Category: Shower Thoughts

We should be asking kids, “What kinds of problems do you want to solve?” when helping them consider future careers instead of, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

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Why don’t memory foam pillows ever have a cool side?

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There really is no point in watching a ghost hunting show. If they ever did find absolute proof of ghosts and life after death, it wouldn’t be stuck on a daytime cable show; it would be breaking news on every channel and all over the internet. The same goes for UFO shows, Bigfoot/Monster Hunters, The Curse of Oak Island (and it’s brethren), and the seemingly endless list of similar shows masquerading as “scientific” investigations.

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The generations that covered hardwood floors with linoleum and put wall to wall carpeting in bathrooms have the nerve to talk shit about “millennials.”

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Now is probably the first time in history when nobody is excited about what the future will look like in 100 years.

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There is a special place in hell for people who go home for the day and leave shared documents open.

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Websites (especially news) that refuse to show content unless I disable adblocker are guaranteed to never have my business.

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Environmentalists and climate scientists aren’t trying to save the planet; the planet will go just fine without us. What they’re trying to save is our species.

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Whenever I click a link that goes to a page with a screen-covering ad, I don’t even try to find out how to close it anymore. I just click “back” and declare that bit of news dead to me.

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The older I get the more I think everything is bullshit.

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I stare at a Microsoft screen all day to pay for an Apple screen I stare at all night.

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We’re using the byproducts of the previous mass extinction to cause the next mass extinction.

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The Chief of Police is a COP.

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Demanding I turn off my adblocker when I visit your site just makes me leave your site.

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It doesn’t make sense to me that I can fill my text messages with tons of tiny pictures of smiley faces, foods, and animals, but I can’t put my text in italics or bold.

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For all the money that’s been spent on creating the Iron Man movies, they could’ve built a real Iron Man suit by now.

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If the universe is really a simulation, then quantum mechanics would just be a neat function for the computer to carry out so that it would use up less processing power by rendering only things that are being interacted with instead giving a value to every particle being simulated.

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I can’t wait to go home from sitting at my office job at a computer just to do the same thing—except without pants on.

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Loosening your tie and undoing the collar button is basically the male equivalent of taking a bra off after work.

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I laughed when I read this one, because I had the exact same thoughts when I worked in a hospital…

I work IT for a hospital, and when I’m wheeling a cart of equipment around, it takes everything I’ve got to not yell, “Bring out your dead!”

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If your parachute fails to deploy you have the rest of your life to fix it.

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If you politely ask me to disable adblock, I probably will. If you block the content and say that you will only show it if I disable adblock I will never visit your website again.

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I’m positive this is the century that will determine if mankind’s future looks like Wall-E, Star Trek or Mad Max.

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You never realize how much stuff you actually have until you have to pack up and move.

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You know how you pull the smartphone out of your pocket to check the time? Smartphones are the 21st Century pocket watch.

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When I was young I used to sneak away from home to go to parties, now I sneak away from parties to go home.

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I lived a musically sheltered life, so I’m just now realizing that quite a few of the disco tunes I loved and shook my booty to in my teens and twenties were nothing more than covers of songs done in the 50s and 60s.

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Why has no flat earther ever decided to mount an expedition to the edge of the earth and take a picture to prove their point once and for all?

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