“You’re not a wartime Consigliere.”
That’s Michael Corleone’s famous line from The Godfather, in which he explains to Corleone family counselor Tom Hagen that shit’s about to get real, and you don’t have what it takes.
Know who else isn’t a wartime consigliere? Hakeem Fucking Jeffries, the Man Who Would Be Speaker of the House. Jeffries couldn’t wartime-consigliere his way out of a paper bag. I’m not even sure he understands what the actual job entails.
Morning Joe: “Donald Trump said ‘I am your retribution,’ and he got wiped out. How do you now say, ‘hey, let’s not look behind us. We’re going to focus on bringing costs down’?”
Hakeem Jeffries: “The American people don’t want us to get even, they want us to get things done on their behalf.”
Holy shit, that sounds like a carefully-rehearsed line, doesn’t it? Why?
I’ve never understood this pathological compulsion of Democratic leadership to go out the morning after every election and immediately piss all over everyone’s corn flakes. Is it too much to ask, to let us savor a victory for one whole day, before you start shitting all over everything?
Why this need to assure us that there won’t be any getting even? No one’s asking for ‘retribution.’ What we want is justice. We’ve just lived through two years of the greatest lawlessness and corruption from a federal government that this country has ever experienced — big strong corruption with tears in its eyes — and now it’s time for some accountability. That’s not ‘getting even.’
Preznit Fuckwit spent two years treating the US Treasury as his personal cash machine, fattening his wallet at our expense. We the People are struggling to make ends meet, while Dear Leader is somehow now a billionaire. Calling him to account for that is not ‘getting even.’
Holding Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand accountable for clownfucking us into an unwinnable war that destroyed our military readiness and set the world’s economy teetering on the edge of a crash, that’s not ‘getting even.’
Holding everyone at Homeland Security accountable for masked ICE thugs disappearing innocent people into Salvadoran slave labor gulags, or leaving them shot to death on the street, that’s not ‘getting even.’
It’s getting fucking justice, and it’s high time we had a little around here.
How did Hakeem Jeffries allow himself to get manipulated by that useless pantload Morning Joe into disavowing justice?
Could it be because he’s shit at his job?
You know who else isn’t a wartime consigliere? Chuck Fucking Schumer. He’s been proving it every day through his impotent lack of action. Schumer’s a great guy to have around if there’s absolutely nothing at stake. Need someone to speak at the dedication of a new post office?Chuck’s your man. Need someone to make sure all the procedural i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed in some piece of shrimp boat legislation? Here comes Chuck!
Do you need someone to fight fascism? Chuck’s your— wait, where the fuck did Chuck go? He was here a minute ago.
He’s probably busy writing a strongly-worded letter.
Fortunately, we do have Democrats who aren’t so tone deaf, and do know how to say — and do — the right things.
In case you somehow missed it in yesterday’s post, let me just leave this right here.
LAWYER UP.
That’s Rep. Robert Garcia, the Democrat who is now the incoming chairman of the House Oversight Committee. He posted that Tuesday night, after winning his own reelection.
Know who Rep. Garcia replaces as Oversight Chair? This rake-stepping fuckwit, Comer Fudd.
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Is that an upgrade, or what? Imagine going from clownish side-show hearings involving Hunter Biden’s freakishly-oversized trouser trout, to actual investigations into how companies that Donny’s felonious failsons are invested in ended up getting billions of dollars in government defense contracts. You want to talk about an actual crime family? Boy, have I ever got one for you.
Here’s another Democrat who’s ready to fight: New Mexico’s Melanie Stansbury. She’s looking so forward to the next Congress’s Oversight hearings that she’s already posted a highlight reel from the current Congress’s.
Here’s what Rep. Stansbury has to say about her video.
ARE YOU ALL READY FOR THIS???! 💙🔥 Because we are JUST GETTING STARTED!
Do you know who else are ready to fight the current Republican regime? Republicans, that’s who.
I love me some Republican-on-Republican violence, don’t you?
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Many Republican lawmakers and allies alarmed by Tuesday’s wipeout are moving swiftly to pin blame for the election results on Hegseth, arguing behind the scenes that he played a chief role in convincing Trump to attack Iran with no exit strategy — and no plan for managing the inevitable political fallout.
They’re not wrong about how we got bogged down in the Middle East. Piss-Drunk Pete absolutely snookered his demented boss, and filled his ears with fairy-tale nonsense about how he could bomb the shit out of Iran and be won and done in a couple of hours, with plenty of time left over for Pete to get soused down at the local bar.
‘Drinnnkssss are on me, I just whupped Iran’s assssssss.’
How did that work out for you, Pete? How did that work out for any of us?’
Sucks to be you right now, Pete. They’re shoving you into a peach.
House Republicans are expected to vote to directly repudiate the defense secretary in a matter of days. Rep. Thomas Massie of Kentucky, the famously anti-Trump GOP lawmaker, told CNN he plans to trigger a vote to impeach Hegseth when Congress returns next week — and multiple GOP sources said they expect it to pass.
Leave it to Republicans to show us how it’s done. They’re not even waiting until the next Congress to stick their knives into their targets. They’re doing it next week.
Maybe Hakeem Jeffries might wan to take lessons from Thomas Massie.
And now we must interrupt this post for an important message from Daughter Katie.
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I’m sure you love taking requests, so: you should use your platform to encourage people to call their new representatives and yell at them to demand they not put Jeffries and Schumer back in charge.
Folks, Ms Spouse and I raised our daughter right, didn’t we? In fact, Katie is absolutely correct. We should all be calling our Reps and Senators (or their replacements) right now, and demanding leadership that will work to please us, and not Morning Joe.
All those phone numbers and shit can be found at the House and Senate web sites.
And know that a lot of your elected officials are already halfway there, in their minds.
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Key Senate progressive Chris Van Hollen said Wednesday that Democrats should demand a “bold agenda” targeting entrenched corporate interests in Washington before agreeing to back Chuck Schumer or any other aspiring Senate majority leader.
It’s our job to push — or drag — them across the finish line.
Now let’s watch a giddy-with-glee Rachel Maddow on Election Night.
“Somebody came in, in the break there, and brought me a quote that we got from the president from the White House tonight, in response to the results, and I just threw it away. HA HA HA HA HA! That felt good, too. Guess what? It doesn’t matter. What do you think? Who has to care?”
Ah, that glorious moment when you realize that Dear Leader doesn’t matter.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
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