Category: Shower Thoughts

It's Sunday morning, and last night someone (probably hundreds of someones) had a first date with someone else. They don't know it yet, but they have met the one they will fall in love with, marry and raise a family. They have met the one they will stay with till "death do they part." But they don't know this yet. It was just a first date.

I would love to see a movie from the perspective of aliens discovering the Voyager probes and attempting to decode the golden records.

It's 2017, any place that charges a convenience fee to pay bills online is just an asshole.

Every day our dogs wake up and wonder if today is one of those two special days that the humans stay home all day with them.

North Korea is the world's chihuahua. It's small, evil, unpredictable, yaps constantly, and no one wants to get anywhere near it.

In this "Age of Information," you'd think there'd be a lot less stupid people. But it seems access to the Internet and humanity's amassed knowledge is just allowing them to broadcast their stupidity from the rooftops.

Coating chicken in egg batter is pretty messed up when you stop to think about it.

I hope I live long enough to see the day when "It's just cancer," is a common phrase.

Anything that is more than 62 miles away from me is further away from me than space is.

Equifax's hackers weren't the first to steal my info; Equifax itself took it without my permission a long time ago.

Using a phone case is like wearing a condom, sure it feels a lot more satisfying without it, but without it you run the risk of having an expensive accident.

In two to three days you will die. Luckily, that timer resets every time you drink a glass of water.

Spiders are the only web developers that enjoy finding bugs.

"New Direction" sounds just like "Nude Erection" when spoken aloud.

Men tell their daughters and sisters not to talk to strangers but get upset when women who don't know them don't want to talk to them.

Sometimes I think the greatest benefit of Freedom of Speech is that it gives us all an opportunity to see who's an asshole.

Maybe the reason cell phones were made possible and became so popular was because The Machines wanted to get rid of pay-phones to make it harder to exit the Matrix.

My adult years have made me question why anyone would go big when they could go home.

Washing machines should have a reservoir tank where I can pour in a whole jug of detergent and have it automatically dispense the correct amount for every load—and then automatically flush the whole system of old detergent if it's below a certain level in the tank when it does a self-clean cycle.

The basics of investing and saving should be a mandatory class in high school.

The Internet was created to share information, but has devolved into a propaganda distribution and misinformation platform.

I never realized how much I couldn't stand people until I started using social media.

Zombies on treadmills would be an excellent source of renewable energy.

PacMan is just a dude popping pills to try and escape his demons.

If demonic possession really existed the military would have already found a way to weaponize it.

As soon as you think, "Maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow morning," you're already screwed.