15 years ago the internet was an escape from the real world. Today the real world is an escape from the internet.
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Shower Thoughts
For a lot of people, Windows is like that dude in a group of friends who isn’t exactly intolerable, but they only hang out with because they think Apple is stuck up and Linux is a loner.
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Shower Thoughts
Aging is the continual process of realizing what an idiot you were a few years ago.
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Shower Thoughts
In the digital age we all carry pocket watches; they just no longer have chains on them.
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Shower Thoughts
Physics is just humans figuring out the code to our simulation.
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Shower Thoughts
The most effective alarm clock is the sound of your dog throwing up on the floor or peeing on the bed.
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Shower Thoughts
Nothing wakes you up as fast as the panic of thinking you overslept on a work day.
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Shower Thoughts
Depression makes you feel like you died years ago but your corpse has stayed behind to drag itself around for no reason.
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Shower Thoughts
The smell of cotton candy has gone from, “There Must Be A Carnival Nearby” to “Who’s The Douche Who’s Vaping?”
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Shower Thoughts
How cool must it be to be the guy with [deleted] as a username.
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Shower Thoughts
It’s odd how we define laundry. Clothes become laundry when they’re taken off and put in a basket. They remain laundry until they’re washed, dried and put away and then they become clothes again.
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Shower Thoughts
Even if we are in a computer simulation, that doesn’t change anything. It is still our reality.
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Shower Thoughts
Shower Thoughts
When people talk about time-traveling into the past, they worry about radically changing the present by doing something small, but rarely does anyone in the present think that they can radically change the future in the same way.
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Shower Thoughts
Small dogs who aren’t big enough to look out of the car windows must think that it’s a magic teleportation device. You go in, it shakes and then you’re at a new place.
I was thinking this the other day while driving the doggies to and from their spa day…
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Shower Thoughts
Attending church is like going to one big book club meeting where everyone listens to someone try and interpret what the author really meant.
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Shower Thoughts
You never realize how boring you are until someone asks you what you do for fun.
(Or what you did over the weekend!)
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Shower Thoughts
The tallest person in the world has been the same height as every other person on the planet.
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Shower Thoughts
Replacing “didn’t” with “did not” in the following sentence “Why didn’t you…” breaks English.
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Shower Thoughts
At home it’s weird for two people to eat two different things for dinner but at a restaurant it’s weird to order the same thing.
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Shower Thoughts
“As fuck” has become a universal unit of measurement.
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Shower Thoughts
The history on your calculator is probably more embarrassing than the one on your browser.
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Shower Thoughts
We live in a world where people eat ass, but get grossed out when you double dip a chip.
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Shower Thoughts
If the earth was flat, the edge would be the biggest tourist attraction in the world.
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Shower Thoughts
Wheelchair bound zombies are very underrepresented in movies.
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Shower Thoughts
15 years ago, “phone” referred to your home phone and you had to say “cell phone” to clarify your mobile device. Now “phone” refers to mobile and you have to say “home phone” to clarify your home phone.
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Shower Thoughts
Surely not everyone was kung fu fighting.
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Shower Thoughts
Money may not buy you happiness, but it does buy you a better quality of misery.
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Shower Thoughts
When Charlie won the Chocolate factory he probably inherited a handful of lawsuits from his fellow contestants.
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Shower Thoughts
You know you are an adult when you get excited to just go home.
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