The people upset about not being able to 3D print an AK-47 are probably the same people who’d be up in arms if you could 3D print a NuvaRing.
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Shower Thoughts
If there are infinite universes with infinite possibilities, your life is being played in movie theaters and people love it.
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Shower Thoughts
In as little as 5-10 years we’re going to have people running for office whose every teenage mistake has been meticulously preserved on social media.
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Shower Thoughts
There’s nothing more satisfying than hearing about poachers being eaten by lions.
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Shower Thoughts
Football is the world’s most important unimportant thing.
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Shower Thoughts
When you die, it is entirely plausible that “you” will wake up, take off your high tech VR gear, and say “Wow, that game sucked!”
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Shower Thoughts
You don’t realize how much muscle memory you have until you move the apps around on your phone.
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Shower Thoughts
The one thing Q-Tips tells us not to do is the only thing we use Q-Tips for.
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Shower Thoughts
The Walking Dead is a more apt description of the show’s production at this point than its characters or plot.
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Shower Thoughts
Based on my own experience, it would appear that calling a Congressman is about as effective as Thoughts and Prayers.
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Shower Thoughts
If Apple built people, their penises wouldn’t fit any other people.
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Shower Thoughts
Texas is to the U.S. as the U.S. is to the rest of the world.
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Shower Thoughts
The numbers in today’s date (6/12/18) are all consecutive multiples of the first number in the series. This won’t happen again until 7/14/21, 8/16/24, 9/18/27, 10/20/30, 11/22/33, and finally 12/24/36.
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Shower Thoughts
The people most equipped to survive an apocalypse are the same people we wouldn’t want repopulating the planet if an apocalypse were to occur.
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Shower Thoughts
Because people are often buried in their best clothes, a zombie apocalypse would be a very formal affair.
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Shower Thoughts
Plastic dinosaurs are made out of real dinosaurs.
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Shower Thoughts
The human body is 70% water, so we’re basically cucumbers with anxiety.
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Shower Thoughts
If this was 1943, Google would have blurred the concentration camps to keep business contracts with Germany.
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Shower Thoughts
You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a person by their bookshelf…and their music collection.
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Shower Thoughts
Statistically, somebody DID die 7 days after watching The Ring.
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Shower Thoughts
With so many veterans experiencing PTSD, Memorial Day is probably not the best holiday to celebrate with fireworks.
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Shower Thoughts
Everyone asks where do we go when we die, but no one asks where we are before we are born.
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Shower Thoughts
The “employees must wash hands before returning to work” signs in bathrooms are probably more to reassure the customers than to remind the employees.
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Shower Thoughts
In a sexual situation, both “you’re so good” and “you’re so bad” are perfectly valid compliments.
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Shower Thoughts
The most notable thing the royal family has done in the last 20 years is get married.
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Shower Thoughts
Are sex toys also alive in the Toy Story universe?
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Shower Thoughts
Microsoft Windows checking for a solution to a problem is the equivalent of thoughts and prayers for gun violence.
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Shower Thoughts
Having kids is a lot like having dogs. Everyone else’s are tidy, smart and well-behaved and you’re just happy yours didn’t shit on the floor today.
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Shower Thoughts
The internet hasn’t made people dumber. It’s just allowed us to see all of them.
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Shower Thoughts
The early 21st century is going to be noted for the sheer number of videos that were exchanged of men masturbating on camera.
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