices will plummet, and big, strong cultists, the afternoon sun rippling off their massive biceps, blinded by the uncontrollable tears of joy coursing down their ruddy cheeks, grateful for cheap gas like few thought possible, and the easy-to-start lawnmowers like no one’s ever seen before, and the radioactive craters where Los Angeles and San Diego used to be — they will all come up to Dear Leader and go ‘sir! sir! we can’t stand it any more! it’s going down too fast! Sir!”
And then, pigs will start flying out of my ass.
Donny never stops promising us that there’s going to be so much wining, we’re going to get tired of all the winning. Fuck that noise. I’m still waiting for the winning to start.
Wouldn’t you love it if our press would spend even ten minutes honestly reporting on any of this shit?
Look at CNN, dancing around the issue of Donny saying the very thing we all heard him say.
Top California officials denounce President Trump after he appeared to suggest Iran could “take out” Los Angeles or San Diego
Ohhh, Dear Leader ‘appeared’ to say what he said. How helpful of you to point that out, CNN. I can’t wait for CNN’s report that San Diego ‘appears’ to be a smoking ruin.
Apparently, if you want accuracy in reporting, you need to cross the ocean and read the Guardian.
First Thing: ‘Deranged’ and ‘dangerous’ Trump calls for Iran to strike US cities amid historic ratings low
That’s more like it. Are you paying attention, US press?
Sigh. I thought not.
It’s time for a palate cleanse. Let’s watch in awe as Davram Stiefler of the Good Liars tries and fails to get a gang of cultists to answer the age-old question, ‘why are socialism?’
Davram Stiefler: “Is everyone worried about socialism?”
MAGA: “Oh, 100%. It never works”
Stiefler: “For the viewers, what is socialism?”
MAGA: “Socialism is pretty much, I mean, it’s control of everything, I mean, they want control and there’s no… uhm… I don’t even… how to explain it, but… you have no control at all. I mean it’s just, it’s their way or the highway”
Stiefler: “But as an economic form of governance, what is it?”
MAGA: “Socialism”
I can’t even with these dumbfucks. The definition of socialism as an economic form of governance is socialism. Thanks a lot, Brainiac. You’ve really done us a solid with that simple explanation.
Jack Smith was spotted at an outdoor music festival this past weekend, wearing a ‘No Kings’ tee-shirt.
Naturally, this caused the entire MAGAverse to shit one massive brick. How dare Jack Smith exercise his First Amendment right to express a personal opinion — while also listening to music at the same time! Treason! Treason!
And, of course, no one whined louder than our whiny Whiner-in-Chief.
Maybe Donny should invite Iran to nuke Jack Smith. Y’know, kill two birds with one stone.
And again I ask…what is it going to take to have him removed from office, ecause it’s obvious the Grim Reaper isn’t up to the job.
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