Mad King Donny continues to deteriorate before our very eyes.
Yesterday, sweaty and unsteady on his feet, he shambled into the Oval Bordello, half an hour late for the dog-and-pony show that his minders had set up for him.
Surrounded by his Emotional Support Flunkies, Dear Leader sat down at his Big Boy Resolute Desk and struggled to read from his prepared text.
And, of course, as soon as someone else started speaking, the narcoleptic old fart factory fell fast asleep, and started crop-dusting the room with the pungent aroma of ass music.
The whole event was a clownfucktacular shit-show — or, as we call it around here, Monday.
Dozy Donny should have stayed asleep — because after he woke up, he doubled down on his five-thousand-dollar bribe.
“Because of tariffs, we— are— taking in HUNDREDS of billions of dollars of dollars— of profits. It’s one of the reasons I can offer, if— Republicans win the— HOUSE and Senate. $5,000 to every adult. And we can do it and the Democrats can’t, because the Democrats don’t have any income.”
Holy shit. Every word that just seeped from Donny’s rancid anus-mouth is either a fever-swamp fantasy, an outright lie, or just a basic failure to understand how money works. It staggers the mind when you consider that this low-wattage fuckwad is in charge of our entire nation’s economy.
Hey, can we get Community Notes in here to do us a solid, and lay out the basic bullet points?
A $5,000 payment to every US adult would cost about $1.25 trillion. The government collected $195 billion in customs duties in FY2025. Net tariff revenue turned negative in some months of 2026 due to Supreme Court-ordered refunds. Analyses show tariffs cannot fund it.
Got that? There isn’t enough money to give every adult in America five large. It’s just not there, no matter how many times Donny clicks his bloated cankles together and wishes it were so.
And it’s just fucking weird that Donny considers money taken in via taxes and tariffs to be profits. they’re not — they’re revenues.
This is a fundamental mistake that all these shit-gibbons who insist that ‘government should be run like a business’ make. Governments are not businesses. The revenues that a governments takes in are — in any sane country — used to provide for the public well-being of its people. They’re notprofits, for some tinpot fucksnoot like Donny to hoard for his own personal use.
And what’s all this nonsense about ‘Democrats don’t have any income’? There aren’t two treasuries, one for each major political party. There isn’t Republican money and Democratic money. It’s just money money.
Not only is it fucking insane that Donny believes this, it’s insane that every worthless scribbler of the corporate-controlled press just sits there and nods their head and goes, ‘well, I guess if Donny says so.’
None of this shit is normal. Is it really too much to ask of our media to stop treating it as if it were?
For eleven long years now, ever since that racist game show host came down his golden escalator in June of 2015 to announce his candidacy, the press has been sanewashing his fucknuttery — and they’re still at it. Look at this piece of shit reporting that the Washington Post crapped out yesterday
Donny’s hare-brained schemes are in no way ‘ideas for aiding US consumers’ — they’re the mouth-farts of a panicked idiot who is throwing everything the wall in a desperate attempt to not lose the midterms.
Dear Leader couldn’t give a shit about ‘aiding US consumers.’ He only gives a fuck about himself. He just wants to remain in power indefinitely.
Oh, and it’s also fucking against the law to bribe people into voting a certain way. How about reporting on that?
Meanwhile, the MAGAsphere is pissing itself with glee, over the free government money that Donny’s gonna send them.
Vote GOP, reject the crazy communists, and get $5k as an additional incentive.
Let’s do this!
How many times is MAGA going to fall for this shit? They’re now the guy from Mememto. They can no longer form lasting memories.
Ask MAGA about the $5,000 DOGE checks that Donny promised to sent them way back in February 2025. They’ll just go ‘huh wha?’
Ask them about the $2,000 ‘tariff rebate’ checks that the con artist they worship told them they were getting in November 2025.
They don’t remember.
I guess if MAGA is too memory-impaired to remember how many times Dear Leader has lied to them about free money from the government, they’ll also be fooled by the ‘migrant caravan’ that has magically appeared, five weeks before an election.
Here we go again. Every time an election looms, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex starts flooding the airwaves with bullshit scare-stories about swarthy brown-skinned migrants walking thousands of miles on foot, just so they can cross our border and fuck our shit.
The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) issued a strong warning to a major migrant caravan that crossed into Mexico and was moving north with hopes of reaching the U.S.-Mexico border.
“USBP is closely engaged with its international partners to monitor their movement and any additional developments,” DHS told Fox News in a statement. “[United States Border Patrol] USBP reminds migrants that under the leadership of President Trump and Homeland Secretary Mullin, the border has remained closed and secured for the last 16 months.”
Yeah, like I would believe anything that comes out of the mouths of Marky Two-Names and his racist band of shitweasels at the Department of Homeland Security.
And they’re really getting lazy, too. Remember back when they used to spice up their reporting with juicy stories about ‘prayer rugs’ being found at the border?
What ever happened to fun scare tactics like that? Fox News is really falling down on the job here. It’s all so patently ridiculous that even the three-toed freak of nature, Marjorie Sporkfoot Greene, can smell a rat.
We have not seen a caravan headed to the U.S. southern border in several years, why now? Oh yeah, there is an election coming and the GOP needs to scare you into voting because nothing else is working.
She’s not wrong — but please don’t be fooled by MTG’s supposed change of heart. It’s all an act. She’s not our friend. Never forget that she spent years promoting this racist garbage, and has never apologized for it.
You would think that the cultists would remember that Sporky and her ilk have been hoodwinking them with this garbage since all the way back in 2018 — but you would think wrong.
And, lastly, we have this fucking fuck to contend with. Holy Mike Johnson — the limpest dick ever to wield the House Speaker’s gavel — wants you to know that if you object to data centers, you’re just falling for commie Chinese propaganda.
Mike Johnson says opposition to data centers “is a Chinese psyop. I really believe that. That’s not a conspiracy theory.”
Mike Johnson can fuck himself straight into the sea. Data centers are a nightmare to live with. They’re noisy. They pollute. They deplete local water supplies. They jack up everyone’s electricity bills, and destroy everyone’s property values.
this isn’t conjecture, nor is it any ‘Chinese psyop.’
I have an idea whose time has come: how about every one of these shit-kazoo politicians who claim that data centers are no biggie, be forced to live next to one for a year?
let’s see how they like it.
who’s with me?
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
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